We interrupt your regularly scheduled Carl Sagan Day with an Election

It is November 9th and that usually indicates the annual post of it being Carl Sagan Day. But in the light, or lack there of, of resent events and this years political landscape as a whole I am Canceling Carl Sagan Day do to a lack of critical thinking, rationality, and skepticism.

But here is a link to the first years, and here is a link to the second years

“I worry that, especially as the Millennium edges nearer, pseudo-science and superstition will seem year by year more tempting, the siren song of unreason more sonorous and attractive. Where have we heard it before? Whenever our ethnic or national prejudices are aroused, in times of scarcity, during challenges to national self-esteem or nerve, when we agonize about our diminished cosmic place and purpose, or when fanaticism is bubbling up around us-then, habits of thought familiar from ages past reach for the controls. The candle flame gutters. Its little pool of light trembles. Darkness gathers. The demons begin to stir.”

This is not just because of our new president elect but also because of all candidates that made it this far and, particularly, the way it was all handle by the public. Credulity abounded at all sides and when someone finally says the truth it is lost in the chants of rhetoric (which a great leader once said “judge a man by his action not his rhetoric”).

“One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.”

Setting aside all policies, Trump would make statement the would challenge the most skilled of contortionist by putting his foot in his mouth while his head was up his ass and gazing at his own navel, patting himself on the back and shrugging all at once. But were, you or I to do that it would be a failing of character but for him it is quote “him telling it like it is” even though the numbers don’t support that. PolitiFact, love or hate them, has evaluated 331 claims by Trump. 70% were found mostly false, false, or pants on fire. Compared to Clinton’s 293 with 26% being some level of false or Obama’s over the course of 8years 596 also at 26% false. This is not an endorsement of them being better choices it is more condemning the lack of accountability or more aptly the wanting there to be and willingness to accept accountability on the claims he made. Johnson and Sanders were nailed to the wall for not being able to back up there more outlandish claims.

“We’ve arranged a global civilization in which the most crucial elements — transportation, communications, and all other industries; agriculture, medicine, education, entertainment, protecting the environment; and even the key democratic institution of voting, profoundly depend on science and technology. We have also arranged things so that almost no one understands science and technology. This is a prescription for disaster. We might get away with it for a while, but sooner or later this combustible mixture of ignorance and power is going to blow up in our faces.”

Scientific American got a list of 20 “refined by a group of scientific institutions representing more than 10 million scientists and engineers” and graded the 4 major candidates with 5 being the most points that could be award (one question was not graded because it was on immigration and they felt if was outside the scope of the magazine to pass judgment on that topic) for a total of 95 points. The scores are as follows Trump 07; Clinton 64; Johnson 30; Stein 44. Now it is not a requirement for a leader to also be phd in the sciences but in a complicated world of climate change, vaccine denialism, and growing reliance on the STEM field it should be a requirement to understand the scientific processes and hold respect for it.

“Those who seek power at any price detect a societal weakness, a fear that they can ride into office. It could be ethnic differences, as it was then [Alien and Sedition Acts], perhaps different amounts of melanin in the skin; different philosophies or religions; or maybe it’s drug use, violent crime, economic crisis, school prayer, or ‘desecrating’ (literally, making unholy) the flag. Whatever the problem, the quick fix is to shave a little freedom off the Bill of Rights.”

Everyone was wiped into a state where the prevailing moods were fear, hatred, adulation, and orgiastic triumph. They all wanted this. Everyone of them. And we all felt it. Trump wanted you to fear and hate foreigners. Clinton wanted it to be Trump. Johnson wanted you to fear government. Sanders the wealthy. Stein…. um… well…. I don’t know want she want… I did not pay that much attention to her… Lets just say it was novelty welcome mats she wants us to fear. It became an election about negatives and differences. No one wanted to lead they wanted to win. So reason had to take a back seat.

“Education on the value of free speech and the other freedoms reserved by the Bill of Rights, about what happens when you don’t have them, and about how to exercise and protect them, should be an essential prerequisite for being an American citizen — or indeed a citizen of any nation, the more so to the degree that such rights remain unprotected. If we can’t think for ourselves, if we’re unwilling to question authority, then we’re just putty in the hands of those in power. But if the citizens are educated and form their own opinions, then those in power work for us. In every country, we should be teaching our children the scientific method and the reasons for a Bill of Rights. With it comes a certain decency, humility and community spirit. In the demon-haunted world that we inhabit by virtue of being human, this may be all that stands between us and the enveloping darkness.”

Carl Sagan mainly stuck to science and skepticism in his writing and tried to inspire a sense of wonderment in the grand future we could have. But occasionally he would turn the themes of critical thinking towards politics and the best example I can think of is his book ‘Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark‘. (Which I have it on good authority if you google it followed by ‘pdf’ you can find it to read for free). Now, sadly I have not reread it recently so I can’t call this a full BS Adult Book Report but for this special purpose I should be fine. If you are going to read one book from Carl Sagan or on the topic of skepticism or science communication this is the one. In it he goes through how we know what we know in science and more importantly how to detect when someone is trying to deceive us with false science. It also talks about why people are willing to believe in weird things and how they get deceived and not in a negative way. A basic primer on skepticism. It, though prone to tangents at times, is not written for a science major or someone in the deep end of skeptic moment. It is for the beginner and has enough topics for you to find one of interest for you. But also, he takes the time to explain why all of it is important, not just personally, but to a nation and world as a whole and that is were the political and social studies comes from. In it he speaks highly of the Founding Fathers particularly Thomas Jefferson, Constitution, and Bill of Rights. He thinks leaders should be intelligent and the citizens should be even more so and I can’t disagree with that. He also thinks our freedom our constantly under the assault of be removed, either by those seeking power for powers sake or by those seeking to profit through tricking us, I also cant disagree with that. And his solution is simple and obvious after all of this: just be aware.

We have failed Carl Sagan. We are letting the candle burn out and the cold, unforgiving dark creep in. People are distrusting science and letting the comforting myths of old sink in. It is almost a joke but there are people in the first world that believe in a flat earth and there is no excuse for that. The “religion of nationalism” has taken holed were a political party is more important than political good. But there is time turn back. And we can’t predict the future. Maybe it is not as bad as it seems and we will have a great next 4 years. Only time will tell. Maybe it was all a ploy to shine a light on how easy it is to be deceived (please, please let it be that…..) I will leave with a few more quotes from Demon-Haunted World that I find appropriate but could not find a place for otherwise. 

“I have a foreboding of an America in my children’s or grandchildren’s time — when the United States is a service and information economy; when nearly all the manufacturing industries have slipped away to other countries; when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues; when the people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or knowledgeably question those in authority; when, clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what’s true, we slide, almost without noticing, back into superstition and darkness…”

“When we consider the founders of our nation: Jefferson, Washington, Samuel and John Adams, Madison and Monroe, Benjamin Franklin, Tom Paine and many others; we have before us a list of at least ten and maybe even dozens of great political leaders. They were well educated. Products of the European Enlightenment, they were students of history. They knew human fallibility and weakness and corruptibility. They were fluent in the English language. They wrote their own speeches. They were realistic and practical, and at the same time motivated by high principles. They were not checking the pollsters on what to think this week. They knew what to think. They were comfortable with long-term thinking, planning even further ahead than the next election. They were self-sufficient, not requiring careers as politicians or lobbyists to make a living. They were able to bring out the best in us. They were interested in and, at least two of them, fluent in science. They attempted to set a course for the United States into the far future — not so much by establishing laws as by setting limits on what kinds of laws could be passed. The Constitution and its Bill of Rights have done remarkably well, constituting, despite human weaknesses, a machine able, more often than not, to correct its own trajectory.”

Ryan S. Brewer is the co-host and editor of the Bored Shenanigans podcast (when he releases one) available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of Brewer’s Shitty Writing very sporadically here or as episode descriptions. Also he has nothing else to enjoy anywhere else, but you can find Cody’s poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or the Faceyspace. 

The Four Dollar Pamphlet

overpriced2

Fuck you, Michael de Bethencourt. Fuck you for calling Thirty Eight Tips For Better Snub Shooting a book.  Fuck you for not mentioning anywhere within that it is for new shooters. Fuck you for offering sparse technique, while still having an introduction talking about your skills and qualifications for writing such a pamphlet.

I don’t claim to know everything about shooting, if I did why would I purchase this literature? As a competent shooter looking to improve skills and hone the discipline of my defensive weapon, I expected more out of this. It spent more time on firearm and holster choices than on tactics. I wanted sight alignment tips, hand placement suggestions. Outside of an excellent page on reloading under stress, this was a terrible disappointment. All of the information in this booklet could have easily been found online. Thanks to a few videos from Jerry Miculek and Tom Gresham, I actually got the information I was seeking.

I tried to be objective about this, but as recommended as the author came I couldn’t help but be annoyed. I’m believe that my next foray into this type of information will be from the likes of Ed McGivern or Ed Lovette who actually offer true advice. I should have been more wary, but somehow I still have a naive hope when it comes to the firearms community. I suppose from here on out, I’ll have to be far more selective. It surprises me how small the selection of things for those trying to move from intermediate toward expert. I just wanted to get real tips on trigger control and increase my accuracy on follow up shots, but instead I wasted my time and money.

Moral of the story, pick your advice and educators with more care. Remember that book apparently is open to interpretation. Remember that just because you enjoy a certain hub of information doesn’t mean you will not get conned. Remember that just because something comes from a website called snubtraining.com, doesn’t mean it will offer any skills on snub nose revolvers. Most importantly remember, fuck Michael de Bethencourt, because he’ll charge you four dollars for a pamphlet.

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

The Importance of Being Earnest Review

earnest

 

Oscar Wilde is a stellar wordsmith. I knew after reading The Picture of Dorian Gray, I wanted to read more of his works. This play satirizes Victorian England’s social norms by having two friends exchange lives and experiences under the pseudonym of Earnest. This play is praised for the comedy and trivial nature and has been brought to the stage many, many times. It is often considered to be Wilde’s masterwork.

This play doesn’t take itself very seriously, which makes it hard to complain too much about it. The language was easy to follow and fun. It did mindless things written in a compelling way. It was obvious through the text that the author enjoyed himself a great deal while writing this story. He truly enjoyed the characters, he created and wanted the reader/ viewer to do the same.

I wouldn’t categorize this as the greatest piece of literature I’ve ever read. It was mediocre in parts and felt a little flat, but I wouldn’t characterize it as a waste of time.  I didn’t regret the time I spent reading it. I realize this isn’t a heaping endorsement of praise, but it didn’t make me wish I had read something else. I appreciated it enough, but I don’t think my life would be incomplete by never reading it again.

I understand that reading a play isn’t the best way to get a feel for a story. Certain parts can be much more memorable by seeing a great actor or actress carry them out on stage. With that thought though, I’ve never seen King Lear as a play, but I’ve read that several times and have been entertained by it every time.  I would like to see this tale as it was intended to be viewed. Perhaps then I’ll come around on it, giving it a glowing endorsement. Until such time, “okay” is as good a review as I can give it.

If this is your introduction to Oscar Wilde, you can do better. If you’ve seen the play and need more of it, or just want a lighthearted and somewhat air-headed story written in a compelling way, this is the book for you. Otherwise, I would I would recommend The Picture of Dorian Gray or House of Pomegranates over this. Either way, only someone as talented as this author can make something so mundane, seem so interesting.

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book here.

 

 

 

 

 

3rd Party, Please Don’t Fuck This Up

3rd

Holy shit, another option. Holy shit, the Libertarians are actually being mentioned outside of chat rooms and their own circles. Holy shit Gary Johnson and Bob Weld are polling at eleven percent in national polls. Holy shit, the citizens are looking for choices outside of the GOP and DNC. Holy shit, I hope these two make a good showing and open up an express lane for others to campaign and be taken seriously.

I am actively advocating something to disrupt the establishment and push for liberty. We need a mindset change in this country. We have been mired in the left or right paradigm for far too long. The current mainstream candidates appeal to the lowest common denominator and only offer the illusion of choice. Whether the Democrats or Republicans win this election, we will end up in another war, we will have more laws passed that limit freedoms and the national debt will only rise. This things will negatively impact all of us. The people not politicians will be forced to reap the consequences.

Americans need this shift in the political spectrum. They need to see an alternative to the status quo to care again. I just want to liberty to prevail and people to actually be able to chose what works for them. I desperately want the third party to make a good showing this election, so people will stop choosing lesser evils and start moving towards good. Something to uproot career politicians whose only real goal is to stay in power and continue to exist comfortably. So many people are so vocal about how broken the system is, yet they refuse to hear any voice outside of what is easiest.

I plead with you, third party do not fuck this up. The Perot campaign in 1992 is the last time anyone took something different, seriously. We need this to work, we need this to do well and most of all, we need you to not abandon your principles for the sake of fitting in. Candor and truth stand tallest in the forest of mistruths and lies, so please just tread lightly and act with some civility so you don’t ruin fringe candidacy for the next guy.

 

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book here.

 

 

 

 

Bored Shenanigans Podcast-Episode 70

The plague is going around the BS studios and your two humble hosts battle through the fog of sickness and staying out far too late to bring you something. Listen as we review movies that we have zero business reviewing and find new things to put on a popular deity.

Download

 

Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 70- 

BS To Go 007: Half and Half Lite

http://archive.org/download/BSToGo/BS-2-GO_007.mp3%20

Holy Shit! Cody is here to bring you a monumental amount of filibustering. No Brewer here to distract from the important and vital issues at hand. Hear him rank things and tell select stories in this BS to go Lite. Down one host but we persevere and bring you this tasty, tasty content.

Get this bag of amazing goodness here…download

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 61

Find out why things have been so hectic last week. Yesterday was Carl Sagan Day and we talk about all the things we did for it. The voting is done see how your favorite team did. Snakes are going missing and only we have the skills to make puns about it. Brewers writing a self help book on podcasting and Cody does not know when to stop talking sexy.

Download 

Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.    

Welcome to Episode 61: … or hardly working

Year One

I have been reflecting quite a lot upon what I have learned with this podcast in this first year. It seems as though we have most certainly covered some of our favorite memories and moments yet there is more than just that. With lack of better ways of stating it, I love doing this shit.  Hell I know I speak for both of us when I say that We love doing this shit. All the time, all the sacrifices, and all the the tedium is pretty inconsequential when you are looking back at the one year mark.

Don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been all roses.  I have gotten confused about audio software more than once and Brewer has to explain it to me. There have been multiple instances where we have had some fantastic idea and it morphed into something even more ridiculous and grandiose only to be forgotten before it is time to record.  Our scheduled date has fallen through and we have to come up with content on the fly more than once. Plus there have been more than a few moments when we truly get under the other’s skin. Stacking this teetering pile of ideas and agenda into  an outlet to be heard has not always been easy.

 

Often times we have been much too involved in the here and now to appreciate the journey, but what a goddamn fun journey it has been. I rarely feel this level of pride in something I have participated in. This has been both cathartic and a method of self improvement. Being able to open up and share some of my thoughts  has certainly served as a method to reevaluate what is worth worrying about. Often times I feel like my best conversations are shared with our illustrious listening audience. They have listened to me cackle until I was going to vomit and get riled up to the point of wanting to spit. You have laughed at my expense as I have been unable to expel a coherent though and hopefully once in a while I have managed a thought or two that has made you think.

All things considered, this has been one fun year and We owe it to our rouges gallery, our subscribers, our casual listeners and of course our vehement dissenters. BS appreciates you all and promises to continue to be bigger, better, faster and more inappropriate as we meander into the future.

 

 

Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 52

The boys are on duty tonight making sure you know whats what. They have a contest with a very special girl, Destiny. Tell you all about a new show that they think is going to be pimp. And talk about what and how they would hit it.

Download

What up Bitches!!!!

Check dis Episode 52: The Brew and C-Dog Show

Also check out one of their favorite clubbing songs.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 49

We bring you the very best of Amsterdam from its companions to its bondage shops to its banana bars. Also German tradition and their fascination with weather preparation and remember when they start WWIII use the best weapon for fighting them: Spicy. But until then just do as the Majorious one would and drink with 15 year old girls.

Download

Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.    

Welcome to Episode 49: The Rise and Fall of The Third Rest: Part 2

5 Songs That Matter Most

Music matters to everyone. We all have those songs that take us back to our youth or to a specific place in our lives. A majestic art that can make us feel everything so deeply and on an almost subatomic level. That being said, I bring to you not only my five favorite pieces of music, but those that mean the most to me. So ready yourselves to disagree as Rank This! Presents Cody’s 5 Songs that Matter most.

5-Fuck Authority– Pennywise
This is a nostalgia choice for me. This is off of their Land of the Free? album and was my first exposure to anything called punk rock. This was my gateway drug into the world of three cords and do it yourself ethos that inhabit a large majority of my musical choice. Before this track, it never occurred to me that you could say this kind of stuff in a song. It opened my eyes to what self expression means and that the rules are merely what you make of them. I love this song as much now as the first time I heard it. A rebellious song that puts it all on front street and challenges the listener to make a change for the better. All in all a fantastic track.

4-God’s Love-Bad Religion 
The most recent choice on the list, this is a song I found a few years ago. This is a song that struck me at a time when I was exploring my own spirituality. God’s Love does a fantastic job of satirically yet insightfully examining one’s faith, especially in the realm of Christianity. I know this will never make a top ten list for Bad Religion songs, but being a big fan of theirs, this song just does it for me.

3-Where Eagles Dare– The Misfits
Let me be clear so there is no confusion, The Misfits are the greatest band of all time. They are far and away my favorite musical choice and cannot stop listening to them and enjoying their work. That being out of the way, Where Eagles Dare is my chosen song of their catalog. This was certainly the hardest pick for me, as I deeply enjoy so much of their music. The chorus of this song makes it, balancing the right amount of fuck you attitude with power to back it up. This song is a perfect manifestation of the horror imagery The Misfits built their legacy upon. A superior song from a phenomenal band.

2-All Apologies-Nirvana
This song is so good it almost physically hurts. Nirvana was such a deeply talented band with some real gems in their albums ,but this is the one I have to choose. Another song I found as a confused loner kid it has managed to grow with me through the years. Covering a large gamete of emotion in a single track, you follow the journey and feel it with every note. This is a necessary song for all humanity, without it who knows where we would be?

1-Paint it Black-Rolling Stones
As far as I am concerned, this is the perfect song. I really have little affinity for the Rolling Stones, but there is some kind of sorcery in this piece. A masterwork of musical arts, this one just never gets old to me. Haunting and beautiful you find yourself at one with the universe when this song plays. It reverberates the frustration and fear of the universe in a few brief moments. A classic in every sense of the word, this my friends is music.

 

Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 43

We here at Bored Shenanigans feel that we have not been doing our part to in society. So, in this episode, we propose an idea that will raise the populace’s vocabulary and strengthen communication.

 

Download

Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.    

Welcome to Episode 43: Jesus’ Cunt

We also show you our literary boners, Brewer bests Cody at quoting Star Wars, Cody learns about many different types of spinning things, and CHAD shows us the proper use for Doritos.

Product of Your Enviroment

Things bunch up. They combine together to form a gluttonous beast bent on devouring us into the bedlam and chaos. The best laid plans and the kindest of intentions often find themselves lost amid this hellish creature. When confronted by such dragons needing to be slain, remember that you control your own destiny.

If the breeding ground of procrastination and hap hazard schemes has you surrounded, move. Constant entrenchment against co-workers, classmates, neighbors, will take a nasty toll upon us  and should be dealt with accordingly. Habitats of tension and malcontent tend to keep us from our better nature and most certainly keep our achievements less than stellar.

On the other hand, if one makes a genuine effort to control their own dominion in a positive manner and tries to do the same as they travel into the world, surely they will have a marked advantage.

Mostly what I am saying is if someone has cultivated a culture that is positive, don’t be the self-righteous ass wipe who fucks it up for everyone. Also, if you find yourself mired in a cancerous surrounding with little to no hope of things finding a more enjoyable and productive path, get out of there. Whether this entails you escaping it or changing it, you must do what is necessary. Wherever one hangs their hat directly reflects upon them, so if you find yourself shifting eyes side to side to find some type of redeeming quality maybe it is time?

 

Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This! and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

 

Failed Potential Movie Sequels Part 2

Failed Potential Movie Sequels Returns

We return with a vengeance to bring you the beginning of the list. Without further hullabaloo, here is number 15 to number 1 of our Rank This! movie sequel list.

15-Addams Family Values

This sequel fell so flat. Pancake level flat. Anjelica Houston and Raul Julia reprise their roles as Morticia and Gomez, but this film’s unrelenting desire to make Uncle Fester a comedy relief character runs this film aground.

 14-Fantastic Four: Rise of The Silver Surfer

Well this was the chance for redemption after that abortion of a first film. Sweet hell, this was not it. Blundering their way through the introduction of Silver Surfer and making Galactus a big, glowy cloud really made me regret seeing this movie. 

13-Tremors Sequels(All of them)

Sweet fuck, just stop. The first film was more fun than any movie about giant worms has any right to be. It was sort of call back to the creature feature genre and had a cast of characters you rooted for. Then they just kept making terrible, ponderous films about tunneling worms of death.

12-Mission Impossible 2

The first Mission Impossible was a complex spy film that made the audience think and wonder what Ethan Hunt’s next move would be. The sequel was directed by John Woo and has explosions, motorcycle races, giant explosions, and doves gracefully flying amid gun battles. Not what I had hoped for by any stretch of the imagination. A dumb action film that should have been a tight spy thriller. 

11-2010: The Year We Made Contact

Stanley Kubrick set the bar pretty high. I don’t know that this film ever had a real chance of touching that one. But the director tries so hard to do Kubrickian things and it doesn’t resonate. This is apparent in the ending most of all, which ends simply and leaves the audience craving more, especially after how the first film looked into the mystery of space. 

10-Shrek 2

Shrek turns into a human and donkey turns into a horse. He wants to win back Fiona and wacky antics ensue…..Next!

9-Aladdin 2: Return of Jafar

220px-Returnofjafar

Maybe this is nostalgia leaking in here. I used to really like Aladdin. It was one of my favorite Disney pictures, having more adventure than most of its peers. The sequel was bad. Really bad, rehashing  a lackluster villain in a lackluster revenge plot. Oh and Robin Williams doesn’t play the Genie and it is  painfully obvious. 

8-Pirates of Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

The first film was so perfect. It set us all up for a franchise of  staggering escapades and did so much to make us like Jack Sparrow. Then this happened and it snowballed into a half-ass’d snooze fest that seemed unable to grasp any of the mystique of the predecessor. 

7-Batman Returns

Why do people like this movie? Other than a top-notch Catwoman, what is good here? I understand the impact and revolution in the first flick, but this was horrendous. Tim Burton created so much atmosphere and scenery, the cast couldn’t help but chew it. Without Christopher Nolan’s trilogy, people would assume that this tripe is Batman.

6-Caddyshack 2

195px-Caddyshack_ii

What is there to say? You take a legendary comedy film’s sequel and insult the audience with it. This film could easily be under a dictionary heading under terrorism.

5-Butterfly Effect 2

190px-Butterflyeffect2dvd

I don’t think the writer of this had ever seen the original. It is Butterfly Effect in name only. The first one was so good, this one was poorly made, poorly acted, and I was dumb enough to take the bait and watch it. I want my time back.

4-Matrix Revolutions

Okay, Reloaded had problems. It did, but this is where the string was pulled and the series unraveled completely apart. Constantly trying to mind fuck us for no real reason, this film plodded along and ended with a standard fare Zion standoff and an unearned ‘what if ‘ending. I wish I had taken the blue pill instead.

3-The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

220px-The_Mummy_-_Tomb_of_the_Dragon_Emperor (1)

Here it is, this is why I did this list. The first Mummy wasn’t Citizen Kane or anything. It had its problems, but it was fun. It was a loving tribute to The Mummy’s Tomb and Curse of the Mummy’s Hand. It was a great return to a much forgotten monster. I really enjoyed it and do so more upon repeated viewings. The Mummy Returns was not good and neither was the Scorpion King. This should have been awesome, taking the series to a new land and culture with the Terracotta Army and Chinese Emperor’s undead. This could have at least been a diet version of Indiana Jones. They screwed this up so bad and made it just another forgettable action flick and wasting so much potential.

2-Star Wars: Attack of the Clones

Star_Wars_-_Episode_II_Attack_of_the_Clones_(movie_poster)

This is the worst of the prequels and I will not be swayed otherwise. Even with boring podraces and Jar Jar, Phantom Menace was still watchable. Darth Maul was cool, the space battles were fun and the plot tried for something. In this film, Christopher Lee is wasted as a mediocre villain and we watch poorly written romantic dialogue. Apparently Boba Fett is a clone and so are all storm troopers. This cannot be the Clone Wars that Ben Kenobi talked about all those years ago on Tattoine. 

1-Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day

220px-Boondock_2_poster

I wanted to love this movie and quote it as much as I do the first film. In the BS production house and amongst our friends this is one of our films. We were so ready for this movie to come out. It isn’t bad. It just isn’t the first film. It tries so hard to recapture that lightning, but never seems to. Rocco’s cameo was a nice touch and having Willam Defoe return as Lt. Smeker was great, but I still feel a bit empty. I loved the Focus on Il Duce, but something wasn’t quite there. This series still gets an annual play through on St. Patty’s Day, but All Saints Day just isn’t the saint the first one was.

Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

Failed Potential Movie Sequels Part 1

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Bored Shenanigans’ Rank This! This time we list out those movies that were really disappointing even though they were filled with so much potential. These films still hurt us a little on the inside years later. Enjoy part one, and stay tuned for part two next week.

30-Indiana Jones Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

indy2

It has been well documented on what a boner killer this film is. It rendered all fans of Indy’s return quite flaccid. Some head scratching scenes involving gophers, monkeys, refrigerators and poorly conceived Soviets and aliens all stacked up for a forgettable finish to a proud franchise.

29-Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows

blairwitch2

Remember all those shaky camera shots and intense point of view moments from the first film? Remember how it felt so personal and realistic in comparison to everything else that was out at the time? So in the sequel what if the went as far away from that low-budget edgy style and made it into a generic horror film? You have number 29 on our list.

28-Jurassic Park 3

jurassic3

Fail. How do you fuck up a dinosaur movie? Just put them somewhere and focus on the interesting dinosaurs not the lame ass human drama. This was their chance to redeem themselves after that abysmal Lost World flick. Fail.

27-Lost Boys: The Tribe

This movie sure missed the mark. Everyone likes The Lost Boys and no one liked its sequel. It lacked the fun or adventure of its predecessor and left us feeling empty will with two dried up Coreys.

26-Ghost Busters 2

Okay, Viggo was a pretty kick ass part of this movie. He was a much more interesting villain than Gozer. Then you factor in little Oscar, mood slime, and just a ho hum experience. They had so much to work with and all we got was, meh.

25-Grease 2

Let’s flip the male and female characters changing themselves and swap cars for motorcycles. Other than a funny song about reproduction, this film wasted what could have been another iconic movie.

24-Resident Evil sequels/Silent Hill sequels

I am cheating here a little bit, but this is my list. The original film of these perspective franchises were pretty awesome. Both took their particular worlds and made them frightening. Then the sequels started. They both have steadily declined to the point of almost unbearable.

23-X Men 3: The Last Stand

Enough with the goddamn Wolverine. We get it, he is a bad-ass with claws. This should have been the movie that made the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants shine and allowed the audience to sympathize with their plight. Instead we get to plod through a poorly drawn out Phoenix story.

22-Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

terminator 3

This could have been such a insanely perfect string of sequels. The first one was incredible, the second one surpassed it, and the third tried its damnedest to recreate the T-1000 and give him tits. John Conner sucks in this movie. At least Salvation wasn’t too bad.

21-Halloween 2 (Rob Zombie)

Rob Zombie has proven to be one of the more interesting horror directors. His revision of the first Halloween movie was really enjoyable and demonstrated the range of his cast. It’s sequel fell flat in comparison. It was most certainly a disappointment.

20-The Never Ending Story Part 2

This story should have ended. What the hell was going on in this movie? This had such a convoluted plot with even more characters to develop. I am too confused by this movie to elaborate on it any more.

19- D2: Mighty Ducks

d2

So after a group of rambunctious and rowdy kids learn about teamwork and their coach learns about personal responsibility, in the off season they forget to practice. So what do we do? Learn it all again. Rehashed and lame ass hell, this sequel relied on the tried and true team USA patriotism shtick to manipulate the audience into feeling warm and fuzzy.

18-Back to the Future 2 & 3

Get your hate mail ready folks. I think this film fell pretty far from its predecessor. Two wasn’t terrible and three was almost unwatchable, but with a premise like time travel, I couldn’t develop a taste for the film’s tone. Going for a more campy than thoughtful method, these two seemed to waste Christopher Lloyd as a fantastic mad scientist.

17-Return to House of Haunted Hill

The bar wasn’t set particularly high by the remake of the original, but they certainly had their heart in the right place. Using the name ‘Price’ to honor Vincent Price is a nice touch, but the strange choice to use an idol as the motivation for the things that happened, focusing on gangsters and side characters made the audience scratch their head.

16-S. Darko: A Donnie Darko Tale

darko

In a way, this movie never needed a sequel. In another way, there was so much lore to the world, it almost begged for one.  This film added absolutely nothing and wasted everyone’s time. With such an over abundance of material to work with and such an intensely loyal fan base, how could you so frivolously fuck this up? Pure and utter wastrel.

Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

BS To Go 003: Going For Broke

The wait is over America, Brent returns with Cody as they philosophize over porn, pro athletes pay checks, and a the state of our demographic. So roll up your sleeves and enjoy a hearty helping of BS to go!

download

Ah Yeeeeeeeeeaaaahhhhh!!! B.S. in da hizzouse!!!!

Mixmaster DJ Righteous Bad R Reverend Dog a.k.a. Hurricane “Smooth Swagga” Brewer iz dropin’ da Mad beats up-in da ghetto, hoes. With my homie Hitman Cold Cody C Kool a.k.a. lil’ Jemes we be riddin’ on spinners thru da hood wavin’ stacks of Gs. Word to yo mom fool.

Yo man this is da real shit now. Yo favorite hiphop beatz from da last epidizzle fo downlowd fo shizzle dawg. peace.

Jack dis Jam

Top 9 Favorite Swearwords

Cody’s Top 9 Favorite Swearwords

9)Piss. Does this really count? Isn’t this just a rude word? Like saying I voted for straight Republican ticket or I like Creed? This one barely makes the list.

8)Tits. Really? How is this a bad word? I guess because it isn’t the more technical teets, it is sinful. At least it brings to mind something wonderful, hence it’s position.

7) Damn. This is a pretty weak swear word, even when added as a description word. Even at it’s highest level of ‘I damn you to hell!’ it really requires a stronger word to make it strong enough.

6) Hell. This beats out damn simply on imagery. Devils, demons, hell fire and brimstone are all solicited. No one wants to go to hell, not even Hell, Michigan. A good word, but trumped by others on the list.

5)Shit. The versatility gives this one a guaranteed spot. Oh shit, holy shit, stepped in shit, dropped my shit, a shitty list. What a great word with good strong symbolism.

4)Ass. Another good one, it can be a great thing or a description of a horrible person. A giant ass can mean something glorious, something moronic or something vomit educing. Asses would be nothing without assholes, but the sphincter owes this one a debt of gratitude.

3) Dick. Insert Freudian phallic symbolism joke here. Look you can add ‘dick’ to anything, dick-day, dick-grass, Jupiter-dick. I don’t know what they mean either, but they sound dirty and it is all thanks to dick.

2) Cunt. I seriously had to debate my one and two for quite some time. This lost, but it did receive much consideration. This word immediately receives a shudder of disapproval from the fairer sex. Isn’t that one of the best parts about enjoying foul language? To irk the women?

1) Fuck. Come on, what else could top this list? This is the big enchilada of swear words and honestly, one of the most necessary words in the English language. It has the most ability to express every emotion conceived by mankind. This is an amazing word and most worthy of a number one spot.

***)Honorable mentions, motherfucker, cocksucker and goddamn are phenomenal swear words. Flowering your speech with them can add such atmosphere, but they generally require another word for them to work properly. So if you want an all powerful swear, we here at Bored Shenanigans, advocate the use of all of these.

 Cody Jemes  is the mastermind and head complainer behind the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Has his writing style got you all hot and bothered and you crave more? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at  Texas Fandom, watch him abuse poetry on his blog or if  you are tired of reading? Listen to the podcast he cohosts.  

999 Words Shy of 1000

FUCKED is what I came up with. FUCKED. Here is a picture of the problem. Its not a bad picture my screen is just that garbled. But I still think that I will have the episode up some time Tuesday.

Fun Bored Shenanigans scavenger hunt! B.S. related items are hidden in this picture of the BS Productions Command Center; try to find at least 8 (there are more like 14 if you stretch it a bit but the lighting was bad)

MY PC is FUCKD

It Blow Up and Melted

OK, so the new episode is going to be late. I hope I can get it out on Monday at some time but not sure when. If not, we will have some sort of content up so you can get your weekly fill of Shenanigans.

What is happening is my desktop is having some sort of…. I don’t know… seizure. The problem is definitely video in nature and consists of intermittently weird white squares, in almost a grid, over 2 of my 3 monitors.This happened after I updated flash but I am not convinced that is what caused it. My fear is that it is a hardware problem and not software, perhaps overheating.

So, sorry that my inconveniences became yours. Hey, so the new episode is going to be late but while you wait why not listen to an old episode and relive some of your favorite podcast memories.

Also, don’t you like the new URL, oh lord is it sexy.

Time’s Wastedland

Seamlessly and successfully time tends to scamper away from you some days. In some miraculous manner, even the best laid intentions some how flutter far off into the stratosphere. So how does one cage the elusive animal of time? Is it a slow mastery akin to ancient art or is it just a goddamn hard-nosed determination to beat it? Lengthy and often redundant amounts of thought have gone into this quandary, so what does one do upon the realization that, “Oh shit, there went my weekend?” Do they frenziedly and frantically fight to maintain a little bit of dignity in the face of adversity or do you shrug it off to bad luck, poor timing, and some other variables?

I have no fucking idea.  I do know ,however that we have all been on both a winning and a losing side of this particular skirmish. We have all managed and wrangled our allotted schedule with vigor and not allowed anything to stop our goal, other times we are standing beneath a leviathan surely to be crushed.  I guess my only conclusion hope for the best and plan for the worst. Do not be too unnecessarily hard on yourself when calamity interferes, but also do not await such calamity’s interference to get things accomplished.

Alas,  dear reader I have used this article and you as a distraction long enough and must go forth and accomplish as opposed to squandering away more motherfucking time. So stop using me as a distraction and go out and achieve as well.

 

 

Cody Jemes  is the mastermind and head complainer behind the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Has his writing style got you all hot and bothered and you crave more? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at  Texas Fandom, watch him abuse poetry on his blog or if  you are tired of reading? Listen to the podcast he cohosts.