Mission Statement

TheMissionStatement (1)

 

Sometimes, I think my hopes and dreams are so far beyond me that I want to scream. I can see them, but either my lack of focus or work ethic seems to keep them unattainable. Swimming upstream against a tide of daily hardships seems to keep them at bay. That being said, before you abandon this page mid sentence hold on. I know you can’t take another one of those late-twenties, who am I and what do I want to do with my life types of articles. That territory is well trod by Buzzfeed and Salon. Lord knows there are plenty of shitty indie bands shitting out their shitty post grad blues feelings all over perfectly innocent listeners right now.I’m not trying to add to their ranks but instead highlight a particular area in which I routinely fail. In reality, this is meant as a way for you to learn from my mistake.

I take on more than I ever hope to accomplish,I’ll admit it. I dream way too big, procrastinate a bit too much and then burn myself out with overzealous intentions and piss poor time management. I want so badly to be successful in a realm that doesn’t involve my day job, yet I will give the aforementioned day job the bulk of my effort. I just need to make a living, I could probably scrape by at work and actually pursue my side projects to a finish line. I have a difficult time balancing my priorities and I fear when I’m in my golden years I’ll realize that I didn’t do anything on my own terms.

Don’t get me wrong, sacrifice is a part of life and concessions must be made. Sometimes you have to work overtime instead of record a podcast episode. Sometimes, you have to be there at 5 AM to pull the lever instead of outlining a novella you promised your wife you’d write. Sometimes, there isn’t time to just make the final draft of your second poetry e-book. Sometimes only sometimes. More often than not though I find myself agreeing to this things, these distractions when I could just as easily not do them. The Earth will continue to spin and life will go on if I invested in my own efforts as opposed to laboring for someone else’s. They didn’t really need me as bad as I needed them to be my excuse.

This isn’t meant to be a statement of arrogance or legacy. I don’t expect world renown receptions nor am I’m ever going to be a Saul Williams or a Voltaire. I don’t intend to revolutionize the world, but goddamn it I should be using the few things I enjoy and have some ability at more often. I should be doing more with the talent I have instead of trying to not upset the daily humdrum. I should dedicate time to improving my abilities for me. I should have so much content for those who visit our small hovel of content distribution on the big bad Internet. I should be doing so much more.

I wrote a list of goals for the first time in my life. I have a three year plan. I have self imposed deadlines and projects. I’m going to make this work in spite of the same flaws that have haunted me my entire existence. I’ve told my wife about long term goals and am now accountable to someone for them. I’ve set meeting dates for creative collaborations. For the first time in a long time, I’m not feigning effort. For the first time in a long time I’m honestly trying.

Trite as it may sound, I implore you to do better than me. Embrace your entrepreneurial spirit and creativity. Bare your soul. Get that promotion at work, talk to that handsome fella, start or update that blog, get that certification or weave that blanket. Just go forth and grab whatever has been hanging over your head. Do the work. Trudge and struggle along with me. Don’t you dare make me fucking do this alone.

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow us on Twitter or Facebook.

 

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 101


We made a road trip to teh Pure Pwnage movie premier. But don’t worry there are no spoilers for it so you are safe. Other than the movie, which is great, on the trip we ran smack into a cult see pictures on our faceyspace and show notes. We also talk about porn because why not. And of course we talk about the Autoblow 2 because this is the 1 year anniversary of the first episode (Episode 071) in which we talk about it.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 101: Vasecto-cast

HELLO to you Arizona!! Hope you are having a good day!

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 98-2

Happy September 16th dear listeners, On this anniversary of the founding of General Motors do we have a special episode for you. Find out the ins and outs of concealing your favorite pussy gun, learn which letters the hosts really hate and hear what happens what is in Grant’s tomb.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 98-2: Pussy Guns & Dead Presidents

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Stalling For Time 05


Why hello there. This episode is here to fulfill all your sensual desires. It will gently caress your supple body and fill you with orgasmic desire. You are in for the most erotic podcast of your life, prepare yourself for ecstasy you have never experienced. Welcome to Stall For Time 5, Live Nudes or Something.

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While You Wait for Some Bored Shenanigans…

Stall For Time Episode 005: Live Nudes or Something

CAST:
Rev. Ryan S. Brewer— Emmanuel Westinghouse
Cody Jemes————- Emmanuel Westinghouse

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 97

Hey you! Yes you! What are you doing? Put that down and come over here. Do you know that the Bored Shenanigans Podcast has started recording its Third Year of shows? Well you should have they have only been talking about it for the past few months. And guess what the third year starts just like the first year did. With utter crap. The beginning is good and very jokey then we bore you with our lives but its ok because we know that.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 97: 1b

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 96

New equipment in the studio; so, woot. Cody is a bitch. And flyer are countered with other flyers in a war to win space on a bulletin board. Don’t worry you can see it below in the show notes for this episode. Cody still a bitch. But he did a tell all on the faceyspace so find that in the show notes as well. Cody is a bitch about bitching. And strange things poke out of backpacks.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 96: Fearless Flyers

Don’t forget to check out the show notes. There are show notes. For real.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 95

We can Cast on the beach You know I want to get bored in the sea
We gotta try a little dance, so Shenanigans is alright by me
Come on, let me take your download I will show you around Let me take you down
Face down in BS Kissing the ground.

Thats right it is our Second year anniversary of making the best possible podcast that a banana peel in a tube sock could do. And as tradition we go to the Beach!!! But this year we bring some friends.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 95: Shenanigans in Paradise 2: Even Beachier

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 90

Simon says put your hands together for another week another podcast, Cody is trapped in the closet and Brewer is sprawled out and relaxed. Plus what happens when the power goes out? Will your the podcast continue on? Tune in to find out.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 90: the ghey 

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 86

Find out the exciting conclusion to last weeks episode with the new news from Cody. Also hear Brewer talking more on the pot, Cody get the shakes, and what we see as the bigger problem with a failed terrorist attack.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 86: The 1 Too Long for 1 Part so has a Part 2: Part 2

Also the last about 20min or so I did not edit at all. So think of this as a topless bar more than a live nudes

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 82

A pragmatic reverend, an opinionated electrician, when their powers combine, they form Bored Shenanigans! Rejoice all listeners, Cody has returned to flirt with your ears and sexy parts. Brewer missed him, even though he will never admit it.  The agenda this week involves canceled concerts, failed social experiments and an inordinate amount of swearing. Tune in for the number one choice in on demand audio entertainment.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 82: blah, meh, who

BS to Go 09

Brewer gets a new side kick this week in the form of Brent (the sexy baby) and he wants to talk about racism. There is also more Internet Strangelove, Brewer pulls some weeds, and there are no fat guys or trolleys.

May I Take Your Order?   

Would you like the Hot Apple Pie with that?

So that’s one To-Go Episode 09: Naked Brent

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 81

So we talk about the new Mad Max and Independence Day and Bad Religion (the band that is. This isn’t one of those atheist heavy episodes). But what is most interesting is we find more of what I titled in the tags last week as “Internet Strangelove: or how I learn to Stop Judging and Jerk Off to the Porn”

This week we see Asian girls actually hobbing knobs and a boob buffet! And the return of everyone’s favorite themes song for everyone’s favorite B.S. segment Face/On. Which after this one there may never be another because I don’t think it could ever be topped.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 81: HOT KNOBS

Remember to check the show notes for all that we talked about so you to can see these things because we have not perfected beaming pictures into your brains via sound yet. Though through smell looks promising.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 80

 We got two big snakes in this episode one up front the other at the end to bracket an episode where we skate right into Kevin Smiths territory with a series of funny stories about Canada. But if Poutine is not your thing then you will find some late ’70s anime with propaganda, early ’40s Hollywood fighting the Nazi, and if only we were on time story about Randy Savage

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.    

Welcome to Episode 80: J.O.I., Eh?

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 78

Welcome one, welcome all, welcome this is the Greatest Show on Earth. Cecil Demille be damned, we don’t need technicolor, Betty Hudson, Charlton Heston or elephants to deliver greatness. I’d offer little previews of what is discussed, but that is unfair to you. This is the most exceptional, most fantastic and by far the sexiest episode of Bored Shenanigans ever.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.    

Welcome to Episode 78: The Greatest Show on Earth: PART 1

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 77

On Saint Patrick’s one of our host trips the other loses his arms. Brent tells us his new nickname. Also, there are chicks, big hoes, and a confusing term.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 77: Need a hand?

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 76

We record this on International Women’s Day so we talk about penises. Sorry or you are welcome ladies. Also Larry Sanders? Cody shoots his mouth off and has problems with Brewer’s names.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 76: A Couple Thousand of Dicks

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 75

Leonard Nimoy is no longer with us so we talk about him for awhile. And then after that we have problems answering any questions we ask each other. I vaguely remember something about the sexual orientation of candy bars, a woman loses something way stranger than her marbles in a parking lot, Biblical slang, and Willy Wonka vs. Mary Poppins there can be only one.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 75: Remember…

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 74

The two least qualified humans on the planet attempt to make some sense out of the abortion topic. With the help of many fine, fine listeners we bring their opinions and our own straight to you.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans

Welcome to Episode 74: Abort!

 

 

Bored Shenanigans Podcast-Episode 70

The plague is going around the BS studios and your two humble hosts battle through the fog of sickness and staying out far too late to bring you something. Listen as we review movies that we have zero business reviewing and find new things to put on a popular deity.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 70- 

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 67

In the first episode recorded in the new year we try to do some beginning of the year cleaning of things we never got around to talking about. But just like everyone else when they try to clean, we do a little work and quit to play video games. Also since it is the first of the year we review the past one and make some predictions about the next one.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 67: Once and Future Podcast

And if that’s not enough to get you to download what if I said psychic butts and Unicorn genitalia

BS To Go 007: Half and Half Lite

http://archive.org/download/BSToGo/BS-2-GO_007.mp3%20

Holy Shit! Cody is here to bring you a monumental amount of filibustering. No Brewer here to distract from the important and vital issues at hand. Hear him rank things and tell select stories in this BS to go Lite. Down one host but we persevere and bring you this tasty, tasty content.

Get this bag of amazing goodness here…download

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 61

Find out why things have been so hectic last week. Yesterday was Carl Sagan Day and we talk about all the things we did for it. The voting is done see how your favorite team did. Snakes are going missing and only we have the skills to make puns about it. Brewers writing a self help book on podcasting and Cody does not know when to stop talking sexy.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.    

Welcome to Episode 61: … or hardly working

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 58

***SPOILER ALERT*** for BS episode 59

A good name for an ok episode. Filled with all the things that will not make it into next weeks episode or haven’t yet made it into any previous. Also Cody is terrorized and watches movies for Halloween, naked people are in our houses doing things to plants, we hate vague people, and love making up new ways to make love.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.    

Welcome to Episode 58: Live Nudes 7: When the Tigers Broke Free

Also you can now find us on Stitcher

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 54

I don’t care if it vibrates or lubes
I want a blow up Jesus
sitting the desktop of my computer
It should come in colors from pink and pleasant
to glowing in the dark and iridescent
Travel sizes too so you can take it with you travel far
Get yourself a fuckable deity with all the features often needed
Browsing for the sexual Christ isn’t too scary
We can’t even find a sex doll of Virgin Mary
So maybe none of us will go to hell

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.    

Welcome to Episode 54: Sin City 2: You can’t fuck Jesus

Also, Brewer is the Greatest American Hero, Cody is not allowed to poop, and a gnaked girl is abducted by gnomes.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 50

Have you blown out your flip-flop? Stepped on a pop-top? Cut my heel had to cruise on back home? Well there’s episodes in the feed and soon you will get what you need. Those shenanigans that helps you hang on.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.    

Welcome to Episode 50: Shenanigans in Paradise

After a year of shenaniganing our way into your hearts we take a well earned vacation in paradise.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 47

You know how it is some days you are doing a podcast talking about the usual topics like 55 gallon drums of sex lube, our favorite Warner Bros cartoon character Quentin Tarantino, and creative cam girls then the next thing you know you are in the middle of a rest-full episode when Justin knocks on your window.  All the wile Orson Welles is confused and angry.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 47: Pullin’ in the Rest Stop

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 46

Alot is going this episode (yes I typed “alot” on purpose, want to fight about it). Cody is in a fight with Obama on two fronts, Brewer is in a fight with the Pope’s demons, Colonel Sanders is in a fight about nothing, Turtles are in a fight with Rangers and, we all lose the fight with nostalgia.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 46: Naming things gets hard

BS-to-GO 004 – B

Well, Brewer and Cody were supposed to do an episode last week but some strange events intruded on this plan. So, Cody finds himself when Brewer disappeared.

 

May I Take Your Order?

Would you like the Hot Apple Pie with that?

So that’s one To-Go Episode 04b: Getting to know your evil twin – Side B

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 41

Ever feel that classic television intro themes were just a little too sexy for the family? Ever question the realism of Gilligan’s Island? Ever find yourself singing like William Shatner? Do the messages in bumper stickers ever escape your understanding? Do you find all religions too soft on what their rules are? Or ever imagine that your older self will have the exact opposite values you have presently?

Well then we have a Podcast for you!

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.     

Welcome to Episode 41: The church of King Kong Grandpa 

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 36

Holy B.S.? More like wholly bs! Yeah, I am sorry that joke exists now in the world too… What I was trying to say was it was recorded on Good Friday. But don’t fret that doesn’t stop us from telling dirty jokes and talk about movies. Also a sexy study, Cody double the date night, and Brewer finally finishes Final Fantasy XIII franchise.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.     

Welcome to Episode 36: Even better Monday

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 35

The return of two of your favorite BS segments, Rapid Fire Cast!™ and the BS Random Question Game Show©. Do you have an opinion on burial because we do. Also, do you have State Pride and what would you do if you had all the moneys?

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.     

Welcome to Episode 35: Death by Firing Squad 

Links of Awsome

As promised here is my (Brewer) final project video for one of my drafting classes. As I said in the episode it is far from perfect but a good starting point for something.

Here are some still renders. The scene is a stock one that I found. I did not have time to do anything that good then but I did edit it. Click for a bigger image.

Final

the two below are from previous project that made a cameo in this one

Final2

B24_small

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 27

This episode will fall near the top in a list of sexiest Bored Shenanigans episodes. It is nearing Valentines Day (shut up and just go with it) so it’s all about love here, except for the parts of the show that aren’t. If that’s not enough of a tease does the phrase Swiss Cheese Pervert do anything for you?

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 27: B.S. Loves You 

Also Cody brings us some, as he calls it, more important news. You be the judge of that are debt ceilings, lead smelting, and education standards lowering more important than girls named Sexy, dumb coffee, and perverts with cheese.

Late…ntines Day

I realize that this post is far too late for Valentine’s Day. It was meant to be posted early, yet at posting it looks closer to almost being a week tardy. I would make apologies for such; but, fuck that I wanted to stay this. 

I know that I am a flawed specimen. I hold no infinite knowledge nor amazing insights. Personal shortcomings notwithstanding, I was asked what my best decision was. When asked I could not help but think of the multitude of good choices I have made have orbited around my wife. From deciding to talk to her for the first time to asking her to dinner that time to pursuing her to asking her to marry me. Those have been some of the smartest moves I have ever made. I believe only those who have experienced that depth of feeling and sheer fascination with another human being can appreciate it when I say this. You know who you are, those of you currently enraptured with a someone in whom you literally place your entire self. To put it simply, when She and I are together, We feel bad ass. We feel invincible.  It is a primal and visceral feeling of need and compassion and desire.That is what Valentine’s Day is meant to be. A celebration of that level of love and commitment. It is more than some lame flowers and a half-ass’d card. It is beyond candy and stuffed animals. It is a reason to embrace that devotion shown and set some time aside to enjoy it.

Also, get your grandma or mother a little something. She did deal with all your shit, a little something will remind her you care.

 

Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

BS To Go 003: Going For Broke

The wait is over America, Brent returns with Cody as they philosophize over porn, pro athletes pay checks, and a the state of our demographic. So roll up your sleeves and enjoy a hearty helping of BS to go!

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Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 24

I don’t care to right anything here… if you like us listen if you don’t listen anyways.
Teaser someone in this episode is named Emanuel Westinghouse the other drops some Hip-Hop Beats on yo’ foolz.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans. 

Welcome to Episode 24: We Honestly Quit Caring 

Hey Look A Distraction!

I’ve got 99 problems but a badass podcast ain’t one

If you’re having to use some one else’s domain name I feel bad for you son

We have this ‘cast thing down to pure science

So good we can do it with our eyes closed

Critics of good taste say we are too intense
We advocate truth and free speech, of course we will make foes
If you don’t feel that way, then fuck off we aren’t for you
We came to distribute the free thought and the free funny
Yes, We are the BS crew
We do this because we like it, we make zero money
So send us some hatemail or eat our soup
We are irreverent in all the right ways
Or listen to how low in the gutter our topics will stoop
So tune in on Mondays and give us a play
Surely it is the best way to download some fun

I got 99 problems but a badass podcast ain’t one

So we realize that we are late. New domain names do not solve all problems, hell would it be a BS production if it were not rifled with technical difficulties? New content is on it’s way, the episode will be up as soon as we fight off the Kraken and Rancor of the new feed. Nothing should change for you but a better Bored Shenanigans experience, we will remain on itunes and will soon be in the windows store and on the android app ‘podcast addict.’ Plus very soon you can wear and stick symbols of your favorite cast in places to cover places. Sorry for the big promises and the delays, but hang in their rouges gallery, hang in there ‘guy driving in his car’ hang in there good people of Podcastlandia. We are coming to you very soon.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 22

We are opening Vault Shenanigans for another episode that never made it out when we intended it to. If you listen you will here us say why but it short we lost the first few bits of audio so we do a dramatic reenactment of what actually happen, for real, no joke, this is fact and true with truth. CiCi and Madison are here in the studio and boy howdy is it grand.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.     

Welcome to Episode 22: The Good, the Bad, and the Rest

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 12

I knew this podcast was trouble when it walked in the door. It had that look in it’s eye like it wanted to be a home wrecker. As it approached me, I could sense that it wanted to eat my soup. When it spoke, I knew that the shenanigans it had in mind could surely get us both killed. The stench of tobacco and cheap bourbon hung heavy in the room, as the podcast continued to cast, I could see the rabbit it was chasing would end in nothing more than high stakes deal for the heroes involved. It would have grimacing detectives dropping in on beaver-cleaverville and letting their thought bubbles hanging darkly. Darkly like the crime that haunts our once fair city. The cast had definite proof that the Bored Shenanigans rouges gallery could all play cliche parts in a noir film. Proof, I will believe proof when I see it. Join us now for Cast Me Deadly

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Stay loaded for Bored Shenanigans.     

Watch your Back in Episode 12: Cast Me Deadly

Also November 9 is Carl Sagan Day so do something sciencey!
There is Hate Mail again so see the show notes.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 10

I have no clue about what the title means…. Anyhoo, In a world were Muppets are darker and more edgy, were distance is measured in gnomes, one man, Chad, dares to defy Batman to track down Le Loyon, mystifying monster of Switzerland’s forest. When not on the chase he has a lustful encounter with a mysterious woman in the front seat of his car.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.     

Welcome to Episode 10: BS Fail Redo

There are show notes isn’t that dandy.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 08

This episode is restless in more ways than one. No and the rest first off and Brewer and Cody tell the tail of when Cody did not sleep for over 116 hours. Also, Brewer finally succumbs to his own self imposed power and goes nuts at the beginning. We spend time talking directly to some members of our audience culminating in the fantasy that our listeners reference the B.S. Crew in the sexual fantasies.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.     

Welcome to Episode 8: sleepy sleepy no sleep

Also, sorry that this is later on Monday than it normally is there were things crashing last night. So I had to redo a large part of the work on getting the episode cut together and did not have the heart to do it at 4 am. Plus quit your bitching it is still Monday I haven’t lied to you yet. I don’t count this as the first late release.

One more thing I don’t know if you noticed but there is a new tab titled Show Notes. That is where things like links to articles or videos, that we end up talking about in that episode, will go if they aren’t just general Links of Interest.

Who Knows?

Do any of us really have a clue? Honestly? This is meant with the utmost sincerity and conviction, not as some depressed rambling of hopelessness. It is understood that there are devotions that will not yield. Loves and commitments that cannot be moved. Those unwavering absolutes and beliefs that in the face of unholiest of fires and to the goddamn end of the earth will not be relocated. We all possess such passions. But beyond those select few extremes, does anybody really know? We wrap ourselves in the cloaks of common sense and best case scenarios. We freely exchange the inclination of knowledge, yet this currency holds little value. These are the convenient walls that we have erected to shield us from the reality. That reality is, that we are all just as lost as one another. Leaders leading without any idea of the destination, followers bumbling along within the mirage of ‘the plan’. At the heart of the matter, we all know. We all know how full of shit we all really are. In spite of what miraculous theories humanity proposes, no one has any real answers or solutions. That my dear reader is the essence of man’s existence. The universal truth beyond reproach, “If you cannot astound them with intellect, baffle them with bullshit.”