Cody’s Most Embarrassing Moment

A bet is a bet. For those of you who haven’t listened to Episode 110 of the Bored Shenanigans Podcast(Available via iTunes, Stitcher and this very website), a wager was made on the last episode. The details are in the episode but I, Cody Jemes lost. In doing so, had to publish an article retelling my most embarrassing moment. It is hard to imagine how such could exist.In co-hosting an online talk show for almost three years, I have revealed many shameful truths that long time listeners are too bashful to recall. I have retold many a tale of my face palming failings and moments of unfiltered stupidity. Those are mere child’s play to what I have for you here. Without further ado, Bored Shenanigans presents Cody’s Most Embarrassing Moment.

Let me take you back to a simpler time. A time before smart phones and reliable wifi signals. A time before tablets and net books. A time when one was forced to download their desired media onto a hard drive if they wanted to take it with them. A time when bulky laptops occupied college students back packs and their battery life was paltry at best. Now in these bygone days of yore, I was a full time overnight employee and a full time college student. I drifted in and out of poor decisions with great regularity, but truly on this day I would out do myself.

The campus I went to opened at seven AM around the time I was finishing my overnight shift. I would often arrive right as the doors opened and the halls were often quite vacant. On this particular day, I felt a need to release some tension before my classes and I secured a safe spot in the men’s room. After some quick reconnaissance work I realized that I was truly alone. I was a man alone with just his lust and downloaded library of erotic entertainment. What could possibly go wrong?  I set up my station, selected my finest adult video, plugged in my headphones and began to enjoy myself. As things escalated and intensified I proceeded with the normal course of action. My fatal flaw was the volume of the video overpowered the volume of my surroundings.

Whilst I was engaged with myself I didn’t hear a knock on the door of the cleaning woman. I certainly didn’t hear her ask if the bathroom was empty. More importantly than that, I was so overcome with my initial desire, I neglected to close the stall door. All these thing culminated in a quick and sorrowful turn of events. As I looked up I saw this poor woman, having just discovered me mid coitus with myself. She exclaimed “Sorry” as I violently shuffled to hide my shame. My laptop crashed to the ground, my headphones pulled out to reveal the sounds of hardcore pornography, I struggled to gather my belongings and my dignity in a losing effort while I vacated that bathroom.

After the woeful event I went and found a quiet corner to hid in my humiliation and in a futile attempt to collect myself. The cornucopia of poor judgments overflowed onto me with unrelenting ferocity. I was a moron. I tried as hard as I could to allow time to pass with some semblance of normalcy. I assumed my foolish behavior would be forgotten as there were only two witnesses.I thought things would be forgotten. Not so much.

I attended that college for two more years and would sporadically see the poor custodian who caught me in the act. I tried with all my might to avoid eye contact with her, but when her eyes found mine she would shake her head with disgust. There is no escape from chagrin so loathsome. To that woman, I am that harrowing tale of what to fear when walking into a men’s bathroom. In her eyes I am perpetually that slumped over pervert who was jacking it for all I was worth in the public restroom.

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast listen to more of his botches on iTunes and Stitcher. Read his not so self deprecating articles here. This deviant also writes poetry, see that here  or download his debauchery filled e-book hereBe sure heckle him on social media via Twitter or Facebook.

 

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 108


#RejectedSexPostion If this title alone isn’t enough for you to download this episode, I wonder what ever will be. We find this trending on Twitter and if ever there was a time that our talents and abilities were called upon, this is it. Also we dig deeper into the literary classic that is the Eye of Argon. Truly a fantastical and epic audio journey.
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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 107: #RejectedSexPositions

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 98-2

Happy September 16th dear listeners, On this anniversary of the founding of General Motors do we have a special episode for you. Find out the ins and outs of concealing your favorite pussy gun, learn which letters the hosts really hate and hear what happens what is in Grant’s tomb.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 98-2: Pussy Guns & Dead Presidents

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 93

Not only is this a Vault Shenanigans originally recorded in December of 2014 but Cody is the one the edited it. So you would think that he would be the one to do the episode description. But no it is me and I have not yet had a chance to hear it so I will make wild speculations about what happens in it.

Cody will get stuck on a sentence and it will make negative amounts of sense. We will find common ground between two apposing points. A recent headline makes us angry. The words “potted plants” will be used more than we ever imagined. We will find a striking similarity between a political leader and a glass of iced tea. A primordial evil will be called forth from outer darkness to claim the blood of the living by remnants of a once great forgotten ancient kingdom and we will have to be recalled to an orbital platform to protect mankind from that which it knows not.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 93: I dont know what this is…

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 81

So we talk about the new Mad Max and Independence Day and Bad Religion (the band that is. This isn’t one of those atheist heavy episodes). But what is most interesting is we find more of what I titled in the tags last week as “Internet Strangelove: or how I learn to Stop Judging and Jerk Off to the Porn”

This week we see Asian girls actually hobbing knobs and a boob buffet! And the return of everyone’s favorite themes song for everyone’s favorite B.S. segment Face/On. Which after this one there may never be another because I don’t think it could ever be topped.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 81: HOT KNOBS

Remember to check the show notes for all that we talked about so you to can see these things because we have not perfected beaming pictures into your brains via sound yet. Though through smell looks promising.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 71

It is sad. There it is.

Someone who inspired us, Monty Oum, at the time of recording this episode was in critical condition at the hospital. And now at the time of releasing this he has died.

You can look to the show notes for this episode to find the articles about this as well as some of his work.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.    

Welcome to Episode 71: The Full Monty

Also in this episode we show how similar we are to Hawkeye on M*A*S*H by covering up bad feelings with dirty jokes. Such as, what you do you prefer paper or cloth when it comes to cleaning up personal messes? The most wonderful product we have ever seen: the AutoBlow 2 and its fantastic marketing is discussed. Cody also wants to know what it is called when you are sexually attracted to plants.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast-Episode 70

The plague is going around the BS studios and your two humble hosts battle through the fog of sickness and staying out far too late to bring you something. Listen as we review movies that we have zero business reviewing and find new things to put on a popular deity.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 70- 

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 67

In the first episode recorded in the new year we try to do some beginning of the year cleaning of things we never got around to talking about. But just like everyone else when they try to clean, we do a little work and quit to play video games. Also since it is the first of the year we review the past one and make some predictions about the next one.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 67: Once and Future Podcast

And if that’s not enough to get you to download what if I said psychic butts and Unicorn genitalia

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 54

I don’t care if it vibrates or lubes
I want a blow up Jesus
sitting the desktop of my computer
It should come in colors from pink and pleasant
to glowing in the dark and iridescent
Travel sizes too so you can take it with you travel far
Get yourself a fuckable deity with all the features often needed
Browsing for the sexual Christ isn’t too scary
We can’t even find a sex doll of Virgin Mary
So maybe none of us will go to hell

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.    

Welcome to Episode 54: Sin City 2: You can’t fuck Jesus

Also, Brewer is the Greatest American Hero, Cody is not allowed to poop, and a gnaked girl is abducted by gnomes.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 47

You know how it is some days you are doing a podcast talking about the usual topics like 55 gallon drums of sex lube, our favorite Warner Bros cartoon character Quentin Tarantino, and creative cam girls then the next thing you know you are in the middle of a rest-full episode when Justin knocks on your window.  All the wile Orson Welles is confused and angry.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 47: Pullin’ in the Rest Stop

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 37

Oh my God, I feel so nauseous!
Please calm down.
How many? How many episodes have you made?
Let it go!
How many?
All right, shut up a second and I’ll tell you! Jesus!
Well?
Something like… 36.
What? Something like 36?
Lower your voice.
Wait, what is that anyway, something like 36? Does that INCLUDE this one!?
Ummm… 37.
This is 37!?

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.     

Welcome to Episode 37: HEY! HEY, YOU! GET BACK HERE!.

Like one of our favorite pairs of best friends we B.S. about the important and not so, about Cadbury eggs and Nicolas Cage, rising gods and noisy dogs, slash fiction and thought experiments.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 36

Holy B.S.? More like wholly bs! Yeah, I am sorry that joke exists now in the world too… What I was trying to say was it was recorded on Good Friday. But don’t fret that doesn’t stop us from telling dirty jokes and talk about movies. Also a sexy study, Cody double the date night, and Brewer finally finishes Final Fantasy XIII franchise.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.     

Welcome to Episode 36: Even better Monday

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 32

Our dreams of this being the most gay episode to date fall short from missed placed hype. Cody gives us his review of the kid’s movie Frozen while Brewer hits the opposite end of the road with his review of Zardoz. We talk about the death of Fred Phelps but it might not be how you would think. Then the tails of filling things with things starts which leads us to meandering about our thoughts like old men.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.     

Welcome to Episode 32: Labeling Stuff in Our Brains 

Also some where in there is a Chad story and the B.S. Random Question Game Show!

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 30

http://archive.org/download/boredshenanigans/BS_ep030.mp3%20

HI! I’m an episode! You can hear me! I’m doing the description this time! I talk about weird mascots. And people that died. And touching art. And sports things. And old news. And were you can buy cakes. And who you can marry. And feelings on ending games or books. And all the things I normally talk about.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 30: Have an Episode 

Descriptions are hard! And Happy Saint Patrick’s Day!

BS To Go 003: Going For Broke

The wait is over America, Brent returns with Cody as they philosophize over porn, pro athletes pay checks, and a the state of our demographic. So roll up your sleeves and enjoy a hearty helping of BS to go!

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Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 22

We are opening Vault Shenanigans for another episode that never made it out when we intended it to. If you listen you will here us say why but it short we lost the first few bits of audio so we do a dramatic reenactment of what actually happen, for real, no joke, this is fact and true with truth. CiCi and Madison are here in the studio and boy howdy is it grand.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.     

Welcome to Episode 22: The Good, the Bad, and the Rest

That Time of Year

Alas, we have all survived the holiday frenzy that is the Christmas rush. You may have braved the box stores on Black Friday, you may have fought your way through the hordes of last minute shoppers, or you may have wisely planned out your X-Mas shopping all year long. Whatever the case may be, you have endured and arrived at the day. Kick back and relish in your victory. While you are relishing, remember to take a moment to send your thoughts, good vibes, well wishes and prayers to those who cannot be with their families. I know this message is beaten to death this time of year, but it is the goddamn holidays so just do it.

So as we move forward from one season toward another, maybe we can take a token of the manufactured holiday charity we are force fed and apply it. I don’t expect any of you to go forth and save the world or anything, but perhaps just try a be a little better version of yourself. Whether it is the clichéd New Year’s resolution or just a personal goal to cover up that horrendous halitosis it is defiantly achievable.  Here at Bored Shenanigans, we would like to thank all of our listeners for their support, all of our rouges gallery for their participation and last but not least I would like to thank the almighty technical adviser and editor for his tireless effort making our jackassery sound mildly intelligent . We are striving to bring you a better and more classy Bored Shenanigans experience, you know with bigger tits, twice as many explosions and more fucks than you can shake a stick at.  Stay tuned for new developments and remember to keep your mistletoe hung this holiday season.

 

Cody Jemes  is the head writer of the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Need more of him and don’t know where to look? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at  Texas Fandom, leave snarky comments on his  poetry blog or if tired of reading? Listen to the podcast he co -hosts.  

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 19

You seeing us undressed makes us want to Johnfinger. So we did it again. That is got naked. Well, we johnfingered too. Anyhoo, There has been a wedding in the B.S. Family. Also we get angry about nothing important. Chad makes an appearance. We take Vegas by storm then by elevator.  And we learn there is a lot of truth in (Pulp) Fiction and in Kevin Smith’s new move Tusk.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.     

Welcome to Episode 19: Live Nudes 2: Live Nude-er

Also Brewer Officially announces running for President of Hollywood!  So support him at your local polling stations.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 08

This episode is restless in more ways than one. No and the rest first off and Brewer and Cody tell the tail of when Cody did not sleep for over 116 hours. Also, Brewer finally succumbs to his own self imposed power and goes nuts at the beginning. We spend time talking directly to some members of our audience culminating in the fantasy that our listeners reference the B.S. Crew in the sexual fantasies.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.     

Welcome to Episode 8: sleepy sleepy no sleep

Also, sorry that this is later on Monday than it normally is there were things crashing last night. So I had to redo a large part of the work on getting the episode cut together and did not have the heart to do it at 4 am. Plus quit your bitching it is still Monday I haven’t lied to you yet. I don’t count this as the first late release.

One more thing I don’t know if you noticed but there is a new tab titled Show Notes. That is where things like links to articles or videos, that we end up talking about in that episode, will go if they aren’t just general Links of Interest.