Animal Farm Review

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With Orwell September in full swing, how could we neglect one of his most well known works?  This novella takes place on a rural English farm in which animals begin a revolution to overthrow their oppressive farmer. Deeply symbolic and easy to follow, it is simple to see why Animal Farm is so highly regarded.

This novel was mandatory reading when I was in high school. I didn’t really understand or care for it then. It seemed highly overrated and somewhat stupid. I recall making ignorant, snarky comparisons to the movie Babe. The allegorical use of animals to the 1917 Russian Revolution and the Stalinist era that followed, didn’t do much for me. Looking back I feel this book was mostly presented as anti communist tome and the deeper issues inside it were outright ignored. I remember discussions about who each character represented, but it was taken with a misguided slant toward patriotism and not a study of political structure.

I feel one point my high school literature teacher missed was how good this book is at explaining how the state works to anyone. Written in a direct and easy to follow form, it does an commendable job of illustrating the cycle of tyranny. Showing the reader how honest, well meaning ideas are agreed upon and slowly manipulated by the powerful and intelligent over the less powerful and less intelligent. Good intentions are quickly forgotten when one group can gain at the expense of another. The social and political constructs in this book are so true to life that the reader is forced to draw parallels to the ones that surround them. 

Dystopian novels rarely show the decline and fall, instead you usually see society at the lowest form. Animal Farm takes great pains to highlight multiple instances in which you see the society breaking down. You feel the plight these animals suffer as more and more things are taken from them.Orwell pushes the reader to ask if the revolution was worth it, or if the animals were better off with the farmer in charge. It alludes to a multitude of political theories and schools of thought, plus highlights how many changes a charismatic leader can make.

This book is goddamn great, truly goddamn great. I rediscovered it a few years after high school and it has been one of my favorites since that time. You can read it in an afternoon  without trying too hard, but it is the sort of novel that stays with you. If you didn’t like it when it was a mandatory read, I believe it deserves another chance. With the upcoming election season be political, read some Orwell. I believe that you will truly enjoy the time spent. Animal Farm proves that while all books are equal, some are more equal than others.

 

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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

Your Heroes Were Human Once

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“When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.” Those words from The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance felt very appropriate for this article. It seems that in any community there are always certain people whose reputation precedes them and are held up to a godlike standard. In the firearms community, some of those demi gods are Jeff Cooper, John Browning, Massad Ayoob and Elmer Keith.

We’re going to focus on Elmer Keith here. For those of you who aren’t the gun nerd that I am, Elmer Keith was a prolific firearms writer and enthusiast. He wrote for multiple firearms publications and had nine books published. He was instrumental in developing the .357 magnum, the .44 magnum and the .41 magnum. He developed the “Keith” style bullet which offers more reliable penetration for hunting applications. Over the tenure of his life, he influenced so many people and became known as quite the polarizing figure.

These are the blurb facts that I was familiar with. I knew the hit list of why he mattered, but didn’t know how he traveled down the path. I was pleasantly ignorant until I learned of this little episode. Elmer Keith was a novice reloader and while developing a powerful load for a Colt Single Action Army, it blew up on him.  In the man’s own words;  “When the gun rose from recoil of the first cartridge I unconsciously hooked my thumb over the hammer spur and thus cocked gun as it recovered from recoil. When I turned the next one loose I was almost deafened by the report and saw a little flash of flame. My hand automatically cocked gun and snapped again but no report. I stopped then knowing something was wrong. The upper half of three chambers was gone. Also one cartridge and half of another case. Also the top strap over cylinder. My ears were ringing otherwise I was all O.K.” (American Rifleman, August 15, 1925)

These are the little things that are glossed over by those who pray at the sanctuary of Elmer Keith.  No one mentions that as the catalyst that turned the man into the myth. No one ever said this rudimentary mistake began his journey down the path of becoming iconic. If someone had mentioned this to me, I guarantee I would have been far more interested in the man.  In the last few weeks, I have devoured vintage Elmer Keith articles and fallen in love with his brash style of writing. I have enjoyed his zest for life and his take no prisoners attitude. The man was extremely knowledgeable and has a great way of teaching the reader. I see that he was worth the hype.

Maybe I’m in the minority, but I like flaws. I gravitate to people who fight through the muck and fail. I need to know that you fucked up before you succeeded. I need to know of the faults to appreciate your accomplishments. If we will humanize our heroes and demote them from their gold plated altars, people might be more apt to appreciate them. They certainly won’t resent them or ignore them if they know they made the same errors we all do. I guess the takeaway is keep your idols in perspective. If you really want others to respect them the way you do, keep your starry eyed gushing to a minimum.

Need more? Ian at Forgotten Weapons has an excellent video showing the aftermath of the blown cylinder here. 

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

The Four Dollar Pamphlet

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Fuck you, Michael de Bethencourt. Fuck you for calling Thirty Eight Tips For Better Snub Shooting a book.  Fuck you for not mentioning anywhere within that it is for new shooters. Fuck you for offering sparse technique, while still having an introduction talking about your skills and qualifications for writing such a pamphlet.

I don’t claim to know everything about shooting, if I did why would I purchase this literature? As a competent shooter looking to improve skills and hone the discipline of my defensive weapon, I expected more out of this. It spent more time on firearm and holster choices than on tactics. I wanted sight alignment tips, hand placement suggestions. Outside of an excellent page on reloading under stress, this was a terrible disappointment. All of the information in this booklet could have easily been found online. Thanks to a few videos from Jerry Miculek and Tom Gresham, I actually got the information I was seeking.

I tried to be objective about this, but as recommended as the author came I couldn’t help but be annoyed. I’m believe that my next foray into this type of information will be from the likes of Ed McGivern or Ed Lovette who actually offer true advice. I should have been more wary, but somehow I still have a naive hope when it comes to the firearms community. I suppose from here on out, I’ll have to be far more selective. It surprises me how small the selection of things for those trying to move from intermediate toward expert. I just wanted to get real tips on trigger control and increase my accuracy on follow up shots, but instead I wasted my time and money.

Moral of the story, pick your advice and educators with more care. Remember that book apparently is open to interpretation. Remember that just because you enjoy a certain hub of information doesn’t mean you will not get conned. Remember that just because something comes from a website called snubtraining.com, doesn’t mean it will offer any skills on snub nose revolvers. Most importantly remember, fuck Michael de Bethencourt, because he’ll charge you four dollars for a pamphlet.

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

Red Harvest Review

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How do you like your crime novels prepared? Hard boiled detectives? Corrupt public officials? Rival gangs gunning for control of a town, perhaps? If so, Dashiell Hammett’s Red Harvest does all those things and more. This detective story is so engrossing and the characters so interesting, I cannot recommend it highly enough. Goddamn, did I like this book.

This is my first journey into any of Hammett’s work and I was quite impressed. I don’t know the last time I enjoyed character dialogue as much as this. It was easy to follow, but still smart and witty in beautiful way. Crisp transitions allowed the plot to cruise along without any clutter or confusion and by doing so, it forced the reader to keep reading. I found myself having a difficult time leaving this book alone as I desperately wanted see how this story would end.

I really enjoyed having a protagonist with anonymity. The Continental Op is believable as a detective, I loved the intimate little details of each person encountered. It gives you a true feeling of who each character was. From crooked lawyers to roommates with breathing disorders, you start to know them the same way that the detective does.  Another thing I enjoyed was seeing how the violent environment wears on the prominent figure’s mental state. As the mystery begins to unravel and the detective gets closer to tying up his loose ends, you want to see how he will triumph over the turbulent town in which he is currently inhabiting.

Go read this book. It has an inventive and well thought out plot that is executed by good characters fueled with reasonable motives. This book is so very worth your time and energy. Though it doesn’t have the same name dropping appeal as The Maltese Falcon, I can’t imagine there being a much more enthralling example of this author’s writing style. This book was highly suggested to me by one of my readers and I must echo that sentimental with full gusto. Goddamn, did I like this book and I think you will too.

 

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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

I Stand W/ Milo

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I stand with Milo. This is not a popularity contest nor is this a trend I am band wagoning onto, I truly stand with Milo. For the unfamiliar, Milo Yiannopoulos is a journalist known for his controversial viewpoints covering the gamut from feminism to Islam to political correctness. He is currently being lambasted by the mainstream media over spreading hate speech and is one of the only accounts permanently banned from Twitter. He is a lightning rod for free speech and a social justice warrior’s nightmare. Goddamn, am I a fan of his.

Milo is what he is. He doesn’t just poke the bear, he body slams the bear.  He has become something of cult figure in the liberty movement by just being honest and speaking his mind. By daring to go against left leaning ideologies and point out the authoritarianism often represented in their actions, he has made so, so many enemies. I can’t ever remember anyone being so clearly hated by so many groups for merely using their words. People like Milo point out all the flaws in fundamentalism and encourage the rest of to advocate copious amounts of liberty.

Free speech was never meant to protect only the things you want to hear. It’s architecture was to allow those with dissenting and reprehensible ideas to bellow aloud. Those so quick to crucify people like Milo are the same ones who would defend him if he was advocating for their specific viewpoints. Honestly, I don’t really care if I agree or disagree with Milo or anyone on every single one of their ideologies. I do; however, vehemently promote their right to say whatever they feel needs to be said. I do not condone this or any other witch hunt aimed at destroying someone for voicing their beliefs. I will continue to advocate and support unfiltered expression, because it is the right thing to do. I will continue to stand with Milo.

 

Experience the controversy first hand

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

Whiskey With Kerouac

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I got shitfaced with Jack Kerouac last night. Home alone and with no real desire to accomplish anything, I drank neat rye whiskeys and read Scattered Poems. For those unfamiliar, Scattered Poems is a collection of vulgar and visceral poetry from the author’s travels across America. It is excellent in every meaning of that word, but I’m not really here to discuss that. I am here to encourage you to remember to live life in your way. I want you to stop and enjoy the whole experience. To remember to be more than just be acquainted with what sings to the muse within you. To taste the entire encounter complete with inspiration, love, joy and rage.

Sometimes, you have to spurn responsibilities and follow your own agenda. Sometimes you have to do the impractical thing that feels right in that moment. Sometimes, you should make that last cocktail when you’re already on the edge of drunk. Sometimes you should eat that last piece of cake. Sometimes you should make conversation with a complete stranger. Sometimes you should walk barefoot in the grass and look at the stars. Sometimes, you should make some decisions in the now and enjoy life for the luscious mystery that lies within.

 

Reality will always be right there waiting for you when you return from your chosen sabbatical. It vigilantly stalks you eager to present you with a new list of demands. Ii will meet with higher tolls and more stringent responsibilities. It will take your spirit and rob your very essence if you allow it. It is imperative that we realize that we are so much more than our agendas and professions allow us to be. We are a vast conglomerations of hope, dream and desires. It is vital to the human condition that we feel and question and contemplate. It is vital that we do not lose touch with the impulses of our imagination. We must continue to wonder, or truly all is lost.

 

 

I encourage all of my illustrious readers to enjoy some of Mr. Kerouac’s fine writing here.

 

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cody’s Most Embarrassing Moment

A bet is a bet. For those of you who haven’t listened to Episode 110 of the Bored Shenanigans Podcast(Available via iTunes, Stitcher and this very website), a wager was made on the last episode. The details are in the episode but I, Cody Jemes lost. In doing so, had to publish an article retelling my most embarrassing moment. It is hard to imagine how such could exist.In co-hosting an online talk show for almost three years, I have revealed many shameful truths that long time listeners are too bashful to recall. I have retold many a tale of my face palming failings and moments of unfiltered stupidity. Those are mere child’s play to what I have for you here. Without further ado, Bored Shenanigans presents Cody’s Most Embarrassing Moment.

Let me take you back to a simpler time. A time before smart phones and reliable wifi signals. A time before tablets and net books. A time when one was forced to download their desired media onto a hard drive if they wanted to take it with them. A time when bulky laptops occupied college students back packs and their battery life was paltry at best. Now in these bygone days of yore, I was a full time overnight employee and a full time college student. I drifted in and out of poor decisions with great regularity, but truly on this day I would out do myself.

The campus I went to opened at seven AM around the time I was finishing my overnight shift. I would often arrive right as the doors opened and the halls were often quite vacant. On this particular day, I felt a need to release some tension before my classes and I secured a safe spot in the men’s room. After some quick reconnaissance work I realized that I was truly alone. I was a man alone with just his lust and downloaded library of erotic entertainment. What could possibly go wrong?  I set up my station, selected my finest adult video, plugged in my headphones and began to enjoy myself. As things escalated and intensified I proceeded with the normal course of action. My fatal flaw was the volume of the video overpowered the volume of my surroundings.

Whilst I was engaged with myself I didn’t hear a knock on the door of the cleaning woman. I certainly didn’t hear her ask if the bathroom was empty. More importantly than that, I was so overcome with my initial desire, I neglected to close the stall door. All these thing culminated in a quick and sorrowful turn of events. As I looked up I saw this poor woman, having just discovered me mid coitus with myself. She exclaimed “Sorry” as I violently shuffled to hide my shame. My laptop crashed to the ground, my headphones pulled out to reveal the sounds of hardcore pornography, I struggled to gather my belongings and my dignity in a losing effort while I vacated that bathroom.

After the woeful event I went and found a quiet corner to hid in my humiliation and in a futile attempt to collect myself. The cornucopia of poor judgments overflowed onto me with unrelenting ferocity. I was a moron. I tried as hard as I could to allow time to pass with some semblance of normalcy. I assumed my foolish behavior would be forgotten as there were only two witnesses.I thought things would be forgotten. Not so much.

I attended that college for two more years and would sporadically see the poor custodian who caught me in the act. I tried with all my might to avoid eye contact with her, but when her eyes found mine she would shake her head with disgust. There is no escape from chagrin so loathsome. To that woman, I am that harrowing tale of what to fear when walking into a men’s bathroom. In her eyes I am perpetually that slumped over pervert who was jacking it for all I was worth in the public restroom.

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast listen to more of his botches on iTunes and Stitcher. Read his not so self deprecating articles here. This deviant also writes poetry, see that here  or download his debauchery filled e-book hereBe sure heckle him on social media via Twitter or Facebook.

 

Mission Statement

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Sometimes, I think my hopes and dreams are so far beyond me that I want to scream. I can see them, but either my lack of focus or work ethic seems to keep them unattainable. Swimming upstream against a tide of daily hardships seems to keep them at bay. That being said, before you abandon this page mid sentence hold on. I know you can’t take another one of those late-twenties, who am I and what do I want to do with my life types of articles. That territory is well trod by Buzzfeed and Salon. Lord knows there are plenty of shitty indie bands shitting out their shitty post grad blues feelings all over perfectly innocent listeners right now.I’m not trying to add to their ranks but instead highlight a particular area in which I routinely fail. In reality, this is meant as a way for you to learn from my mistake.

I take on more than I ever hope to accomplish,I’ll admit it. I dream way too big, procrastinate a bit too much and then burn myself out with overzealous intentions and piss poor time management. I want so badly to be successful in a realm that doesn’t involve my day job, yet I will give the aforementioned day job the bulk of my effort. I just need to make a living, I could probably scrape by at work and actually pursue my side projects to a finish line. I have a difficult time balancing my priorities and I fear when I’m in my golden years I’ll realize that I didn’t do anything on my own terms.

Don’t get me wrong, sacrifice is a part of life and concessions must be made. Sometimes you have to work overtime instead of record a podcast episode. Sometimes, you have to be there at 5 AM to pull the lever instead of outlining a novella you promised your wife you’d write. Sometimes, there isn’t time to just make the final draft of your second poetry e-book. Sometimes only sometimes. More often than not though I find myself agreeing to this things, these distractions when I could just as easily not do them. The Earth will continue to spin and life will go on if I invested in my own efforts as opposed to laboring for someone else’s. They didn’t really need me as bad as I needed them to be my excuse.

This isn’t meant to be a statement of arrogance or legacy. I don’t expect world renown receptions nor am I’m ever going to be a Saul Williams or a Voltaire. I don’t intend to revolutionize the world, but goddamn it I should be using the few things I enjoy and have some ability at more often. I should be doing more with the talent I have instead of trying to not upset the daily humdrum. I should dedicate time to improving my abilities for me. I should have so much content for those who visit our small hovel of content distribution on the big bad Internet. I should be doing so much more.

I wrote a list of goals for the first time in my life. I have a three year plan. I have self imposed deadlines and projects. I’m going to make this work in spite of the same flaws that have haunted me my entire existence. I’ve told my wife about long term goals and am now accountable to someone for them. I’ve set meeting dates for creative collaborations. For the first time in a long time, I’m not feigning effort. For the first time in a long time I’m honestly trying.

Trite as it may sound, I implore you to do better than me. Embrace your entrepreneurial spirit and creativity. Bare your soul. Get that promotion at work, talk to that handsome fella, start or update that blog, get that certification or weave that blanket. Just go forth and grab whatever has been hanging over your head. Do the work. Trudge and struggle along with me. Don’t you dare make me fucking do this alone.

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow us on Twitter or Facebook.

 

My Problems With Net Neutrality

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Congratulations, we all fell for it.  With websites from here, there and all over pleading for us to support Net Neutrality. Politicians and news anchors clamored that this is a much needed regulation. Well it’s official as of June 16th, the FCC Net Neutrality agreement was upheld in Federal Appeals Court. We all win, the Internet is no longer a luxury, it is now regulated as a utility. We can binge watch YouTube and Hulu without interrupted streams.

Net Neutrality was upheld as part of Title II of the Federal Communications Act of 1934. This act was originally designed around phone lines that transports only one type of data. Since the Internet moves so many types of data, to restrict everything on the same plateau eliminates the quality of service currently used. Restricting internet service providers in this way eliminates their ability to offer multiple speeds for their customers and removes the opportunity for them to prioritize the available assets as needed. This will force smaller service providers to new standards they may not be able to handle and regulates ISPs business models in a way that will make it harder to serve their customers.

The implications of how Net Neutrality will impact Internet users is important. These includes the Internet being subject to regulation by the Federal Communications Commission. The truest form of deregulated media may be a thing of the past. Independent content creators could potentially be fined or subject to the current regulations of terrestrial broadcasts.  Another implication of Net Neutrality is having service providers submit how their data is being dispersed and that it is being done according to this agreement. While I know that the Congressional push back has been against the violation of privacy, I am more worried about the cost involved. The expansion of administration or the creation of some agency to ensure that the dictums are met . Regardless, we will all pay for this. An additional concern is that Title II allows regulated utilities to be put under Eminent Domain.

Net Neutrality is unnecessary and overreaching. It chokes the free market and will only cost more money to everyone involved. From businesses to Internet users to taxpayers. Through the use of misleading language, this act will be harmful long term. I oppose this entire thing and I hope that it will be appealed in the Supreme Court. Ideally, this is something that will go away, but my gut feeling is it will haunt Americans the way the Patriot Act has.

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow us on Twitter or Facebook.

 

Thanks Dad

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It’s Father’s Day. So get your traditional funny gifts out and buy a greeting card. I know it’s trite and well worn to celebrate this holiday for the sake of celebrating it. I thought I’d attack it with sentimentality. Saddle up, I thought I’d share my thoughts on my father with our illustrious listening audience.

Thanks for everything dad. You’ve dealt with me being difficult for a long time. As both my wife and friends can attest, I’m an asshole. I know during the most rebellious parts of my youth i amplified that trait to nearly unbearable levels. Thank you for taking that with a grain of salt.

You have been such a positive influence on me. You have pushed me to challenge myself and be self sufficient. You always encouraged critical thinking, even if it resulted in a conclusion you weren’t crazy about. Your advice has always been well grounded and you’re my go to phone call when I need another idea or opinion. I know I owe my sense of humor and deep love of sarcasm to you. You’ve been an astounding example of what a father and man should be.

I sincerely appreciate all that you’ve done
So to all fathers of who listen to Bored Shenanigans, who fathered listeners of Bored Shenanigans or to those who are using Bored Shenanigans as fuel while you and your partner create something to father,  thank you.

Happy Father’s Day

 

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. Be sure to follow him on Twitter at @boredshenanigan. Stay tuned for more articles.

Quick, Everyone Chime In!

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The tragic part of a tragedy is the victims seem to take second place. Nobody really gives a fuck about those affected. Sure, we all feign solidarity, we all wish well, political figures stand in front of podiums and make claims and legislation. Leaders of communities demand action for whatever has happened all the while those who really suffer seem to get lost in the shuffle.

The incident in Orlando has saturated conversations, social media, and all forms of news. Things like this just magnify everyone’s agenda. These things just make people do more of whatever they do. Whatever sacred cow those people or agencies possess, they just do more of that. Anti groups do more of that, disenfranchised groups push to be more accepted, all members of a certain faith are expected to answer for the actions of one individual and any number of other assemblage condemn or begin to fight for their own agenda. Not to mention the multitude of radical fringe organization that will condone the architects of the tragedy.

I can’t claim perfection, I have dabbled in hindsight just as much as everyone else. I have piggy backed on travesties for the sake of proving a point. If only this or if only that, the situation could have been different. I’ve encouraged people to read these statistics and facts that reflect my opinions and beliefs.

During this cavalcade of lobbying and motive pushing people still are suffering. Families, friends and those directly impacted are experiencing unfathomable loss. They are not comforted or allowed to grieve in peace. Their own personal hell is analyzed into a million of “what if?” scenarios. When lives are taken, we owe it to one another to find a solution to the problem. Not the kind of solution that pushes legislation, reinterprets laws and ultimately limits freedoms.

The focus during some type of disaster should be far more introspective. We need a renaissance that allows us to mourn the dead and comfort their families simply because it is the right thing to do. To objectively look at the situation and find a way to teach the next generation that hate only causes problems, it never solves them. We need to foster an environment where differences are tolerated and critical thinking is promoted. More than anything, we need to stop making reactionary judgments and instead just try to be better people.

 

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book here.

 

Review of Catcher in the Rye

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I’ve tried with this series to look at things objectively and from a entertainment mindset. I am not able to do that with the following review and my bias is clearly shown. With that in mind I present you with my review of Catcher in the Rye.

J.D. Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye is one of the only books I’ve ever vowed to never read again. Now I’ve read it twice. I’m a sadist. This book has to inspire more whiny emo band lyrics than any other source. It is dreadful. For those of you who weren’t forced to read this book in high school, it’s about Holden Caulfield and the days following his expulsion from a prep school. It is often praised as a love letter to New York City, showing the vibrant and colorful nature of the city. Holden is often referenced as a symbol of teenage rebellion and angst, capturing the feeling we all had in high school. This book has been banned multiple times for the language and its’ reference in several crimes.

I’ll start off with the positives, I love the style of writing Salinger implements here. The narrative, places you precisely where the protagonist is and allows the reader to see through their eyes and understand their handling of every situation. The author’s concise and well executed methods keep the book easy to navigate and allows the reader to quickly digest every instance.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, fuck Holden Caulfield. As a matter of fact, fuck anyone who claims this as a piece of art that shouldn’t be besmirched. This book is one of the most arduous and least enjoyable things I’ve ever read. If it is meant to be an indictment of adolescents or force you to hate all spoiled teenagers, job well done.

I cannot be alone in this, as a point of experiment, I had my wife try to read this book and she was done after about three chapters. It is a ponderous read, filled with self indulgent whimpers by the main character. He is a walking buzz kill, unhappy by every single aspect of his life and when presented with an opportunity to improve it he just complains all the more.

I hated this book. I found little enjoyment from it outside the narrative used the brevity in which I was able to complete it. What confounds me more that anything is how this book is held in such high esteem. The pedigree of excellence heaved upon this work blows my mind. Maybe I’m too dim witted to understand the implications inside it’s covers, but this goddamn book holds no enjoyment for me.

I cannot and will not recommend this book. If it were just a story I didn’t enjoy, I’d happily tell you. Literature is subjective, I understand that. The amount of universal praise this work finds itself in is misguided and I do not consider it a classic or even an enjoyable read. I almost find it offensive this book is held in the same regard as works of Hemingway and Chaucer. If you must read something I’d reach for the instructions on your toaster oven before cracking the cover on this drivel.

 

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book here.

3rd Party, Please Don’t Fuck This Up

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Holy shit, another option. Holy shit, the Libertarians are actually being mentioned outside of chat rooms and their own circles. Holy shit Gary Johnson and Bob Weld are polling at eleven percent in national polls. Holy shit, the citizens are looking for choices outside of the GOP and DNC. Holy shit, I hope these two make a good showing and open up an express lane for others to campaign and be taken seriously.

I am actively advocating something to disrupt the establishment and push for liberty. We need a mindset change in this country. We have been mired in the left or right paradigm for far too long. The current mainstream candidates appeal to the lowest common denominator and only offer the illusion of choice. Whether the Democrats or Republicans win this election, we will end up in another war, we will have more laws passed that limit freedoms and the national debt will only rise. This things will negatively impact all of us. The people not politicians will be forced to reap the consequences.

Americans need this shift in the political spectrum. They need to see an alternative to the status quo to care again. I just want to liberty to prevail and people to actually be able to chose what works for them. I desperately want the third party to make a good showing this election, so people will stop choosing lesser evils and start moving towards good. Something to uproot career politicians whose only real goal is to stay in power and continue to exist comfortably. So many people are so vocal about how broken the system is, yet they refuse to hear any voice outside of what is easiest.

I plead with you, third party do not fuck this up. The Perot campaign in 1992 is the last time anyone took something different, seriously. We need this to work, we need this to do well and most of all, we need you to not abandon your principles for the sake of fitting in. Candor and truth stand tallest in the forest of mistruths and lies, so please just tread lightly and act with some civility so you don’t ruin fringe candidacy for the next guy.

 

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book here.

 

 

 

 

Is Effort Overrated?

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Cream always rises to the top. Sure it’s an easy colloquialism that is meant to inspire everyone to try hard. It is the style of saying usually reserved for guidance counselors and posters with cute animals on them. So what happens when the cream just gives up because the dairy fights them every step of the way.

Cryptic, I know. Ready yourself, I’m going to elaborate. We’ve all been told to work hard, apply ourselves and give a little extra. This is the secret to success and what we should aspire to be. Just do more because it’s the right thing to do. Great ideas that aren’t given the proper method to thrive.

Face it, some people are never going to apply themselves. Some people are going to skid by doing the bare minimum and that is fine. The application of self isn’t really the issue here. The issue is when those who don’t really exhibit any effort fuck it up for the rest of the people in the room. When they become the majority and lower the standards.

This is where those who legitimately try truly suffer. When the standard are so low, those willing to better themselves and give their all are ostracized. The system of do as little as needed is upset by their presence and they are either forced out of it or are absorbed into it. You either conform or are exiled.

With less being demanded of the individual why bother to compete? We are punishing the truest assets and not rewarding them. We are discouraging motivation and creativity by snuffing out everything it should be. Surely those with any desire will find a way to succeed, but it’ll be on their own merits and in spite of their environments. Good luck my dear overachievers, good luck.

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work in the article section. Also enjoy his poetry blog here.

 

 

 

Group Think

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It seems to me the modern day lynch mobs are growing at an alarming rate. Without even trying to be involved in any of the issues, they are forced upon me. Small minded arguments calling for vindication of some sort of wrong. I’m done with it and as far as I see it, you’re all wrong.

The social justice warriors have sharpened their spears and marched upon the natives, causing the natives to meet them with resentment and violence. Neither group has behaved particularly well, they are both making demands and terrorizing one another.

Every issue from trans-gender bathroom use to the profiling of the practitioners of Islam to those trying to ban or increase gun rights are beating on my brain and I’m tired of it.
What I think is being neglected by all sides of these issues is that we are all losing. What is lost in all of the heated discussions and short sided quarrels is we are playing the hand dealt to us exactly as we should. Instead of coming to some voluntary, civil agreement we call out to our officials to fix the problem. Just as children on a schoolyard call to the teacher, so we call in the litigators and officials.

This has a negative reaction for everyone, some type of law, rule, guideline or mantra will get passed, and that will limit or outlaw someone’s liberty. Whether that freedom was one to support or deny that particular issue. So no one really wins, we all lose. Losing the ability to live a life as we choose because we cannot come to some sort of an arrangement. It seems so simple, when it comes to differing ideas, just rationally discuss it. Act like an adult, conduct yourself with decorum and represent your side intelligently. If we figured out our own solutions that mutually benefited both parties, I doubt all the quarreling would raise everyone’s ire to the point of a riotous frenzy.

If we just show the slightest bit of respect to those in situations different than our own, we might actually fucking learn something as opposed to making judgments on other’s dispositions. Look I never claimed perfection and am filled with my own prejudices, but I am pledging from henceforth to improve my empathy skills. Perhaps, you’ll join me?
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here.

 

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 74

The two least qualified humans on the planet attempt to make some sense out of the abortion topic. With the help of many fine, fine listeners we bring their opinions and our own straight to you.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans

Welcome to Episode 74: Abort!

 

 

BS To Go 007: Half and Half Lite

http://archive.org/download/BSToGo/BS-2-GO_007.mp3%20

Holy Shit! Cody is here to bring you a monumental amount of filibustering. No Brewer here to distract from the important and vital issues at hand. Hear him rank things and tell select stories in this BS to go Lite. Down one host but we persevere and bring you this tasty, tasty content.

Get this bag of amazing goodness here…download

BS-to-GO 06

Live on location, Brent and Cody recap their trip with the whole caravan to Abilene. Hear as they are looked at by weary travelers whilst recording in a hotel lobby, feel entranced as they talk about assholes at Cold Stone Creamery and listen as Cody tries his best not to swear.

May I Take Your Order?     

Would you like the Hot Apple Pie with that?

So that’s one To-Go Episode 06: All Up In The Snuffypuffs

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 52

The boys are on duty tonight making sure you know whats what. They have a contest with a very special girl, Destiny. Tell you all about a new show that they think is going to be pimp. And talk about what and how they would hit it.

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What up Bitches!!!!

Check dis Episode 52: The Brew and C-Dog Show

Also check out one of their favorite clubbing songs.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 51

The mighty door to Vault Shenanigans has swung open and let out another locked up episode. This has all your favorite from rest-full episodes guests telling the story of Cody for your Prom Date. We also indulge in the 2 minutes hate, game on, dance safely, and this episode is not brought to you by stamps.com but it could be.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.    

Welcome to Episode 51: SHENANIGEDDON!!!

5 Songs That Matter Most

Music matters to everyone. We all have those songs that take us back to our youth or to a specific place in our lives. A majestic art that can make us feel everything so deeply and on an almost subatomic level. That being said, I bring to you not only my five favorite pieces of music, but those that mean the most to me. So ready yourselves to disagree as Rank This! Presents Cody’s 5 Songs that Matter most.

5-Fuck Authority– Pennywise
This is a nostalgia choice for me. This is off of their Land of the Free? album and was my first exposure to anything called punk rock. This was my gateway drug into the world of three cords and do it yourself ethos that inhabit a large majority of my musical choice. Before this track, it never occurred to me that you could say this kind of stuff in a song. It opened my eyes to what self expression means and that the rules are merely what you make of them. I love this song as much now as the first time I heard it. A rebellious song that puts it all on front street and challenges the listener to make a change for the better. All in all a fantastic track.

4-God’s Love-Bad Religion 
The most recent choice on the list, this is a song I found a few years ago. This is a song that struck me at a time when I was exploring my own spirituality. God’s Love does a fantastic job of satirically yet insightfully examining one’s faith, especially in the realm of Christianity. I know this will never make a top ten list for Bad Religion songs, but being a big fan of theirs, this song just does it for me.

3-Where Eagles Dare– The Misfits
Let me be clear so there is no confusion, The Misfits are the greatest band of all time. They are far and away my favorite musical choice and cannot stop listening to them and enjoying their work. That being out of the way, Where Eagles Dare is my chosen song of their catalog. This was certainly the hardest pick for me, as I deeply enjoy so much of their music. The chorus of this song makes it, balancing the right amount of fuck you attitude with power to back it up. This song is a perfect manifestation of the horror imagery The Misfits built their legacy upon. A superior song from a phenomenal band.

2-All Apologies-Nirvana
This song is so good it almost physically hurts. Nirvana was such a deeply talented band with some real gems in their albums ,but this is the one I have to choose. Another song I found as a confused loner kid it has managed to grow with me through the years. Covering a large gamete of emotion in a single track, you follow the journey and feel it with every note. This is a necessary song for all humanity, without it who knows where we would be?

1-Paint it Black-Rolling Stones
As far as I am concerned, this is the perfect song. I really have little affinity for the Rolling Stones, but there is some kind of sorcery in this piece. A masterwork of musical arts, this one just never gets old to me. Haunting and beautiful you find yourself at one with the universe when this song plays. It reverberates the frustration and fear of the universe in a few brief moments. A classic in every sense of the word, this my friends is music.

 

Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 43

We here at Bored Shenanigans feel that we have not been doing our part to in society. So, in this episode, we propose an idea that will raise the populace’s vocabulary and strengthen communication.

 

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.    

Welcome to Episode 43: Jesus’ Cunt

We also show you our literary boners, Brewer bests Cody at quoting Star Wars, Cody learns about many different types of spinning things, and CHAD shows us the proper use for Doritos.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 41

Ever feel that classic television intro themes were just a little too sexy for the family? Ever question the realism of Gilligan’s Island? Ever find yourself singing like William Shatner? Do the messages in bumper stickers ever escape your understanding? Do you find all religions too soft on what their rules are? Or ever imagine that your older self will have the exact opposite values you have presently?

Well then we have a Podcast for you!

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.     

Welcome to Episode 41: The church of King Kong Grandpa 

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 39

“Hey look at that hot podcast” and you get a lot for your dollar when you wave it at us on stage. There is talk of beer parties, whiskey dispensers, cheesy rap songs, and everything else wrong on the internet.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.     

Welcome to Episode 39: Live Nudes 3: Hot Hillary and Doofy Bill 

And if you don’t remember live nude means not planed episode with little to no editing.

Seven Quotes to Live By

This world has been filled beyond the brim with more intelligent people than myself. If it magically became necessary to use other’s words to construct a primer to live by, these are the ones that I would chose. The following quotes are meant to distill things down to the core fundamentals necessary to thrive. So, Rank This Proudly Presents

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Quotes to Live By

7) “The truth is that all men having power ought to be mistrusted.” -James Madison

This is imperative. One must think for themselves and do whatever they can to educate themselves and see past what construct of governing sovereignty is presented.  Following without question is dangerous, so always ask some questions.

6) “Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain.” – Jack Kerouac

Life is filled with too much wonder and mystery to not experience it. Grasping life and experiencing them is why we are all here. Seeing new places, tasting new foods, meeting new people and emerging yourself into other cultures can offer a revived perspective, but can also foster a lifelong memory. It it too short to not seize the moments.

5) “A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.” –Jim Morrison

Friendship is a wonderful occurrence. Being able to drop your guard in front of another person and just enjoy each other’s company is a rarity. When you can connect with someone on a level of enjoying a common interest or doing absolutely nothing, don’t let that slip away.

4) “I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” – Ernest Hemingway

Shut the fuck up and listen to what others are saying. Other’s opinions, thoughts, beliefs, or fears can be a phenomenal learning experience. Just don’t talk to hear your own voice, listen to what else is around you and pay attention. It is often worth it.

3) “Hope Is The Last Thing To Die” -Japanese proverb

Hope only gives up when you do. As long as you hold out that things will be okay after something difficult arises, they will. Giving up on hope is your choice, when hope is let go things truly are lost. Don’t lose heart. Hang on, it will all work out in the finish.

2) “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” -George Burns

Family is the tie that binds us. Whether it be your spouse, your child or your mother, that thread is almost indefinably important. That bond that draws family together instantly in the face of crisis, that bond that is shared among siblings, those memorable vacations and those famous recipes.  This is the core nucleus of who we are that defines us as a person. No other group can drive us as crazy or make us feel as important.

1) “Life grants nothing to us mortals without hard work.”            –Horace

This is the one, this is what it all comes down to. Work hard and you will get somewhere. Work hard and you will achieve whatever your goal is. Work can go along way that talent does not. Step up, stand up, fight and take that dream by the horns. Lackadaisical attitudes do not garner success, diligent work is the key to success. 

 

 

 

 Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

Late…ntines Day

I realize that this post is far too late for Valentine’s Day. It was meant to be posted early, yet at posting it looks closer to almost being a week tardy. I would make apologies for such; but, fuck that I wanted to stay this. 

I know that I am a flawed specimen. I hold no infinite knowledge nor amazing insights. Personal shortcomings notwithstanding, I was asked what my best decision was. When asked I could not help but think of the multitude of good choices I have made have orbited around my wife. From deciding to talk to her for the first time to asking her to dinner that time to pursuing her to asking her to marry me. Those have been some of the smartest moves I have ever made. I believe only those who have experienced that depth of feeling and sheer fascination with another human being can appreciate it when I say this. You know who you are, those of you currently enraptured with a someone in whom you literally place your entire self. To put it simply, when She and I are together, We feel bad ass. We feel invincible.  It is a primal and visceral feeling of need and compassion and desire.That is what Valentine’s Day is meant to be. A celebration of that level of love and commitment. It is more than some lame flowers and a half-ass’d card. It is beyond candy and stuffed animals. It is a reason to embrace that devotion shown and set some time aside to enjoy it.

Also, get your grandma or mother a little something. She did deal with all your shit, a little something will remind her you care.

 

Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

Overrated Fictional Characters

We have all been there, sitting around listening to someone prattle on and on about what a great character someone was. Barraged by the popular conception and fandom, we find ourselves hearing just a bit too much about the following characters. Without further ado, Bored Shenanigans’ Rank This! presents

The Top 11 Most Overrated Fictional Characters

11- Cinderella.

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 YAWN. What a boring character with an over referenced story. The story is supposed to give us all a warm fuzzy and believe that one day wonder and beauty will rain upon us and free us from all our hardships. The original story had some dark elements and is more enjoyable, yet it has been so convoluted and watered down by Disney, it is almost unrecognizable. I never saw what the big deal was here. 

10- Legolas.

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I feel clarification is needed here. In Tolkien’s books, Legolas is a member of the original nine who were to protect the ring. He was an introduction to the world of elves and had a few cool action scenes. He was just a fun background character who served his purpose well. Enter Peter Jackson. I guess, a defined cool character was needed. Someone to make the tween boys yell and the tween girls swoon. Dispensing arrows at a feverish pace, Legolas surfs down stairs on shields, kills large amounts of Orcs and tempts death many, many times. Expanded unnecessarily for the film, at least he gives cosplayers another choice in costuming.

9- Wolf Man. 

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Though he is considered a cornerstone of the vintage horror genre, he is the weakest.  All props go to Lon Chaney Jr. for an admirable performance, but he holds little sway. He doesn’t have the vexing nature of Dracula, the sympathy of Frankenstein’s monster, the tragedy of The Phantom of the Opera, or even the mystery of the Gill-man. I respect the ingenuity of the make up and effects, but this film is a bit ponderous and the writing of the character never draws us in. Not too bad, just out gunned by others in the category. The most disappointing thing is they had a second chance with the 2010 film, but it did little to add to the universe.

8- Ryu & Ken. 

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This is a tie for two characters who are essentially the same. Pallet swapped from the beginning these two have become the face of the Street Fighter franchise. With a field of such diverse and fascinating characters, these were the two that were picked? Give me Vega, Chun Li, Bison, Axel or Akuma any day.

7-Harry Potter.

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Too bad there isn’t a magic spell to make you be less of a whiny little bitch. Harry Potter constantly takes on tasks bigger than he can handle and then puts himself or others in peril. A dramatic pre-madonna he takes the role of lone savior much too far and must be bailed out by his much more interesting and well drawn out supporting characters. Gifted with a well written universe and a well thought out set of villains, Mr. Potter falls flat in books and films that bear his namesake.

6- Hamlet.

hamlet

To list or not to list. To deny popular conception of what is iconic stories and throw them by the way side. To withstand the flaming arrows or to take up arms against the status quo of popular opinion…. With all the iconic and well done characters created by William Shakespeare, how has Hamlet become the icon? A man of inaction and debate he ponders and over thinks his next move. I feel Oedipus did it better and was far more intriguing with far more baggage. I understand that history is on Hamlet’s side, but it is no Twelfth Night or The Tempest. 

5- Luke Skywalker.

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I understand why Luke Skywalker exists. He is the innocent soul that can be related to by the audience. He introduces us to the fantastical world around him, I understand his point. But he is such a lost little sheep through the first two films. Sure he has moments of excellence, like destroying the Death Star and knocking down Imperial AT-ATs, but until his transformation in Return of the Jedi, this character is an uninteresting one. Out classed by far more interesting characters like Han Solo, Princess Leia, Obi-Wan, Chewy, the droids and Lando. Truly a so-so character amid a cavalcade of new and exciting relationships.

 

4-Data.

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Spock as a robot. That is all Data is. Sure he was learning about how to be more human, but sweet Omicron Theta! does this character get on my nerves some times. From stupid laughter to singing folk songs, he can really wear on the viewer. As the series progressed, he became more enlightening and showed the audience what it took to be human. I just never understood his appeal to the Trek Nation. 

3- Wolverine.

wolverine

This was a character that never grew with the fans. Okay, he is an invincible bad ass with a foul temper and some sweet claws. Who was experimented on by the government. But was originally from Japan. And may have fought in the Civil War. Logan has been the focus of so many comics and films, we lose track. He was a cool character when we were 12, but now he is yawn worthy with his same antics. He is so deeply associated with the X-Men and the Marvel universe, he has almost become their unofficial mascot. Over exposure that overshadows other notable characters earns Weapon X his place on this list.

2- Jay Gatsby.

Gatsby_1925_jacket

The Book is not about Gatsby. Just because his name is in the title, doesn’t mean that is the subject. Jay Gatsby is a self-righteous twat used by the real main character, Nick to show the glitz over substance society of 1920s America. Wrongly identified as the protagonist and somehow praised as a good character, he receives much undeserved acclaim. 

1- Tidus.

tidus

Auron was wrong. This was not Tidus’ story, it was Yuna’s. This fact would not be so important if Tidus didn’t exclaim that it is his story every five fucking minutes. Barely beating Wakka out as far as stupid Final Fantasy X characters go. This guy has some huge fan following and he is by folds the most annoying person in your party. Why would you want him back in the sequel? Tidus can suck my Blitzball.

Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

Ranking Tarantino Flicks

To start off our new Rank This! series, we list something near and dear to all of us here at the BS Production House. Tune in Weekly for fun and exciting checklists of things we love and hate. If you have any suggestions, please let us know. Without further ado, Bored Shenanigans presents

Ranking Tarantino Flicks

8-Kill Bill Volume 2

Kill_bill_vol_two_ver

Coming in at number eight, is the second half of Tarantino’s love letter to the kung-fu film. Michael Madsen proves the undeniable highlight of this film. A good movie, but lacking in the masterful action that took place in the first film. Only someone like Tarantino could have a movie like Kill Bill Vol. 2 be this low on their best of list.

 7-Django Unchained

django

Barely squeaking out of the number six spot, the latest film to wow audiences and stir up controversy. Tarantino’s stylized American West served as a back drop for this revenge epic. Recruiting a slew of highly skilled actors, this film shines as one of his best pieces and proves that Mr. Tarantino still has the Midas touch.   

6-Jackie Brown

jackie brown

“Shut your raggedy-ass up, and sit the fuck down!”

This is the most under appreciated movie that resides in the Tarantino filmography. Following the hugely successful Pulp Fiction, this one some how fell through the cracks. It was a critical favorite and earned Pam Grier some much deserved recognition, but this is usually the film even most Tarantino fans have missed. A very well written and well acted piece, if you haven’t seen it, you are missing something special. 

5-Kill Bill Volume 1

Kill-Bill-Vol--1-uma-thurman-263921_888_1400

This is an action movie. This is the way they are done and this is how martial arts movies exists in the 21st Century. Ultra stylized, extra violent and truly compelling, this was the vehicle that reminds us all of how bad ass a yellow track suit is.

4-Death Proof

death proof

It is damn shame that the Grindhouse experiment didn’t go over better than it did.  If you like 70s slasher flicks and muscle cars, this is the right movie for you. One of the coolest movies rides in recent memory with a great mix of dialogue and action. This picture shows the evil genius that resides behind the camera. Paired with Planet Terror and packed full of fake trailers, this was exploitation films on a huge budget. One of the most fun works in Mr. Tarantino’s catalog.

3-Reservoir Dogs

reservoirdogs

“You gonna bark all day, little doggy? Or you gonna bite?”

This is the movie that made Tarantino a household name. What a powerhouse of a debut film. The characters in this film are so well drawn out, they seem like you have known them for years. If there were any more bad-asses on your screen, the TV would kick your ass and take your wallet. This is the heist film by which all other heist films are judged by, yet you never even see the actual heist. Rarely does something this good come along, yet it only makes number three here.

2-Inglorious Basterds

ingloriousbasterds

Tarantino doesn’t care what spell check has to say. He misspelled it on purpose and never apologized for it. This World War Two ride throws history to the curb. Over the top assassinations of Hitler, hilariously bad Italian accents, angry Holocaust survivor,  and legendary cut throat soldiers. Any number of these things would make a film phenomenal. This one combines them all along with one of the greatest villains ever put to film. Christopher Waltz transcended so deeply  into character, you forget you are watching an actor. In all sincerity, this is one of Hollywood’s finest displays of cinema.

1-Pulp Fiction

pulpfiction

This is the most quoted movie around the BS water cooler. We seriously wore a DVD out by playing it so many times. Yes it revived careers, yes it made us all want a “Bad Motherfucker” wallet. It made us all laugh when Marvin got shot in the face, and we all have our coffee with lots of cream lots of sugar. Preserved by the National Film Registry for artistic and cultural significance, this will forever go down as a classic. This movie will be torn apart and analyzed forever by film students and film critics. This is excellence reincarnated into pure awesome. Making ‘getting medieval’ a thing and it will inspire throngs of storytellers for eons.  


Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @ Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

BS To Go 003: Going For Broke

The wait is over America, Brent returns with Cody as they philosophize over porn, pro athletes pay checks, and a the state of our demographic. So roll up your sleeves and enjoy a hearty helping of BS to go!

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Top 9 Favorite Swearwords

Cody’s Top 9 Favorite Swearwords

9)Piss. Does this really count? Isn’t this just a rude word? Like saying I voted for straight Republican ticket or I like Creed? This one barely makes the list.

8)Tits. Really? How is this a bad word? I guess because it isn’t the more technical teets, it is sinful. At least it brings to mind something wonderful, hence it’s position.

7) Damn. This is a pretty weak swear word, even when added as a description word. Even at it’s highest level of ‘I damn you to hell!’ it really requires a stronger word to make it strong enough.

6) Hell. This beats out damn simply on imagery. Devils, demons, hell fire and brimstone are all solicited. No one wants to go to hell, not even Hell, Michigan. A good word, but trumped by others on the list.

5)Shit. The versatility gives this one a guaranteed spot. Oh shit, holy shit, stepped in shit, dropped my shit, a shitty list. What a great word with good strong symbolism.

4)Ass. Another good one, it can be a great thing or a description of a horrible person. A giant ass can mean something glorious, something moronic or something vomit educing. Asses would be nothing without assholes, but the sphincter owes this one a debt of gratitude.

3) Dick. Insert Freudian phallic symbolism joke here. Look you can add ‘dick’ to anything, dick-day, dick-grass, Jupiter-dick. I don’t know what they mean either, but they sound dirty and it is all thanks to dick.

2) Cunt. I seriously had to debate my one and two for quite some time. This lost, but it did receive much consideration. This word immediately receives a shudder of disapproval from the fairer sex. Isn’t that one of the best parts about enjoying foul language? To irk the women?

1) Fuck. Come on, what else could top this list? This is the big enchilada of swear words and honestly, one of the most necessary words in the English language. It has the most ability to express every emotion conceived by mankind. This is an amazing word and most worthy of a number one spot.

***)Honorable mentions, motherfucker, cocksucker and goddamn are phenomenal swear words. Flowering your speech with them can add such atmosphere, but they generally require another word for them to work properly. So if you want an all powerful swear, we here at Bored Shenanigans, advocate the use of all of these.

 Cody Jemes  is the mastermind and head complainer behind the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Has his writing style got you all hot and bothered and you crave more? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at  Texas Fandom, watch him abuse poetry on his blog or if  you are tired of reading? Listen to the podcast he cohosts.  

Hey Look A Distraction!

I’ve got 99 problems but a badass podcast ain’t one

If you’re having to use some one else’s domain name I feel bad for you son

We have this ‘cast thing down to pure science

So good we can do it with our eyes closed

Critics of good taste say we are too intense
We advocate truth and free speech, of course we will make foes
If you don’t feel that way, then fuck off we aren’t for you
We came to distribute the free thought and the free funny
Yes, We are the BS crew
We do this because we like it, we make zero money
So send us some hatemail or eat our soup
We are irreverent in all the right ways
Or listen to how low in the gutter our topics will stoop
So tune in on Mondays and give us a play
Surely it is the best way to download some fun

I got 99 problems but a badass podcast ain’t one

So we realize that we are late. New domain names do not solve all problems, hell would it be a BS production if it were not rifled with technical difficulties? New content is on it’s way, the episode will be up as soon as we fight off the Kraken and Rancor of the new feed. Nothing should change for you but a better Bored Shenanigans experience, we will remain on itunes and will soon be in the windows store and on the android app ‘podcast addict.’ Plus very soon you can wear and stick symbols of your favorite cast in places to cover places. Sorry for the big promises and the delays, but hang in their rouges gallery, hang in there ‘guy driving in his car’ hang in there good people of Podcastlandia. We are coming to you very soon.

Letting It All Hang Out

After mulling this over for quite some time, I feel the need to share this within my weekly article.  The below piece is a bit of prose I wrote and posted on my poetry site, but I feel very strongly about it and frankly need to share it. I have tried to use discretion and not flood the lot of you with a copious amount of poetry or other writings as I know that they do not always yield highly on the entertainment wheel.  Furthermore when we started doing all the Bored Shenanigans related stuff I promised all of you I would always voice my own opinion regardless of consequence or outcome and seeing as how this is simply a meager little platform of self expression I will use it as such. I feel that by not being open and honest, I am doing all of our listeners and fans a disservice.  So, that being said I hope you enjoy or if you do not, let me know in the comments.

Personal Reflections

I find that the established ideal of patriotism to be nothing more than a skin deep dictum used to either sway or dis sway someones agenda. I know that comes off as the self righteous musings destined for some sort of justification, but that assumption is incorrect.
Look, the questioning of the established order is what life is all about, we are meant to call out injustice and unfair action when we see it. Blind trust in anything only leads to disintegration and proclaims your own ignorance. You are more than an easily conquered proletariat. You are more than an easily manipulated populace, pay some attention to the world around you. Read between the lines, open your eyes, and wake the fuck up. The misuse of patriot and countryman is merely propaganda from those who demonstrate none of these qualities. Distrust and disdain for sovereignty does not default a person into an anti citizen. Those who hold genuine malcontent for the multitudes or those who are too apathetic to oppose or side with an a governing body are the real evil. Indifference is the ultimate evil, yet we find ourselves so eager to wave a flag or watch a firework display to demonstrate the genuine nature of our love of country. If you truly love something you are willing to admit the faults it has, you are also willing to use the rights granted at its inception to ensure that those principles are maintained. You are throwing stones at the wrong people, at the very least listen to those with differing ideologies than your own.
I suppose it really comes down to this, if you are so eager to label someone a turncoat communist fascist, perhaps you should think of what those accusations mean. I would be hard pressed to think of a country that was not fashioned upon some type of rebellion or at the very least some intense diplomacy. For a nation founded on personal liberty, it seems that we are hellbent and determined to deny those things from our fellow citizens who do not fit squarely into our own fundamentalism.

Cody Jemes  is the mastermind and head complainer behind the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Has his writing style got you all hot and bothered and you crave more? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at  Texas Fandom, watch him abuse poetry on his blog or if  you are tired of reading? Listen to the podcast he cohosts.  

Begrudgingly

Just fucking squash your petty feuds. Don’t sit and stammer at the screen making up bullshit excuses aimed at nothing beyond self-gratification, fucking eliminate your feuds. Look, it is understood that some wrongs cannot be righted. Some grievous and dire violations of self and family cannot be corrected by a mere ‘I’m sorry’.  Outside of select few instances, do that many of us have things requiring Punisher-esque  style of revenge? Look we all disagree, we all are assholes or victims of assholes at times, nevertheless if we want to have any type of chance at moving forward, one must eliminate the issues. If you really don’t give a fuck about the person you are disagreeing with, them ignore them. However, when it comes down to family, friends, co-workers, or hell even frequently used hookers, just fix the issue. No one wants to walk waist deep in the excrement of your stupid high school drama. Nobody wants to feel that uneasy and unsettling tension that hangs so heavy when aforementioned squabblers are in the room. If not for your sake do it for the sake of everyone else.

Beyond all that, if the issues marred whatever relationship was there, at least try to be civil. Just feign a bit of courtesy and think to yourself what a goddamned cocksucker that person is. So here at Bored Shenanigans we advocate treaties amongst warring parties and nations. No more should one feel the attrition of another just because of something ridiculous and misunderstood. No longer shall we bicker as teenage girls do over who is prettier and who gets to wear purple to the prom. Just let it go.

 

Cody Jemes  is the mastermind and head complainer behind the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Has his writing style got you all hot and bothered and you crave more? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at  Texas Fandom, watch him abuse poetry on his blog or if  you are tired of reading? Listen to the podcast he co-hosts.  

Time’s Wastedland

Seamlessly and successfully time tends to scamper away from you some days. In some miraculous manner, even the best laid intentions some how flutter far off into the stratosphere. So how does one cage the elusive animal of time? Is it a slow mastery akin to ancient art or is it just a goddamn hard-nosed determination to beat it? Lengthy and often redundant amounts of thought have gone into this quandary, so what does one do upon the realization that, “Oh shit, there went my weekend?” Do they frenziedly and frantically fight to maintain a little bit of dignity in the face of adversity or do you shrug it off to bad luck, poor timing, and some other variables?

I have no fucking idea.  I do know ,however that we have all been on both a winning and a losing side of this particular skirmish. We have all managed and wrangled our allotted schedule with vigor and not allowed anything to stop our goal, other times we are standing beneath a leviathan surely to be crushed.  I guess my only conclusion hope for the best and plan for the worst. Do not be too unnecessarily hard on yourself when calamity interferes, but also do not await such calamity’s interference to get things accomplished.

Alas,  dear reader I have used this article and you as a distraction long enough and must go forth and accomplish as opposed to squandering away more motherfucking time. So stop using me as a distraction and go out and achieve as well.

 

 

Cody Jemes  is the mastermind and head complainer behind the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Has his writing style got you all hot and bothered and you crave more? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at  Texas Fandom, watch him abuse poetry on his blog or if  you are tired of reading? Listen to the podcast he cohosts.  

Bored Shenanigans-To Go 001

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Welcome everyone to Bored Shenanigans… To Go. On this initial episode of the To Go series Cody is joined by Brent, In which he and Brent tell embarrassing tales about themselves, wax philosophical about their friendship, talk about pod casts better than this one and briefly gloss over school emergency policy. Also enjoy Cody’s first try at editing and see if you can handle a BS episode without Brewer. So beyond all that, this episode is also somewhat of a ‘oh shit!’ as the plague has infected the BS studios, delaying our normal release schedule. As we recover, we hope you enjoy this.

New Year’s Resolve

New Year is a time of new beginnings and half ass’d promises to yourself. Those vices you intend to release into the great abyss of time and space, those torrid little corruptions we hold onto despite our best intentions. This is the year when we customarily let those fallacies flutter away and try to better ourselves. That in and of itself is a grand old tradition, yet the often forgotten and for granted part of such is to actually change. A change is a difficult thing, it is a re-manipulation of habits and reliable old actions. Change can present either the height of terror or the oasis of hope to all whom pass upon that roadway.  The most prevalent part of any change is to actually change, not to just jostle up things to settle back into familiar old routines. Fucking alter whatever you intended to revise and move forward with it. Take it, embrace it, and conquer the goddamn thing, do not allow the lack of change to conquer you. It is imperative that you actually follow through, sift through the trifle of excuses and emerge victorious. Whatever your goal was, attain that. Change your job, change your waist line, change your religion, hell change your abilities, just do the work and win.  That is your humble writer’s goal this New Year, to follow through and stand triumphant atop my flaws.

Cody Jemes  is the head writer of the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Need more of him and don’t know where to look? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at  Texas Fandom, leave snarky comments on his  poetry blog or if tired of reading? Listen to the podcast he co -hosts.  

The Horror, The Horror

We are all fucking pussies. No matter how much of a hard-ass we pretend to be. Sure we have all had moments of pure pansy and unadulterated heroism, but all in all, we are pussies. We all have our fears, those things that quiver us to our very soul. The key to all fears is to not allow it to conquer you. We know that this is not any ground breaking ideal or anything, but it holds sway. Can you ever appreciate how good a horror movie is without sitting down, screaming like a girl and enjoying the ride? Or can you ever know how fun a swim in the pond is without jumping in. Being overly cautious can hinder you from experiencing the best pieces of life. Precaution has its place, yet it is imperative to grasp life and go.  So you can be a fucking pussy and still live. You must just step past your hang ups and try to confront such fear. You must embrace what frightens you and make your enemies share your dread. Just remember to step outside yourself and talk to that pretty girl or cognitively react when true fear or danger does rear its head. Sure we are fucking pussies, but we are also capable of great things.

Cody Jemes  is the head writer of the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Need more of him and don’t know where to look? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at  Texas Fandom, leave snarky comments on his  poetry blog or if tired of reading listen to the podcast.  

Ball and Chain

Obscene and copious amounts of freedom. The kind of liberty that you need floaty water wings for. That is the level of independence that should be most advocated, yet is the most feared. In a time where there are laws atop rules atop regulations, is it really prudent to advocate for more? The human animal as it were, fears a land without its cage. The restrictions that we fight the hardest for are the ones that we need to control ourselves. Without a leash, we do not know how to self govern. If we had any sense of how to modulate our own actions, then we certainly wouldn’t require another bloated law. I know that you are thinking to yourself, “That will be total anarchy, bedlam will run rampant in the streets, we will be neck-deep in chaos.” My only response, is highly doubtful. I am not advocating the instant banishment of all laws, as a society we need such structure to maintain some order, but that is at a societal level. What I am saying is we, as people, see our biggest fears and internal monsters in the laws we create. Pro-lifers fight abortion because they would do it if their religious climate allowed it. Anti-gun proponents push for tight gun laws because they feel they would hurt someone with it. Anti-discrimination legislation are most likely passed by someone who has prejudices they do not want to admit. Same with every other law under the sun, it wasn’t passed to protect anyone it was passed so there was a wall to keep proletariat held in. This isn’t meant as a condemnation of such, but merely an observation. So maybe, just maybe the next time you feel impassioned to adjust the amount of freedom that is in the world, think if it is needed as a whole or just needed for you.

Cody Jemes  is the head writer of the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Need more of him and don’t know where to look? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at  Texas Fandom, leave snarky comments on his  poetry blog or if tired of reading listen to the podcast he co -hosts.  

Endure, Survive and Fucking Thrive

Forward

Just trudge onward
Do not merely survive
Do not just endure
Thrive amid the chaos
Take the poison of the moment, turn it to the remedy of a lifetime
Remember that pain is the seed that grows great power
Remember your true potential shows when demoralization reaches its apex
Persevere

We are stronger than we allow ourselves to be. We will rise to the occasion and challenges set before us. Nothing should perpetually conquer us. We should all be resilient, take whatever kicked you in the teeth and learn from that situation. Grow from the that scenario and not repeat our own history’s failure.  If we are never confronted, we will never know how strong a weight we can lift. When an instance comes about that quakes us to our core, we must rise above. Do not allow defeat to just set in, if plan a fails or falls through try plan b or c or goddamn double q if it goes that far. Failure is merely success training. This article was not meant to quote every high school guidance counselor’s poster but as a means to raise up our readers. Adversity can bring out our best, if not in the moment maybe once the storm has calmed. Just keep fighting guys.

 

Cody Jemes  is the head writer of the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Need more of him and don’t know where to look? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at  Texas Fandom, leave snarky comments on his  poetry blog or if tired of reading listen to the podcast

 

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode b

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode b:…S about F words

To all the new listeners and those returning, thank you.

This is what could best be described as the second pilot episode; the co-pilot one could say.

In it this time is well, some BS at the beginning, theft of weird items, atomic radiated spider ninjas, and steampunk. Then we get a little serious/preachy about censorship. Throughout the whole thing many bad puns.

This episode is marked extra explicit for the overabundance of real and fictitious swearing and Cody’s general offensive nature.

 

Note – In some web browsers you need to right click the download and choose save as. For those that did not know.