This is the first part of the actual Plot. It involves Archer and Vhraiden meeting up and figuring each other out; starting out with a case of good spirited mass murder moving to a ‘settlement needs your help’ Raider Trouble, and ending with a Lovecraftian horror story.
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Welcome to Chapter 010: The Meetup: Plot so Far: Part 1
You have heard of the High Reverend Carlisle Murphy, but a man like him does not travel alone. This week we rundown all of Murphy’s entourage. Their rougher edges are smoothed away making them a little more realistic and a little less like mini bosses. The lineup includes, Heath Millwright, Alluria Fiero, Mother Superior Alexus, Death, H4X0R, Uriel, and The Beast.
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Welcome to Chapter 009: The Inner Sanctum
This is the final bit of character work before actual plot details get laid down. yay
Please place your offerings and tithes in plate and open your bibles to Revelations and pay respects to the High Reverend Murphy. Hear of his travels; of his battles, hard fought, against the forces of sin. Hear his words and obey. Give unto him your works of the material plane and take up and walk by his side in righteous march. Convert the repentant; vanquish the heathen.
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Welcome to Chapter 004: The Gospel According to High Reverend Murphy
The High Reverend Murphy is the primary antagonist of Archer and Vhraiden. The man the latter is hunting for vengeance and the former has scuffled with from time to time. Murphy is a man of the cloth and the sword whose beliefs are for all to keel in one direction and he is the prophet to make that happen.
Fear not, sensual listeners. Bored Shenanigans storytime has returned to do more character breakdowns. This week we offer more of Cody’s atrocious high school era writings and Brewer’s hair brained setting ideas. Morgan Luscious Vhraiden: a forgotten warrior of a forgotten culture. If Archer is the oldest man in the apocalyptic barrens Vhraiden is the angriest. Sheltered from the outside in an isolationist cult he now enters the world in search of vengeance for his lost way of life.
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Welcome to Chapter 003: The Vengeance of Morgan Luscious Vhraiden
Determined to trudge through the chuffa and deliver a good story from the convoluted minds of their teenage selves, the BS team presents you the latest episode of Story Time.
Up this week you meet the first of the protagonist, the cowboy in dingy armor, a scraper of the old world and relic of it; S.E. Archer. A history teacher in his old life who has survived the many decades between the once was and the here now to see a new generation that has forgotten its past.
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Welcome to Chapter 002: The Life and Times of S.E. Archer
We go through a character cheat sheet to determine all the things we need to know to understand were he is coming from and why he acts the way he does.
It’s the end of the Podcast as we know it (It’s time I had a new show)
It’s the end of the Podcast as we know it (It’s time I had a new show)
It’s the end of the Podcast as we know it, and I feel fine.
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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 116: The LAST BS Episode: Please Stand By.
Well, after this episode it is a new show. We are up to our old shtick for the most of this episode, including finding a real life video game map point and talking about the walking dead but, stay tuned till the end for an exciting announcement.
This is NOT our Goodbye, Farewell, Amen. No solemn ending but an excite leap to something the same but different
I’ll be honest, this collection of poetry wasn’t what I expected. More accurately it wasn’t what I wanted it to be. I desperately wanted left leaning, anti-totalitarian verse draped in social satire. I wanted elegant lines questioning the very intention of imperialism. I wanted first hand experiences of humanity falling into mob mentality. I really wanted to fall in love with this book. I wanted to be as infatuated by this collection as I’ve become with Orwell’s essays and novels. I wanted this to be the shining gem of Orwell September. I wanted this to be something, it was never going to be.
For a little background, this collection was published in October of 2015 after being withheld for many years by Orwell’s estate. By the author’s own admittance, he never held much fondness for his poetry. This book gathers some of his earliest writings from his youth all the way to his later life. It does a commendable job of prefacing them, so the reader can more fully appreciate the events of Orwell’s life. From the standpoint of historical interest and curiosity’s sake, it is fun to see how much his style evolved, but that is about where the fun ends. The poetry just isn’t very good. In the words of Dione Venable, the editor of this collection, “Orwell wasn’t a wonderful poet, but in his poetry he’s gloomy, he’s funny, he’s happy, he’s sad, and in the last things he wrote, you feel his pain.” As you read through it, you see him experimenting with various styles and rhyme schemes but few ever seem to really resonate.
Now that the negatives are out of the way, there are a few pieces in this collection that are quite good. In particular I enjoyed Ironic Poem About Prostitution and As One Non Combatant to Another. The dark satire that reverberates in these works is familiar to the fans of his writing. They provide a glimmer of what I had hoped for when I found this book. Other than a few lines from a smattering of poems, this entire collection left me feeling a bit flat. It was eighty two pages of mediocrity. I appreciated seeing another side of such a highly exalted author. I enjoyed seeing small shades of his excellent novels in these poems. Unless you’ve read everything else he’s ever written or your inquisitive nature just can’t let this one go, I would suggest you just pass on it. Sadly, this is the first Orwell I’ve ever read that I can’t really recommend.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here or download his e-book here. Be sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.
With Orwell September in full swing, how could we neglect one of his most well known works? This novella takes place on a rural English farm in which animals begin a revolution to overthrow their oppressive farmer. Deeply symbolic and easy to follow, it is simple to see why Animal Farm is so highly regarded.
This novel was mandatory reading when I was in high school. I didn’t really understand or care for it then. It seemed highly overrated and somewhat stupid. I recall making ignorant, snarky comparisons to the movie Babe. The allegorical use of animals to the 1917 Russian Revolution and the Stalinist era that followed, didn’t do much for me. Looking back I feel this book was mostly presented as anti communist tome and the deeper issues inside it were outright ignored. I remember discussions about who each character represented, but it was taken with a misguided slant toward patriotism and not a study of political structure.
I feel one point my high school literature teacher missed was how good this book is at explaining how the state works to anyone. Written in a direct and easy to follow form, it does an commendable job of illustrating the cycle of tyranny. Showing the reader how honest, well meaning ideas are agreed upon and slowly manipulated by the powerful and intelligent over the less powerful and less intelligent. Good intentions are quickly forgotten when one group can gain at the expense of another. The social and political constructs in this book are so true to life that the reader is forced to draw parallels to the ones that surround them.
Dystopian novels rarely show the decline and fall, instead you usually see society at the lowest form. Animal Farm takes great pains to highlight multiple instances in which you see the society breaking down. You feel the plight these animals suffer as more and more things are taken from them.Orwell pushes the reader to ask if the revolution was worth it, or if the animals were better off with the farmer in charge. It alludes to a multitude of political theories and schools of thought, plus highlights how many changes a charismatic leader can make.
This book is goddamn great, truly goddamn great. I rediscovered it a few years after high school and it has been one of my favorites since that time. You can read it in an afternoon without trying too hard, but it is the sort of novel that stays with you. If you didn’t like it when it was a mandatory read, I believe it deserves another chance. With the upcoming election season be political, read some Orwell. I believe that you will truly enjoy the time spent. Animal Farm proves that while all books are equal, some are more equal than others.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here or download his e-book here. Be sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.
George Orwell is a titan of literature. He has coined concepts and ideas that are so deeply embedded into popular consciousness we forget they haven’t always been there. Most of us know him as a novelist, but during his life his journalistic writing were his most well known. Around the Bored Shenanigans studio we are rabid Orwell fans and cite his works with far too much regularity. So for no particular reason we present, Orwell September. This month all of our Adult Book Reports will be reviews of Orwell works.
The first work I’m reading this month is one of his highest reviewed essays, Shooting an Elephant. This story follows an English police officer stationed in Burma who is called upon to shoot a mad elephant. While never directly stated, It is assumed the narrator is Orwell speaking from personal experience. That fact is disputed as no provable historical account of these events exist. In my opinion this is written with too much earnestness to be completely fictional.
On of my favorite things about George Orwell’s writing style is the sophisticated simplicity. If ever there was a master of doing more with less, it is him. In this essay, the events are neither complex nor cunning but with precision he shows the tension between the locals and the British occupiers. It forces the reader to examine the two clashing cultures and the results of the British Empire’s seizure of that area. It allows the reader to see the author’s true opinion of the totalitarian rule without ever directly saying it.
The climax of this essay is something to behold. It drives home the themes throughout in both a subtle and substantial way. It cleanly states the essay’s purpose whilst still forcing the reader to ask more questions. It using symbolism in all the best ways and ends with some stellar final lines of dialogue. I highly recommend this and clocking in at less that thirty minutes it is definitely worth your time.
Check back next week as we sink our teeth into more George Orwell.
Read Shooting an Elephant free here.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here or download his e-book here. Be sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.
I really don’t care about football. I really don’t care about the Superbowls or endorsement ads or deflated gates, I don’t care. Now if you took my lack of caring for that and quantified it exponentially, then you have how much I care about mainstream media’s opinion on things. Honestly, before the last few days I had never heard of Colin Kaepernick. I’m sure he is a fine athlete and worked hard to get his job, but I was as aware of him as he is of me. This is neither an indictment nor an endorsement of him remaining seated during the national anthem. He is exercising his free speech whilst those who are outraged and offended are exercising theirs. It’s America through and through, instant controversy over a meaningless game followed by reanalysis.
This latest fiasco is just one many where someone does the unexpected during a national anthem. Even the laziest Google search will corroborate that fact. People have been getting offended during America’s special song for so long. Somehow I doubt that Francis Scott Key wrote this song knowing the ire that would be raised by non participants or etiquette breakers. Beyond that, I highly doubt that he intended it be sung before every team sports event across the land. Does the audience there, eager to be entertained gain anything from it? Do we feel more patriotic afterwards? Does anyone really care? I think not, so I say we stop using it.
The national anthem at events is just one more piece of pomp and circumstance not necessary for anyone’s enjoyment of an event. The patrons are just there to have fun. Realistically it’s use is pretty inconsistent. It is used before every tee ball and pee wee soccer game but not before a sold out concert. It is sung with gusto during a parade, but not before a car auction. So why use it at all? If it is going to be a lighting rod for controversy, why not reserve it for political events and the like. Wheel out the anthem for big ceremonial events and not every trite, third tier semi pro ball game. Everyone just cooperates out of programming and routine. We put our hands over our hearts like our elementary teacher taught us to. It is just a red, white and blue lullaby for most people ready to see what they bought their tickets for.
I’m sure the ‘freedom isn’t free’ crowd will object to this. They believe that flag ought be worshipped and the scriptures of the anthem sung. Fine, exercise your fundamental human rights. Embrace your ruler. I just don’t think it matters at all. Patriotism isn’t mitigated by participation in a song. Stop using the anthem as a tool to provoke ostracism to those with different opinions. Stop forcing political agendas into our light-hearted entertainment. Stop assuming you know the founding father’s opinions on events this trivial. Just stop. Why don’t we just let the people get their popcorn and and stop delaying the game. Why don’t we just accept that it wastes time and drags out the entire event? No one came to hear the national anthem. Let’s keep some perspective, it’s still just a guy sitting during a song.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here or download his e-book here. Be sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.
F. Scott Fitzgerald’s second novel is a great read. It follows through the course of their relationship, from the joys of infatuation to the committed stages’ hardships. It uses the early 1900s cafe culture as an interesting backdrop and really allows the reader to see the complexity that exist with each character. Before I get rolling too deeply into this, one comparison must be made. This book is everything Ernest Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises wasn’t. As much as I love Hemingway, this story told a similar tale in a much more enjoyable and captivating way. Horrible to say, as I know these two authors had a deep dislike for one another.
This is my first exposure to Fitzgerald’s writings. He is much more well known for his masterwork, The Great Gatsby. While that novel does seem interesting, I found this recommendation on a list of most underrated books and I feel that is a fair estimate. If you are looking for a romantic comedy style story that could easily be adapted to a Meg Ryan movie, this isn’t what you want. If you are looking for a cynical and realistic portrayal of flawed and selfish people whose love for one another has to endure trials and upheaval, this is your book.
The author’s writing style is simple and beautiful.There are multiple quotable lines spread through the text I had a difficult time nailing down one. The tone is a strange poetic elegance I haven’t really encountered anywhere else. The way in which he so clearly and cleanly becomes the vessel through which his character’s speak is incredible. The effect that their environment of decadence and the social structure in which they reside becomes ever clearer as the novel progresses, but not distractingly so. The author balances the line of a morality tale and an enjoyable narrative in a way that is rarely seen, especially amongst current literature.
The major downside to this book is it really comes to a screeching halt near the middle, I actually took a few weeks to finish this one. I cared enough to return to it, something I rarely do when I abandon a book in the middle. I was grateful I finished it, because I got closure on the characters within. The committed reader could knock this out in a few days, but I think this is best kept as a bedside book. Something to enjoy a few chapters at a time over a longer duration otherwise it does become somewhat ponderous. Overall, I got a lot of entertainment out of this story. I really enjoyed Fitzgerald’s style of writing and think this is a good entry point into the man’s work. This was definitely worth the time spent.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here or download his e-book here. Be sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.
“When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.” Those words from The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance felt very appropriate for this article. It seems that in any community there are always certain people whose reputation precedes them and are held up to a godlike standard. In the firearms community, some of those demi gods are Jeff Cooper, John Browning, Massad Ayoob and Elmer Keith.
We’re going to focus on Elmer Keith here. For those of you who aren’t the gun nerd that I am, Elmer Keith was a prolific firearms writer and enthusiast. He wrote for multiple firearms publications and had nine books published. He was instrumental in developing the .357 magnum, the .44 magnum and the .41 magnum. He developed the “Keith” style bullet which offers more reliable penetration for hunting applications. Over the tenure of his life, he influenced so many people and became known as quite the polarizing figure.
These are the blurb facts that I was familiar with. I knew the hit list of why he mattered, but didn’t know how he traveled down the path. I was pleasantly ignorant until I learned of this little episode. Elmer Keith was a novice reloader and while developing a powerful load for a Colt Single Action Army, it blew up on him. In the man’s own words; “When the gun rose from recoil of the first cartridge I unconsciously hooked my thumb over the hammer spur and thus cocked gun as it recovered from recoil. When I turned the next one loose I was almost deafened by the report and saw a little flash of flame. My hand automatically cocked gun and snapped again but no report. I stopped then knowing something was wrong. The upper half of three chambers was gone. Also one cartridge and half of another case. Also the top strap over cylinder. My ears were ringing otherwise I was all O.K.” (American Rifleman, August 15, 1925)
These are the little things that are glossed over by those who pray at the sanctuary of Elmer Keith. No one mentions that as the catalyst that turned the man into the myth. No one ever said this rudimentary mistake began his journey down the path of becoming iconic. If someone had mentioned this to me, I guarantee I would have been far more interested in the man. In the last few weeks, I have devoured vintage Elmer Keith articles and fallen in love with his brash style of writing. I have enjoyed his zest for life and his take no prisoners attitude. The man was extremely knowledgeable and has a great way of teaching the reader. I see that he was worth the hype.
Maybe I’m in the minority, but I like flaws. I gravitate to people who fight through the muck and fail. I need to know that you fucked up before you succeeded. I need to know of the faults to appreciate your accomplishments. If we will humanize our heroes and demote them from their gold plated altars, people might be more apt to appreciate them. They certainly won’t resent them or ignore them if they know they made the same errors we all do. I guess the takeaway is keep your idols in perspective. If you really want others to respect them the way you do, keep your starry eyed gushing to a minimum.
Need more? Ian at Forgotten Weapons has an excellent video showing the aftermath of the blown cylinder here.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here or download his e-book here. Be sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.
Fuck you, Michael de Bethencourt. Fuck you for calling Thirty Eight Tips For Better Snub Shooting a book. Fuck you for not mentioning anywhere within that it is for new shooters. Fuck you for offering sparse technique, while still having an introduction talking about your skills and qualifications for writing such a pamphlet.
I don’t claim to know everything about shooting, if I did why would I purchase this literature? As a competent shooter looking to improve skills and hone the discipline of my defensive weapon, I expected more out of this. It spent more time on firearm and holster choices than on tactics. I wanted sight alignment tips, hand placement suggestions. Outside of an excellent page on reloading under stress, this was a terrible disappointment. All of the information in this booklet could have easily been found online. Thanks to a few videos from Jerry Miculek and Tom Gresham, I actually got the information I was seeking.
I tried to be objective about this, but as recommended as the author came I couldn’t help but be annoyed. I’m believe that my next foray into this type of information will be from the likes of Ed McGivern or Ed Lovette who actually offer true advice. I should have been more wary, but somehow I still have a naive hope when it comes to the firearms community. I suppose from here on out, I’ll have to be far more selective. It surprises me how small the selection of things for those trying to move from intermediate toward expert. I just wanted to get real tips on trigger control and increase my accuracy on follow up shots, but instead I wasted my time and money.
Moral of the story, pick your advice and educators with more care. Remember that book apparently is open to interpretation. Remember that just because you enjoy a certain hub of information doesn’t mean you will not get conned. Remember that just because something comes from a website called snubtraining.com, doesn’t mean it will offer any skills on snub nose revolvers. Most importantly remember, fuck Michael de Bethencourt, because he’ll charge you four dollars for a pamphlet.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here or download his e-book here. Be sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.
Alan Moore’s The Killing Joke is one of the best comics ever written. Simply put if you enjoy comics at all you need to read it. If you haven’t quickly abandon this review and find a copy of it. This book h highlights everything good about the medium of comics in the same way that Sin City and The Watchmen do. It is one of the definitive works ever put to page.
In the latest episode of Podcast, Brewer and I reviewed the newly released animated version. As good as that movie captures the comic, I cannot recommend this book highly enough. It is Alan Moore at his gritty best and the combination of Brian Bolland and John Higgins art is stellar. Telling an origin story for the enigmatic Joker and having him being a cunning and vicious is a bold choice. This is R rated Joker at his absolute best. Moore does an excellent job of blurring the line between the hero and the villain. He forces the reader to wonder how different these two really are and as stated in the narrative, all it takes is one bad day to change your life forever.
This book has been influential on a number of interpretations of Batman, everyone from Christopher Nolan, to Tim Burton and Mark Hamil citing how much they took from this comic. It is fairly obvious the critically acclaimed Arkham video games have taken many cues from it. From its’ examination of a well known character to its’ morbid subject matter, this is a fantastic comic. This book is worth all the hype, all the accolades and I imagine that it will perpetually be one of the essential Batman story arcs.
Enjoy the full digital comic here.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here or download his e-book here. Be sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.
This one is very simple. We just review The animated batman movie ‘The Killing Joke’ and the not so animated movie ‘Suicide Squad’
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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 112: What are we Scissoring?
Congratulations dear listener, you have been chosen by the hosts to hear very little about professional wrestling [Citation Needed]. Hear them talk about many other topics the world has yet to experience, weird tales from the wilds of Borneo. Stories of the great and powerful Elder Gods, anecdotes about ancient traps they’ve avoided on their many archaeological adventures and narratives of forbidden and buxom love. Tune into this very special TO GO episode that absolutely doesn’t even talk about pro wrestling.
Would you like the Hot Apple Pie with that?
So that’s one Episode 17: No Wrestling?! Can it be True!?
How do you like your crime novels prepared? Hard boiled detectives? Corrupt public officials? Rival gangs gunning for control of a town, perhaps? If so, Dashiell Hammett’s Red Harvest does all those things and more. This detective story is so engrossing and the characters so interesting, I cannot recommend it highly enough. Goddamn, did I like this book.
This is my first journey into any of Hammett’s work and I was quite impressed. I don’t know the last time I enjoyed character dialogue as much as this. It was easy to follow, but still smart and witty in beautiful way. Crisp transitions allowed the plot to cruise along without any clutter or confusion and by doing so, it forced the reader to keep reading. I found myself having a difficult time leaving this book alone as I desperately wanted see how this story would end.
I really enjoyed having a protagonist with anonymity. The Continental Op is believable as a detective, I loved the intimate little details of each person encountered. It gives you a true feeling of who each character was. From crooked lawyers to roommates with breathing disorders, you start to know them the same way that the detective does. Another thing I enjoyed was seeing how the violent environment wears on the prominent figure’s mental state. As the mystery begins to unravel and the detective gets closer to tying up his loose ends, you want to see how he will triumph over the turbulent town in which he is currently inhabiting.
Go read this book. It has an inventive and well thought out plot that is executed by good characters fueled with reasonable motives. This book is so very worth your time and energy. Though it doesn’t have the same name dropping appeal as The Maltese Falcon, I can’t imagine there being a much more enthralling example of this author’s writing style. This book was highly suggested to me by one of my readers and I must echo that sentimental with full gusto. Goddamn, did I like this book and I think you will too.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here or download his e-book here. Be sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.
I stand with Milo. This is not a popularity contest nor is this a trend I am band wagoning onto, I truly stand with Milo. For the unfamiliar, Milo Yiannopoulos is a journalist known for his controversial viewpoints covering the gamut from feminism to Islam to political correctness. He is currently being lambasted by the mainstream media over spreading hate speech and is one of the only accounts permanently banned from Twitter. He is a lightning rod for free speech and a social justice warrior’s nightmare. Goddamn, am I a fan of his.
Milo is what he is. He doesn’t just poke the bear, he body slams the bear. He has become something of cult figure in the liberty movement by just being honest and speaking his mind. By daring to go against left leaning ideologies and point out the authoritarianism often represented in their actions, he has made so, so many enemies. I can’t ever remember anyone being so clearly hated by so many groups for merely using their words. People like Milo point out all the flaws in fundamentalism and encourage the rest of to advocate copious amounts of liberty.
Free speech was never meant to protect only the things you want to hear. It’s architecture was to allow those with dissenting and reprehensible ideas to bellow aloud. Those so quick to crucify people like Milo are the same ones who would defend him if he was advocating for their specific viewpoints. Honestly, I don’t really care if I agree or disagree with Milo or anyone on every single one of their ideologies. I do; however, vehemently promote their right to say whatever they feel needs to be said. I do not condone this or any other witch hunt aimed at destroying someone for voicing their beliefs. I will continue to advocate and support unfiltered expression, because it is the right thing to do. I will continue to stand with Milo.
Experience the controversy first hand
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here or download his e-book here. Be sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.
I got shitfaced with Jack Kerouac last night. Home alone and with no real desire to accomplish anything, I drank neat rye whiskeys and read Scattered Poems. For those unfamiliar, Scattered Poems is a collection of vulgar and visceral poetry from the author’s travels across America. It is excellent in every meaning of that word, but I’m not really here to discuss that. I am here to encourage you to remember to live life in your way. I want you to stop and enjoy the whole experience. To remember to be more than just be acquainted with what sings to the muse within you. To taste the entire encounter complete with inspiration, love, joy and rage.
Sometimes, you have to spurn responsibilities and follow your own agenda. Sometimes you have to do the impractical thing that feels right in that moment. Sometimes, you should make that last cocktail when you’re already on the edge of drunk. Sometimes you should eat that last piece of cake. Sometimes you should make conversation with a complete stranger. Sometimes you should walk barefoot in the grass and look at the stars. Sometimes, you should make some decisions in the now and enjoy life for the luscious mystery that lies within.
Reality will always be right there waiting for you when you return from your chosen sabbatical. It vigilantly stalks you eager to present you with a new list of demands. Ii will meet with higher tolls and more stringent responsibilities. It will take your spirit and rob your very essence if you allow it. It is imperative that we realize that we are so much more than our agendas and professions allow us to be. We are a vast conglomerations of hope, dream and desires. It is vital to the human condition that we feel and question and contemplate. It is vital that we do not lose touch with the impulses of our imagination. We must continue to wonder, or truly all is lost.
I encourage all of my illustrious readers to enjoy some of Mr. Kerouac’s fine writing here.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here or download his e-book here. Be sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.
Get ready to set the clocks back before the Mayan Calendar ended. Back when Youtube started sharing the first cat videos, and W. started his second term and Katrina. Cut class, forget your homework and hope for sex that will never come because Bored Shenanigans is 17 again!
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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 111: Shenanigans: 2005
My wife and I just recently moved and while reorganizing things I found an extremely important totem from the past. The Outlaw Bible of American Poetry is one of the most important books in my personal library. Not because it holds any collector’s value or even because it’s my favorite book, it is simply because it’s an amazing reminder of a chance taken. It’s one of those valued pieces of pure sentimentality.
I had a spectacular English teacher during my junior year of high school. She was one of those rare educators that honestly gave a shit and put out genuine effort. Before entering her classroom doors, I didn’t even really care to read and really didn’t see the purpose of literature. Mrs. Smith turned my world upside down by showing me the importance of it all. Her curriculum focused on creative writing and reading comprehension. She believed that everyone enjoyed reading, the trick was finding what appealed to the individual. Her approach was one that I hadn’t experienced before that and I bought in completely.
My world was truly turned on it’s side when Mrs. Smith started the section on poetry. Seeing that everyone and everything has poetry in it revolutionized my thought process. She saw how much I enjoyed reading the works of authors like Dylan Thomas and Edgar Allan Poe. She also recognized much I enjoyed the release granted by writing putting my feeling down on paper. She was an endless fountain of encouragement, pushing me to enter poetry contests, constantly printed off poems from a variety of authors for me to read and offered an abundant amount of constructive criticism on my writing.
One day after class, she was going over one my poems with me and she handed me Alan Kaufman’s Outlaw Bible of American Poetry. It was a vast collection with poems from the likes of Jack Kerouac to Patti Smith to Tupac Shakur. It showed me how that, in poetry there are no rules. You are given uncompromising freedom to say what you want. I’d never read anything like it and I knew from that moment on, I would be writing poetry.
This book, those authors and that teacher successfully pushed me to be a writer. I so deeply appreciate a teacher taking a chance on a misguided kid and showing me an entire world of art I didn’t know about. So many of the things I value now were heavily influenced by Mrs. Smith back then. She was a phenomenal teacher who I’ll continue to cherish. Her best intentions and eye opening lessons will continue to dwell within the pages that well worn book upon my book shelf.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here or download his e-book here. Be sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.
A bet is a bet. For those of you who haven’t listened to Episode 110 of the Bored Shenanigans Podcast(Available via iTunes, Stitcher and this very website), a wager was made on the last episode. The details are in the episode but I, Cody Jemes lost. In doing so, had to publish an article retelling my most embarrassing moment. It is hard to imagine how such could exist.In co-hosting an online talk show for almost three years, I have revealed many shameful truths that long time listeners are too bashful to recall. I have retold many a tale of my face palming failings and moments of unfiltered stupidity. Those are mere child’s play to what I have for you here. Without further ado, Bored Shenanigans presents Cody’s Most Embarrassing Moment.
Let me take you back to a simpler time. A time before smart phones and reliable wifi signals. A time before tablets and net books. A time when one was forced to download their desired media onto a hard drive if they wanted to take it with them. A time when bulky laptops occupied college students back packs and their battery life was paltry at best. Now in these bygone days of yore, I was a full time overnight employee and a full time college student. I drifted in and out of poor decisions with great regularity, but truly on this day I would out do myself.
The campus I went to opened at seven AM around the time I was finishing my overnight shift. I would often arrive right as the doors opened and the halls were often quite vacant. On this particular day, I felt a need to release some tension before my classes and I secured a safe spot in the men’s room. After some quick reconnaissance work I realized that I was truly alone. I was a man alone with just his lust and downloaded library of erotic entertainment. What could possibly go wrong? I set up my station, selected my finest adult video, plugged in my headphones and began to enjoy myself. As things escalated and intensified I proceeded with the normal course of action. My fatal flaw was the volume of the video overpowered the volume of my surroundings.
Whilst I was engaged with myself I didn’t hear a knock on the door of the cleaning woman. I certainly didn’t hear her ask if the bathroom was empty. More importantly than that, I was so overcome with my initial desire, I neglected to close the stall door. All these thing culminated in a quick and sorrowful turn of events. As I looked up I saw this poor woman, having just discovered me mid coitus with myself. She exclaimed “Sorry” as I violently shuffled to hide my shame. My laptop crashed to the ground, my headphones pulled out to reveal the sounds of hardcore pornography, I struggled to gather my belongings and my dignity in a losing effort while I vacated that bathroom.
After the woeful event I went and found a quiet corner to hid in my humiliation and in a futile attempt to collect myself. The cornucopia of poor judgments overflowed onto me with unrelenting ferocity. I was a moron. I tried as hard as I could to allow time to pass with some semblance of normalcy. I assumed my foolish behavior would be forgotten as there were only two witnesses.I thought things would be forgotten. Not so much.
I attended that college for two more years and would sporadically see the poor custodian who caught me in the act. I tried with all my might to avoid eye contact with her, but when her eyes found mine she would shake her head with disgust. There is no escape from chagrin so loathsome. To that woman, I am that harrowing tale of what to fear when walking into a men’s bathroom. In her eyes I am perpetually that slumped over pervert who was jacking it for all I was worth in the public restroom.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast listen to more of his botches on iTunes and Stitcher. Read his not so self deprecating articles here. This deviant also writes poetry, see that here or download his debauchery filled e-book here. Be sure heckle him on social media via Twitter or Facebook.
Sometimes, I think my hopes and dreams are so far beyond me that I want to scream. I can see them, but either my lack of focus or work ethic seems to keep them unattainable. Swimming upstream against a tide of daily hardships seems to keep them at bay. That being said, before you abandon this page mid sentence hold on. I know you can’t take another one of those late-twenties, who am I and what do I want to do with my life types of articles. That territory is well trod by Buzzfeed and Salon. Lord knows there are plenty of shitty indie bands shitting out their shitty post grad blues feelings all over perfectly innocent listeners right now.I’m not trying to add to their ranks but instead highlight a particular area in which I routinely fail. In reality, this is meant as a way for you to learn from my mistake.
I take on more than I ever hope to accomplish,I’ll admit it. I dream way too big, procrastinate a bit too much and then burn myself out with overzealous intentions and piss poor time management. I want so badly to be successful in a realm that doesn’t involve my day job, yet I will give the aforementioned day job the bulk of my effort. I just need to make a living, I could probably scrape by at work and actually pursue my side projects to a finish line. I have a difficult time balancing my priorities and I fear when I’m in my golden years I’ll realize that I didn’t do anything on my own terms.
Don’t get me wrong, sacrifice is a part of life and concessions must be made. Sometimes you have to work overtime instead of record a podcast episode. Sometimes, you have to be there at 5 AM to pull the lever instead of outlining a novella you promised your wife you’d write. Sometimes, there isn’t time to just make the final draft of your second poetry e-book. Sometimes only sometimes. More often than not though I find myself agreeing to this things, these distractions when I could just as easily not do them. The Earth will continue to spin and life will go on if I invested in my own efforts as opposed to laboring for someone else’s. They didn’t really need me as bad as I needed them to be my excuse.
This isn’t meant to be a statement of arrogance or legacy. I don’t expect world renown receptions nor am I’m ever going to be a Saul Williams or a Voltaire. I don’t intend to revolutionize the world, but goddamn it I should be using the few things I enjoy and have some ability at more often. I should be doing more with the talent I have instead of trying to not upset the daily humdrum. I should dedicate time to improving my abilities for me. I should have so much content for those who visit our small hovel of content distribution on the big bad Internet. I should be doing so much more.
I wrote a list of goals for the first time in my life. I have a three year plan. I have self imposed deadlines and projects. I’m going to make this work in spite of the same flaws that have haunted me my entire existence. I’ve told my wife about long term goals and am now accountable to someone for them. I’ve set meeting dates for creative collaborations. For the first time in a long time, I’m not feigning effort. For the first time in a long time I’m honestly trying.
Trite as it may sound, I implore you to do better than me. Embrace your entrepreneurial spirit and creativity. Bare your soul. Get that promotion at work, talk to that handsome fella, start or update that blog, get that certification or weave that blanket. Just go forth and grab whatever has been hanging over your head. Do the work. Trudge and struggle along with me. Don’t you dare make me fucking do this alone.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here or download his e-book here. Be sure to follow us on Twitter or Facebook.
Congratulations, we all fell for it. With websites from here, there and all over pleading for us to support Net Neutrality. Politicians and news anchors clamored that this is a much needed regulation. Well it’s official as of June 16th, the FCC Net Neutrality agreement was upheld in Federal Appeals Court. We all win, the Internet is no longer a luxury, it is now regulated as a utility. We can binge watch YouTube and Hulu without interrupted streams.
Net Neutrality was upheld as part of Title II of the Federal Communications Act of 1934. This act was originally designed around phone lines that transports only one type of data. Since the Internet moves so many types of data, to restrict everything on the same plateau eliminates the quality of service currently used. Restricting internet service providers in this way eliminates their ability to offer multiple speeds for their customers and removes the opportunity for them to prioritize the available assets as needed. This will force smaller service providers to new standards they may not be able to handle and regulates ISPs business models in a way that will make it harder to serve their customers.
The implications of how Net Neutrality will impact Internet users is important. These includes the Internet being subject to regulation by the Federal Communications Commission. The truest form of deregulated media may be a thing of the past. Independent content creators could potentially be fined or subject to the current regulations of terrestrial broadcasts. Another implication of Net Neutrality is having service providers submit how their data is being dispersed and that it is being done according to this agreement. While I know that the Congressional push back has been against the violation of privacy, I am more worried about the cost involved. The expansion of administration or the creation of some agency to ensure that the dictums are met . Regardless, we will all pay for this. An additional concern is that Title II allows regulated utilities to be put under Eminent Domain.
Net Neutrality is unnecessary and overreaching. It chokes the free market and will only cost more money to everyone involved. From businesses to Internet users to taxpayers. Through the use of misleading language, this act will be harmful long term. I oppose this entire thing and I hope that it will be appealed in the Supreme Court. Ideally, this is something that will go away, but my gut feeling is it will haunt Americans the way the Patriot Act has.
It’s Father’s Day. So get your traditional funny gifts out and buy a greeting card. I know it’s trite and well worn to celebrate this holiday for the sake of celebrating it. I thought I’d attack it with sentimentality. Saddle up, I thought I’d share my thoughts on my father with our illustrious listening audience.
Thanks for everything dad. You’ve dealt with me being difficult for a long time. As both my wife and friends can attest, I’m an asshole. I know during the most rebellious parts of my youth i amplified that trait to nearly unbearable levels. Thank you for taking that with a grain of salt.
You have been such a positive influence on me. You have pushed me to challenge myself and be self sufficient. You always encouraged critical thinking, even if it resulted in a conclusion you weren’t crazy about. Your advice has always been well grounded and you’re my go to phone call when I need another idea or opinion. I know I owe my sense of humor and deep love of sarcasm to you. You’ve been an astounding example of what a father and man should be.
I sincerely appreciate all that you’ve done
So to all fathers of who listen to Bored Shenanigans, who fathered listeners of Bored Shenanigans or to those who are using Bored Shenanigans as fuel while you and your partner create something to father, thank you.
Happy Father’s Day
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. Be sure to follow him on Twitter at @boredshenanigan. Stay tuned for more articles.
The tragic part of a tragedy is the victims seem to take second place. Nobody really gives a fuck about those affected. Sure, we all feign solidarity, we all wish well, political figures stand in front of podiums and make claims and legislation. Leaders of communities demand action for whatever has happened all the while those who really suffer seem to get lost in the shuffle.
The incident in Orlando has saturated conversations, social media, and all forms of news. Things like this just magnify everyone’s agenda. These things just make people do more of whatever they do. Whatever sacred cow those people or agencies possess, they just do more of that. Anti groups do more of that, disenfranchised groups push to be more accepted, all members of a certain faith are expected to answer for the actions of one individual and any number of other assemblage condemn or begin to fight for their own agenda. Not to mention the multitude of radical fringe organization that will condone the architects of the tragedy.
I can’t claim perfection, I have dabbled in hindsight just as much as everyone else. I have piggy backed on travesties for the sake of proving a point. If only this or if only that, the situation could have been different. I’ve encouraged people to read these statistics and facts that reflect my opinions and beliefs.
During this cavalcade of lobbying and motive pushing people still are suffering. Families, friends and those directly impacted are experiencing unfathomable loss. They are not comforted or allowed to grieve in peace. Their own personal hell is analyzed into a million of “what if?” scenarios. When lives are taken, we owe it to one another to find a solution to the problem. Not the kind of solution that pushes legislation, reinterprets laws and ultimately limits freedoms.
The focus during some type of disaster should be far more introspective. We need a renaissance that allows us to mourn the dead and comfort their families simply because it is the right thing to do. To objectively look at the situation and find a way to teach the next generation that hate only causes problems, it never solves them. We need to foster an environment where differences are tolerated and critical thinking is promoted. More than anything, we need to stop making reactionary judgments and instead just try to be better people.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here or download his e-book here.
#RejectedSexPostion If this title alone isn’t enough for you to download this episode, I wonder what ever will be. We find this trending on Twitter and if ever there was a time that our talents and abilities were called upon, this is it. Also we dig deeper into the literary classic that is the Eye of Argon. Truly a fantastical and epic audio journey.
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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 107: #RejectedSexPositions
I’ve tried with this series to look at things objectively and from a entertainment mindset. I am not able to do that with the following review and my bias is clearly shown. With that in mind I present you with my review of Catcher in the Rye.
J.D. Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye is one of the only books I’ve ever vowed to never read again. Now I’ve read it twice. I’m a sadist. This book has to inspire more whiny emo band lyrics than any other source. It is dreadful. For those of you who weren’t forced to read this book in high school, it’s about Holden Caulfield and the days following his expulsion from a prep school. It is often praised as a love letter to New York City, showing the vibrant and colorful nature of the city. Holden is often referenced as a symbol of teenage rebellion and angst, capturing the feeling we all had in high school. This book has been banned multiple times for the language and its’ reference in several crimes.
I’ll start off with the positives, I love the style of writing Salinger implements here. The narrative, places you precisely where the protagonist is and allows the reader to see through their eyes and understand their handling of every situation. The author’s concise and well executed methods keep the book easy to navigate and allows the reader to quickly digest every instance.
Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, fuck Holden Caulfield. As a matter of fact, fuck anyone who claims this as a piece of art that shouldn’t be besmirched. This book is one of the most arduous and least enjoyable things I’ve ever read. If it is meant to be an indictment of adolescents or force you to hate all spoiled teenagers, job well done.
I cannot be alone in this, as a point of experiment, I had my wife try to read this book and she was done after about three chapters. It is a ponderous read, filled with self indulgent whimpers by the main character. He is a walking buzz kill, unhappy by every single aspect of his life and when presented with an opportunity to improve it he just complains all the more.
I hated this book. I found little enjoyment from it outside the narrative used the brevity in which I was able to complete it. What confounds me more that anything is how this book is held in such high esteem. The pedigree of excellence heaved upon this work blows my mind. Maybe I’m too dim witted to understand the implications inside it’s covers, but this goddamn book holds no enjoyment for me.
I cannot and will not recommend this book. If it were just a story I didn’t enjoy, I’d happily tell you. Literature is subjective, I understand that. The amount of universal praise this work finds itself in is misguided and I do not consider it a classic or even an enjoyable read. I almost find it offensive this book is held in the same regard as works of Hemingway and Chaucer. If you must read something I’d reach for the instructions on your toaster oven before cracking the cover on this drivel.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here or download his e-book here.
Holy shit, another option. Holy shit, the Libertarians are actually being mentioned outside of chat rooms and their own circles. Holy shit Gary Johnson and Bob Weld are polling at eleven percent in national polls. Holy shit, the citizens are looking for choices outside of the GOP and DNC. Holy shit, I hope these two make a good showing and open up an express lane for others to campaign and be taken seriously.
I am actively advocating something to disrupt the establishment and push for liberty. We need a mindset change in this country. We have been mired in the left or right paradigm for far too long. The current mainstream candidates appeal to the lowest common denominator and only offer the illusion of choice. Whether the Democrats or Republicans win this election, we will end up in another war, we will have more laws passed that limit freedoms and the national debt will only rise. This things will negatively impact all of us. The people not politicians will be forced to reap the consequences.
Americans need this shift in the political spectrum. They need to see an alternative to the status quo to care again. I just want to liberty to prevail and people to actually be able to chose what works for them. I desperately want the third party to make a good showing this election, so people will stop choosing lesser evils and start moving towards good. Something to uproot career politicians whose only real goal is to stay in power and continue to exist comfortably. So many people are so vocal about how broken the system is, yet they refuse to hear any voice outside of what is easiest.
I plead with you, third party do not fuck this up. The Perot campaign in 1992 is the last time anyone took something different, seriously. We need this to work, we need this to do well and most of all, we need you to not abandon your principles for the sake of fitting in. Candor and truth stand tallest in the forest of mistruths and lies, so please just tread lightly and act with some civility so you don’t ruin fringe candidacy for the next guy.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here or download his e-book here.
Cat owners, account for yourself.
Cream always rises to the top. Sure it’s an easy colloquialism that is meant to inspire everyone to try hard. It is the style of saying usually reserved for guidance counselors and posters with cute animals on them. So what happens when the cream just gives up because the dairy fights them every step of the way.
Cryptic, I know. Ready yourself, I’m going to elaborate. We’ve all been told to work hard, apply ourselves and give a little extra. This is the secret to success and what we should aspire to be. Just do more because it’s the right thing to do. Great ideas that aren’t given the proper method to thrive.
Face it, some people are never going to apply themselves. Some people are going to skid by doing the bare minimum and that is fine. The application of self isn’t really the issue here. The issue is when those who don’t really exhibit any effort fuck it up for the rest of the people in the room. When they become the majority and lower the standards.
This is where those who legitimately try truly suffer. When the standard are so low, those willing to better themselves and give their all are ostracized. The system of do as little as needed is upset by their presence and they are either forced out of it or are absorbed into it. You either conform or are exiled.
With less being demanded of the individual why bother to compete? We are punishing the truest assets and not rewarding them. We are discouraging motivation and creativity by snuffing out everything it should be. Surely those with any desire will find a way to succeed, but it’ll be on their own merits and in spite of their environments. Good luck my dear overachievers, good luck.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work in the article section. Also enjoy his poetry blog here.
It seems to me the modern day lynch mobs are growing at an alarming rate. Without even trying to be involved in any of the issues, they are forced upon me. Small minded arguments calling for vindication of some sort of wrong. I’m done with it and as far as I see it, you’re all wrong.
The social justice warriors have sharpened their spears and marched upon the natives, causing the natives to meet them with resentment and violence. Neither group has behaved particularly well, they are both making demands and terrorizing one another.
Every issue from trans-gender bathroom use to the profiling of the practitioners of Islam to those trying to ban or increase gun rights are beating on my brain and I’m tired of it.
What I think is being neglected by all sides of these issues is that we are all losing. What is lost in all of the heated discussions and short sided quarrels is we are playing the hand dealt to us exactly as we should. Instead of coming to some voluntary, civil agreement we call out to our officials to fix the problem. Just as children on a schoolyard call to the teacher, so we call in the litigators and officials.
This has a negative reaction for everyone, some type of law, rule, guideline or mantra will get passed, and that will limit or outlaw someone’s liberty. Whether that freedom was one to support or deny that particular issue. So no one really wins, we all lose. Losing the ability to live a life as we choose because we cannot come to some sort of an arrangement. It seems so simple, when it comes to differing ideas, just rationally discuss it. Act like an adult, conduct yourself with decorum and represent your side intelligently. If we figured out our own solutions that mutually benefited both parties, I doubt all the quarreling would raise everyone’s ire to the point of a riotous frenzy.
If we just show the slightest bit of respect to those in situations different than our own, we might actually fucking learn something as opposed to making judgments on other’s dispositions. Look I never claimed perfection and am filled with my own prejudices, but I am pledging from henceforth to improve my empathy skills. Perhaps, you’ll join me?
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here.
TITLE: DRACULA (1958) • PERS: LEE, CHRISTOPHER • YEAR: 1958 • DIR: FISHER, TERENCE • REF: DRA015CJ • CREDIT: [ THE KOBAL COLLECTION / HAMMER ]
Once again I delve into my kindle to find free classic literature. This time I read Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Did your English teacher lie to you? Is it worth your time to crack the cover open? Have the movies and tropes covered everything you need to know?.
We all know that vampires have gotten a lame reputation as of late. Still living in the sparkle light of the Twilight movies, it is almost hard to recall scary vampires. Going back to the source material of such an iconic creature really reinvigorates a such a well known subject. The story of Count Dracula has been told and retold in every form of media existing. From the iconic portrayal by Bella Lugosi, to the memorable Tomb of Dracula comic and even being the Belmont’s reason to exist in the Castlevania video game franchise. We are all familiar with Van Helsing, stakes through hearts, sleeping in coffins and Transylvania. Even with all of well knows of this tale, I’m just going to say it, Bram Stoker’s Dracula kicks ass.
If you are a fan of dark atmosphere that just builds on itself, this is your book. Stoker does an excellent job of making the Count out to be a predator whilst the reader is the prey lost in his jungle. The methods in which the preconceived notions Dracula are stripped away and he seems so otherworldly. The ambiance and state of fear and uneasiness amongst the characters as the Count manipulates those around them is breathtaking. As the reader you both dread and anticipate Dracula’s next move.
I can see why this book has continued to be adapted again and again.It entertains throughout, it drags a bit toward the end as Van Helsing pursues Dracula back to Transylvania, but that is a minor complaint in what is a great experience.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here.
What What!! BS 4/20 show!! We be gettin’ our chemical on dis week. Puff Puff Podcast.
But, seriously, it is not that at all. Unless you think we are funnier while you are high. In that case just turn us on like Pink Floyd and board the Ganja train because we are reading “The Eye of Argon” by Jim Theis. The worst fantasy short story ever published, or so the legend goes. Think of it like Mystery Science Theater 3000 but for literature and not that good. Unrelated we wonder about nicknames and why we do not have ones.
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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 103: Hula Skirt
Let us know how you liked the whole us reading, interpreting, and critiquing this bad story. We will continue if you like it and if you really like it we will do others.
Sorry for no episode last week it was because we were so relaxed from this Rest-Full recording. It has been some time since we have had a Rest-Full episode so to remind you it is when we have a guest on the fills the “and the rest” part of our logo. This time laying down with us is Cody’s wife Madison and she tells us all about her genitals and the genitals she wished she had. Also, Man Crates which isn’t slang for a huge Male Box.
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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 104: Rest-Full Dry Clitoris and Mouthglare
This to go is what happens when two anarchists talk about the government. We also make plans for trips to creepy locations and talk about the upcoming Wrestlemania. Join us in the take out menu as you enjoy a fresh batch of BS to go
May I Take Your Order?
Would you like the Hot Apple Pie with that?
So that’s one Episode 16: uhmmm… *clears throat*
**Brewer’s Notes** I have not done anything with this episode so all Hate mail is directed at Cody for any failures in editing, crappy topics, or bleeding sores covering you body.
Cody explains what makes a good punk song good. There is talk of what makes a good Star Trek good. Also, what makes a good orgasm good.
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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 103: The Skirt in Up Skirt
I have not even thought about listening to this yet so fuck…….um write your own description
May I Take Your Order?
Would you like the Hot Apple Pie with that?
So that’s one Episode 15: ohshitcontent
This is the Special Valentines Day Episode because Cody Does Not know how days work. Brewer meets a politician, other than Government Monty, and still has all his limbs. Cody sees the longest possible version of the Watchmen, all 134 hours of it. Then we push the button for randomly generated ridiculous scenarios.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 102: Fuck You Chocolate
Sorry about the weird sound at times in the beginning. I had a lose cable and fixed it eventually. But it is not that bad. You can here everything; think of it as I am calling in the podcast from the 40’s to Cody present day.
We made a road trip to teh Pure Pwnage movie premier. But don’t worry there are no spoilers for it so you are safe. Other than the movie, which is great, on the trip we ran smack into a cult see pictures on our faceyspace and show notes. We also talk about porn because why not. And of course we talk about the Autoblow 2 because this is the 1 year anniversary of the first episode (Episode 071) in which we talk about it.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 101: Vasecto-cast
Beowulf destroys the Grundel and we have a deep and meaningful conversation about Hobbing Knobs. Also so many butts. And then things go to the dogs. And this episode is mostly nude so no worrying about weird skips in the audio which by the way I will rerelease ep.99 as a bonus episode next week.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 100: This is Not the 100 You are Looking For
In a very special holiday episode hear Cody sing the “12 days of Shenanigans” and Government Monty sits by his fireplace and reads to you the story “A Visit from St. Nicholas” attributed to Clement Clarke Moore, 1823
Happy Christmas
Happy Hanukkah
Happy Winter Solstice
Happy Kwanzaa
Happy Yalda
Happy Dies Natalis Solis Invicti
Happy Pancha Ganapati
Happy Diwali
Happy Chinese New Year
Happy Omisoka
Happy Day of the Return of the Wandering Goddess
Happy Id al-Fitr
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to the 2015 Christmas Special
Happy September 16th dear listeners, On this anniversary of the founding of General Motors do we have a special episode for you. Find out the ins and outs of concealing your favorite pussy gun, learn which letters the hosts really hate and hear what happens what is in Grant’s tomb.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 98-2: Pussy Guns & Dead Presidents
Wait for it……………………
That’s right we have big plans for episode 100 but it is going to take us a few more weeks than we thought it would to finish so….. in an effort to hold off we created a new series, a brand new podcasting series, with a brand new numbering system that starts at 1. So hear us stall for time right in front of your eyes and don’t rustle or Cody will know what you are up to from anywhere in the world. Then Big Band Rappers will find you.
While You Wait for Some Bored Shenanigans…
Stall For Time Episode 001: Fuck This Shit
Hey you! Yes you! What are you doing? Put that down and come over here. Do you know that the Bored Shenanigans Podcast has started recording its Third Year of shows? Well you should have they have only been talking about it for the past few months. And guess what the third year starts just like the first year did. With utter crap. The beginning is good and very jokey then we bore you with our lives but its ok because we know that.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 97: 1b
This is the BS To Go with Brent. There is supposed to be a player here, but Cody can’t figure out how to do a player. We talk horrible b movies, politics and our glorious penises.
Simon says put your hands together for another week another podcast, Cody is trapped in the closet and Brewer is sprawled out and relaxed. Plus what happens when the power goes out? Will your the podcast continue on? Tune in to find out.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 90: the ghey
This week the B.S. is back and the Party doesn’t stop. There is the chance that you could be riding around will listening to us talk about riding around. Also we got Charlie all around us but fight them off with reinforcements from hell. Cody’s castle may be changing as Brewer ascends to the monarchy. And we don’t get “Hatred” but assume it is no worse than anything else.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 87: Brewer’s got Back
Find out the exciting conclusion to last weeks episode with the new news from Cody. Also hear Brewer talking more on the pot, Cody get the shakes, and what we see as the bigger problem with a failed terrorist attack.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 86: The 1 Too Long for 1 Part so has a Part 2: Part 2
Also the last about 20min or so I did not edit at all. So think of this as a topless bar more than a live nudes
Did you watch Don Hertzfeldt’s “It’s Such a Beautiful Day” before this like we told you to?
We also dick around trying to talk about a birthday party and then nerf the podcast. Also we make speculation on the new Pure Pwnage teaser trailer.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 85: The 1 Too Long for 1 Part so has a Part 2: Part 1
A pragmatic reverend, an opinionated electrician, when their powers combine, they form Bored Shenanigans! Rejoice all listeners, Cody has returned to flirt with your ears and sexy parts. Brewer missed him, even though he will never admit it. The agenda this week involves canceled concerts, failed social experiments and an inordinate amount of swearing. Tune in for the number one choice in on demand audio entertainment.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 82: blah, meh, who
We got two big snakes in this episode one up front the other at the end to bracket an episode where we skate right into Kevin Smiths territory with a series of funny stories about Canada. But if Poutine is not your thing then you will find some late ’70s anime with propaganda, early ’40s Hollywood fighting the Nazi, and if only we were on time story about Randy Savage
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Welcome to Episode 80: J.O.I., Eh?
Welcome one, welcome all, welcome this is the Greatest Show on Earth. Cecil Demille be damned, we don’t need technicolor, Betty Hudson, Charlton Heston or elephants to deliver greatness. I’d offer little previews of what is discussed, but that is unfair to you. This is the most exceptional, most fantastic and by far the sexiest episode of Bored Shenanigans ever.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 78: The Greatest Show on Earth: PART 1
Leonard Nimoy is no longer with us so we talk about him for awhile. And then after that we have problems answering any questions we ask each other. I vaguely remember something about the sexual orientation of candy bars, a woman loses something way stranger than her marbles in a parking lot, Biblical slang, and Willy Wonka vs. Mary Poppins there can be only one.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 75: Remember…
The two least qualified humans on the planet attempt to make some sense out of the abortion topic. With the help of many fine, fine listeners we bring their opinions and our own straight to you.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans
Welcome to Episode 74: Abort!
It is sad. There it is.
Someone who inspired us, Monty Oum, at the time of recording this episode was in critical condition at the hospital. And now at the time of releasing this he has died.
You can look to the show notes for this episode to find the articles about this as well as some of his work.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 71: The Full Monty
Also in this episode we show how similar we are to Hawkeye on M*A*S*H by covering up bad feelings with dirty jokes. Such as, what you do you prefer paper or cloth when it comes to cleaning up personal messes? The most wonderful product we have ever seen: the AutoBlow 2 and its fantastic marketing is discussed. Cody also wants to know what it is called when you are sexually attracted to plants.
The plague is going around the BS studios and your two humble hosts battle through the fog of sickness and staying out far too late to bring you something. Listen as we review movies that we have zero business reviewing and find new things to put on a popular deity.
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Welcome to Episode 70-
We ask the immortal question that has plagued mankind for a millennium, If your mother was a snake and your father a turtle, what would you be? Plus we get nostalgic over things we like and pray to the remake gods that the minds of Tinsletown don’t fuck up our science fiction. Join us for
Episode 68: Snurtles and Scientology Superpowers
Seriously, Denise…give Brewer a call.
I don’t care if it vibrates or lubes
I want a blow up Jesus
sitting the desktop of my computer
It should come in colors from pink and pleasant
to glowing in the dark and iridescent
Travel sizes too so you can take it with you travel far
Get yourself a fuckable deity with all the features often needed
Browsing for the sexual Christ isn’t too scary
We can’t even find a sex doll of Virgin Mary
So maybe none of us will go to hell
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 54: Sin City 2: You can’t fuck Jesus
Also, Brewer is the Greatest American Hero, Cody is not allowed to poop, and a gnaked girl is abducted by gnomes.
Are you tired of sub par podcast experiences? Would you like something thick and hearty? Something that holds in the warmth, like hot soup on a cold day? Look no further, Rev. Brewer and Cody are here to right the ship. There are many issues facing America today, but one issue that shouldn’t cause undo stress and heartache is what auditory experience you should have. Here at Bored Shenanigans, we are a helping hand in the darkness, an extra rag to clean up that spill, defense against the imminent Martian invasion and the summary of your favorite TV show you missed. BS Podcast is a servant of the people, so vote BS in 2014 and do something for you and America.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 53: Vote Honest: Vote Shenanigans 2014
The boys are on duty tonight making sure you know whats what. They have a contest with a very special girl, Destiny. Tell you all about a new show that they think is going to be pimp. And talk about what and how they would hit it.
What up Bitches!!!!
Check dis Episode 52: The Brew and C-Dog Show
Also check out one of their favorite clubbing songs.
The mighty door to Vault Shenanigans has swung open and let out another locked up episode. This has all your favorite from rest-full episodes guests telling the story of Cody for your Prom Date. We also indulge in the 2 minutes hate, game on, dance safely, and this episode is not brought to you by stamps.com but it could be.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 51: SHENANIGEDDON!!!
Music matters to everyone. We all have those songs that take us back to our youth or to a specific place in our lives. A majestic art that can make us feel everything so deeply and on an almost subatomic level. That being said, I bring to you not only my five favorite pieces of music, but those that mean the most to me. So ready yourselves to disagree as Rank This! Presents Cody’s 5 Songs that Matter most.
5-Fuck Authority– Pennywise
This is a nostalgia choice for me. This is off of their Land of the Free? album and was my first exposure to anything called punk rock. This was my gateway drug into the world of three cords and do it yourself ethos that inhabit a large majority of my musical choice. Before this track, it never occurred to me that you could say this kind of stuff in a song. It opened my eyes to what self expression means and that the rules are merely what you make of them. I love this song as much now as the first time I heard it. A rebellious song that puts it all on front street and challenges the listener to make a change for the better. All in all a fantastic track.
4-God’s Love-Bad Religion
The most recent choice on the list, this is a song I found a few years ago. This is a song that struck me at a time when I was exploring my own spirituality. God’s Love does a fantastic job of satirically yet insightfully examining one’s faith, especially in the realm of Christianity. I know this will never make a top ten list for Bad Religion songs, but being a big fan of theirs, this song just does it for me.
3-Where Eagles Dare– The Misfits
Let me be clear so there is no confusion, The Misfits are the greatest band of all time. They are far and away my favorite musical choice and cannot stop listening to them and enjoying their work. That being out of the way, Where Eagles Dare is my chosen song of their catalog. This was certainly the hardest pick for me, as I deeply enjoy so much of their music. The chorus of this song makes it, balancing the right amount of fuck you attitude with power to back it up. This song is a perfect manifestation of the horror imagery The Misfits built their legacy upon. A superior song from a phenomenal band.
2-All Apologies-Nirvana
This song is so good it almost physically hurts. Nirvana was such a deeply talented band with some real gems in their albums ,but this is the one I have to choose. Another song I found as a confused loner kid it has managed to grow with me through the years. Covering a large gamete of emotion in a single track, you follow the journey and feel it with every note. This is a necessary song for all humanity, without it who knows where we would be?
1-Paint it Black-Rolling Stones
As far as I am concerned, this is the perfect song. I really have little affinity for the Rolling Stones, but there is some kind of sorcery in this piece. A masterwork of musical arts, this one just never gets old to me. Haunting and beautiful you find yourself at one with the universe when this song plays. It reverberates the frustration and fear of the universe in a few brief moments. A classic in every sense of the word, this my friends is music.
Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.
We here at Bored Shenanigans feel that we have not been doing our part to in society. So, in this episode, we propose an idea that will raise the populace’s vocabulary and strengthen communication.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 43: Jesus’ Cunt
We also show you our literary boners, Brewer bests Cody at quoting Star Wars, Cody learns about many different types of spinning things, and CHAD shows us the proper use for Doritos.
Well, Brewer and Cody were supposed to do an episode last week but some strange events intruded on this plan. So, Cody finds himself when Brewer disappeared.
Would you like the Hot Apple Pie with that?
So that’s one To-Go Episode 04b: Getting to know your evil twin – Side B
Oh my God, I feel so nauseous!
Please calm down.
How many? How many episodes have you made?
Let it go!
How many?
All right, shut up a second and I’ll tell you! Jesus!
Well?
Something like… 36.
What? Something like 36?
Lower your voice.
Wait, what is that anyway, something like 36? Does that INCLUDE this one!?
Ummm… 37.
This is 37!?
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 37: HEY! HEY, YOU! GET BACK HERE!.
Like one of our favorite pairs of best friends we B.S. about the important and not so, about Cadbury eggs and Nicolas Cage, rising gods and noisy dogs, slash fiction and thought experiments.
Holy B.S.? More like wholly bs! Yeah, I am sorry that joke exists now in the world too… What I was trying to say was it was recorded on Good Friday. But don’t fret that doesn’t stop us from telling dirty jokes and talk about movies. Also a sexy study, Cody double the date night, and Brewer finally finishes Final Fantasy XIII franchise.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 36: Even better Monday
Our dreams of this being the most gay episode to date fall short from missed placed hype. Cody gives us his review of the kid’s movie Frozen while Brewer hits the opposite end of the road with his review of Zardoz. We talk about the death of Fred Phelps but it might not be how you would think. Then the tails of filling things with things starts which leads us to meandering about our thoughts like old men.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 32: Labeling Stuff in Our Brains
Also some where in there is a Chad story and the B.S. Random Question Game Show!
Things bunch up. They combine together to form a gluttonous beast bent on devouring us into the bedlam and chaos. The best laid plans and the kindest of intentions often find themselves lost amid this hellish creature. When confronted by such dragons needing to be slain, remember that you control your own destiny.
If the breeding ground of procrastination and hap hazard schemes has you surrounded, move. Constant entrenchment against co-workers, classmates, neighbors, will take a nasty toll upon us and should be dealt with accordingly. Habitats of tension and malcontent tend to keep us from our better nature and most certainly keep our achievements less than stellar.
On the other hand, if one makes a genuine effort to control their own dominion in a positive manner and tries to do the same as they travel into the world, surely they will have a marked advantage.
Mostly what I am saying is if someone has cultivated a culture that is positive, don’t be the self-righteous ass wipe who fucks it up for everyone. Also, if you find yourself mired in a cancerous surrounding with little to no hope of things finding a more enjoyable and productive path, get out of there. Whether this entails you escaping it or changing it, you must do what is necessary. Wherever one hangs their hat directly reflects upon them, so if you find yourself shifting eyes side to side to find some type of redeeming quality maybe it is time?
Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This! and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.
We return with a vengeance to bring you the beginning of the list. Without further hullabaloo, here is number 15 to number 1 of our Rank This! movie sequel list.
15-Addams Family Values
This sequel fell so flat. Pancake level flat. Anjelica Houston and Raul Julia reprise their roles as Morticia and Gomez, but this film’s unrelenting desire to make Uncle Fester a comedy relief character runs this film aground.
14-Fantastic Four: Rise of The Silver Surfer
Well this was the chance for redemption after that abortion of a first film. Sweet hell, this was not it. Blundering their way through the introduction of Silver Surfer and making Galactus a big, glowy cloud really made me regret seeing this movie.
13-Tremors Sequels(All of them)
Sweet fuck, just stop. The first film was more fun than any movie about giant worms has any right to be. It was sort of call back to the creature feature genre and had a cast of characters you rooted for. Then they just kept making terrible, ponderous films about tunneling worms of death.
12-Mission Impossible 2
The first Mission Impossible was a complex spy film that made the audience think and wonder what Ethan Hunt’s next move would be. The sequel was directed by John Woo and has explosions, motorcycle races, giant explosions, and doves gracefully flying amid gun battles. Not what I had hoped for by any stretch of the imagination. A dumb action film that should have been a tight spy thriller.
11-2010: The Year We Made Contact
Stanley Kubrick set the bar pretty high. I don’t know that this film ever had a real chance of touching that one. But the director tries so hard to do Kubrickian things and it doesn’t resonate. This is apparent in the ending most of all, which ends simply and leaves the audience craving more, especially after how the first film looked into the mystery of space.
10-Shrek 2
Shrek turns into a human and donkey turns into a horse. He wants to win back Fiona and wacky antics ensue…..Next!
9-Aladdin 2: Return of Jafar
Maybe this is nostalgia leaking in here. I used to really like Aladdin. It was one of my favorite Disney pictures, having more adventure than most of its peers. The sequel was bad. Really bad, rehashing a lackluster villain in a lackluster revenge plot. Oh and Robin Williams doesn’t play the Genie and it is painfully obvious.
8-Pirates of Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
The first film was so perfect. It set us all up for a franchise of staggering escapades and did so much to make us like Jack Sparrow. Then this happened and it snowballed into a half-ass’d snooze fest that seemed unable to grasp any of the mystique of the predecessor.
7-Batman Returns
Why do people like this movie? Other than a top-notch Catwoman, what is good here? I understand the impact and revolution in the first flick, but this was horrendous. Tim Burton created so much atmosphere and scenery, the cast couldn’t help but chew it. Without Christopher Nolan’s trilogy, people would assume that this tripe is Batman.
6-Caddyshack 2
What is there to say? You take a legendary comedy film’s sequel and insult the audience with it. This film could easily be under a dictionary heading under terrorism.
5-Butterfly Effect 2
I don’t think the writer of this had ever seen the original. It is Butterfly Effect in name only. The first one was so good, this one was poorly made, poorly acted, and I was dumb enough to take the bait and watch it. I want my time back.
4-Matrix Revolutions
Okay, Reloaded had problems. It did, but this is where the string was pulled and the series unraveled completely apart. Constantly trying to mind fuck us for no real reason, this film plodded along and ended with a standard fare Zion standoff and an unearned ‘what if ‘ending. I wish I had taken the blue pill instead.
3-The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
Here it is, this is why I did this list. The first Mummy wasn’t Citizen Kane or anything. It had its problems, but it was fun. It was a loving tribute to The Mummy’s Tomb and Curse of the Mummy’s Hand. It was a great return to a much forgotten monster. I really enjoyed it and do so more upon repeated viewings. The Mummy Returns was not good and neither was the Scorpion King. This should have been awesome, taking the series to a new land and culture with the Terracotta Army and Chinese Emperor’s undead. This could have at least been a diet version of Indiana Jones. They screwed this up so bad and made it just another forgettable action flick and wasting so much potential.
2-Star Wars: Attack of the Clones
This is the worst of the prequels and I will not be swayed otherwise. Even with boring podraces and Jar Jar, Phantom Menace was still watchable. Darth Maul was cool, the space battles were fun and the plot tried for something. In this film, Christopher Lee is wasted as a mediocre villain and we watch poorly written romantic dialogue. Apparently Boba Fett is a clone and so are all storm troopers. This cannot be the Clone Wars that Ben Kenobi talked about all those years ago on Tattoine.
1-Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day
I wanted to love this movie and quote it as much as I do the first film. In the BS production house and amongst our friends this is one of our films. We were so ready for this movie to come out. It isn’t bad. It just isn’t the first film. It tries so hard to recapture that lightning, but never seems to. Rocco’s cameo was a nice touch and having Willam Defoe return as Lt. Smeker was great, but I still feel a bit empty. I loved the Focus on Il Duce, but something wasn’t quite there. This series still gets an annual play through on St. Patty’s Day, but All Saints Day just isn’t the saint the first one was.
Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.
Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Bored Shenanigans’ Rank This! This time we list out those movies that were really disappointing even though they were filled with so much potential. These films still hurt us a little on the inside years later. Enjoy part one, and stay tuned for part two next week.
30-Indiana Jones Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
It has been well documented on what a boner killer this film is. It rendered all fans of Indy’s return quite flaccid. Some head scratching scenes involving gophers, monkeys, refrigerators and poorly conceived Soviets and aliens all stacked up for a forgettable finish to a proud franchise.
29-Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows
Remember all those shaky camera shots and intense point of view moments from the first film? Remember how it felt so personal and realistic in comparison to everything else that was out at the time? So in the sequel what if the went as far away from that low-budget edgy style and made it into a generic horror film? You have number 29 on our list.
28-Jurassic Park 3
Fail. How do you fuck up a dinosaur movie? Just put them somewhere and focus on the interesting dinosaurs not the lame ass human drama. This was their chance to redeem themselves after that abysmal Lost World flick. Fail.
27-Lost Boys: The Tribe
This movie sure missed the mark. Everyone likes The Lost Boys and no one liked its sequel. It lacked the fun or adventure of its predecessor and left us feeling empty will with two dried up Coreys.
26-Ghost Busters 2
Okay, Viggo was a pretty kick ass part of this movie. He was a much more interesting villain than Gozer. Then you factor in little Oscar, mood slime, and just a ho hum experience. They had so much to work with and all we got was, meh.
25-Grease 2
Let’s flip the male and female characters changing themselves and swap cars for motorcycles. Other than a funny song about reproduction, this film wasted what could have been another iconic movie.
24-Resident Evil sequels/Silent Hill sequels
I am cheating here a little bit, but this is my list. The original film of these perspective franchises were pretty awesome. Both took their particular worlds and made them frightening. Then the sequels started. They both have steadily declined to the point of almost unbearable.
23-X Men 3: The Last Stand
Enough with the goddamn Wolverine. We get it, he is a bad-ass with claws. This should have been the movie that made the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants shine and allowed the audience to sympathize with their plight. Instead we get to plod through a poorly drawn out Phoenix story.
22-Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
This could have been such a insanely perfect string of sequels. The first one was incredible, the second one surpassed it, and the third tried its damnedest to recreate the T-1000 and give him tits. John Conner sucks in this movie. At least Salvation wasn’t too bad.
21-Halloween 2 (Rob Zombie)
Rob Zombie has proven to be one of the more interesting horror directors. His revision of the first Halloween movie was really enjoyable and demonstrated the range of his cast. It’s sequel fell flat in comparison. It was most certainly a disappointment.
20-The Never Ending Story Part 2
This story should have ended. What the hell was going on in this movie? This had such a convoluted plot with even more characters to develop. I am too confused by this movie to elaborate on it any more.
19- D2: Mighty Ducks
So after a group of rambunctious and rowdy kids learn about teamwork and their coach learns about personal responsibility, in the off season they forget to practice. So what do we do? Learn it all again. Rehashed and lame ass hell, this sequel relied on the tried and true team USA patriotism shtick to manipulate the audience into feeling warm and fuzzy.
18-Back to the Future 2 & 3
Get your hate mail ready folks. I think this film fell pretty far from its predecessor. Two wasn’t terrible and three was almost unwatchable, but with a premise like time travel, I couldn’t develop a taste for the film’s tone. Going for a more campy than thoughtful method, these two seemed to waste Christopher Lloyd as a fantastic mad scientist.
17-Return to House of Haunted Hill
The bar wasn’t set particularly high by the remake of the original, but they certainly had their heart in the right place. Using the name ‘Price’ to honor Vincent Price is a nice touch, but the strange choice to use an idol as the motivation for the things that happened, focusing on gangsters and side characters made the audience scratch their head.
16-S. Darko: A Donnie Darko Tale
In a way, this movie never needed a sequel. In another way, there was so much lore to the world, it almost begged for one. This film added absolutely nothing and wasted everyone’s time. With such an over abundance of material to work with and such an intensely loyal fan base, how could you so frivolously fuck this up? Pure and utter wastrel.
Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.
This world has been filled beyond the brim with more intelligent people than myself. If it magically became necessary to use other’s words to construct a primer to live by, these are the ones that I would chose. The following quotes are meant to distill things down to the core fundamentals necessary to thrive. So, Rank This Proudly Presents
7) “The truth is that all men having power ought to be mistrusted.” -James Madison
This is imperative. One must think for themselves and do whatever they can to educate themselves and see past what construct of governing sovereignty is presented. Following without question is dangerous, so always ask some questions.
6) “Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain.” – Jack Kerouac
Life is filled with too much wonder and mystery to not experience it. Grasping life and experiencing them is why we are all here. Seeing new places, tasting new foods, meeting new people and emerging yourself into other cultures can offer a revived perspective, but can also foster a lifelong memory. It it too short to not seize the moments.
5) “A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.” –Jim Morrison
Friendship is a wonderful occurrence. Being able to drop your guard in front of another person and just enjoy each other’s company is a rarity. When you can connect with someone on a level of enjoying a common interest or doing absolutely nothing, don’t let that slip away.
4) “I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” – Ernest Hemingway
Shut the fuck up and listen to what others are saying. Other’s opinions, thoughts, beliefs, or fears can be a phenomenal learning experience. Just don’t talk to hear your own voice, listen to what else is around you and pay attention. It is often worth it.
3) “Hope Is The Last Thing To Die” -Japanese proverb
Hope only gives up when you do. As long as you hold out that things will be okay after something difficult arises, they will. Giving up on hope is your choice, when hope is let go things truly are lost. Don’t lose heart. Hang on, it will all work out in the finish.
2) “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” -George Burns
Family is the tie that binds us. Whether it be your spouse, your child or your mother, that thread is almost indefinably important. That bond that draws family together instantly in the face of crisis, that bond that is shared among siblings, those memorable vacations and those famous recipes. This is the core nucleus of who we are that defines us as a person. No other group can drive us as crazy or make us feel as important.
1) “Life grants nothing to us mortals without hard work.” –Horace
This is the one, this is what it all comes down to. Work hard and you will get somewhere. Work hard and you will achieve whatever your goal is. Work can go along way that talent does not. Step up, stand up, fight and take that dream by the horns. Lackadaisical attitudes do not garner success, diligent work is the key to success.
Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.
No Johnfingering around and soup will go uneaten this episode. Here we have the B.S. Crew speaking seriously on the topic of government and what its ultimate goal or end should be. Not sure how effectively we do this but, hey you may hate everything we say but at least we made you think.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 25: We the Podcast…
And I’m sure future debates will be better.
The wait is over America, Brent returns with Cody as they philosophize over porn, pro athletes pay checks, and a the state of our demographic. So roll up your sleeves and enjoy a hearty helping of BS to go!
Mixmaster DJ Righteous Bad R Reverend Dog a.k.a. Hurricane “Smooth Swagga” Brewer iz dropin’ da Mad beats up-in da ghetto, hoes. With my homie Hitman Cold Cody C Kool a.k.a. lil’ Jemes we be riddin’ on spinners thru da hood wavin’ stacks of Gs. Word to yo mom fool.
Yo man this is da real shit now. Yo favorite hiphop beatz from da last epidizzle fo downlowd fo shizzle dawg. peace.
Sometimes it takes a friend. Sometimes it takes a friend for you to recognize your own flaws. Those hard standing habits that have become so structurally significant to you. Those stubborn things you allow to persist without even noticing them. Sometimes, it just takes a friend to shine the candle in just the right way for you to see your own shadow. That demented reflection of yourself that cannot encapsulate your better qualities. Darkly it has crept within you, bestowing upon you traits you never wanted. Embedded within you so deeply, it takes a second set of eyes to find them. It is a shattering and unnerving feeling to see your flaws laid out before you. That moment when you have all the evidence before you, yet you still want to claim innocence. All you can do is absorb it. Take in the criticisms and grow from them. Even in small areas allow them to make you a better person. Remember that recognition is the first step to transformation. So swallow your pride and proceed better. Go out and improve yourself. Take a trusted suggestion or two to heart. Do not allow yourself to be placid and stagnant in your own self betterment. We were never meant to sit still. We were meant to fail miserably and succeed gloriously. We were meant to observe and report. We were meant to improve ourselves and the others around us. Just take the criticisms, accept your blemishes and do whatever is in your power to polish them up a little. Beyond the goals of rising above, past the notions of furtherance of self, it is imperative that you thank that friend for their observations.
Cody Jemes is the mastermind and head complainer behind the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Has his writing style got you all hot and bothered and you crave more? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at Texas Fandom, watch him abuse poetry on his blog or if you are tired of reading? Listen to the podcast he co-hosts.
9)Piss. Does this really count? Isn’t this just a rude word? Like saying I voted for straight Republican ticket or I like Creed? This one barely makes the list.
8)Tits. Really? How is this a bad word? I guess because it isn’t the more technical teets, it is sinful. At least it brings to mind something wonderful, hence it’s position.
7) Damn. This is a pretty weak swear word, even when added as a description word. Even at it’s highest level of ‘I damn you to hell!’ it really requires a stronger word to make it strong enough.
6) Hell. This beats out damn simply on imagery. Devils, demons, hell fire and brimstone are all solicited. No one wants to go to hell, not even Hell, Michigan. A good word, but trumped by others on the list.
5)Shit. The versatility gives this one a guaranteed spot. Oh shit, holy shit, stepped in shit, dropped my shit, a shitty list. What a great word with good strong symbolism.
4)Ass. Another good one, it can be a great thing or a description of a horrible person. A giant ass can mean something glorious, something moronic or something vomit educing. Asses would be nothing without assholes, but the sphincter owes this one a debt of gratitude.
3) Dick. Insert Freudian phallic symbolism joke here. Look you can add ‘dick’ to anything, dick-day, dick-grass, Jupiter-dick. I don’t know what they mean either, but they sound dirty and it is all thanks to dick.
2) Cunt. I seriously had to debate my one and two for quite some time. This lost, but it did receive much consideration. This word immediately receives a shudder of disapproval from the fairer sex. Isn’t that one of the best parts about enjoying foul language? To irk the women?
1) Fuck. Come on, what else could top this list? This is the big enchilada of swear words and honestly, one of the most necessary words in the English language. It has the most ability to express every emotion conceived by mankind. This is an amazing word and most worthy of a number one spot.
***)Honorable mentions, motherfucker, cocksucker and goddamn are phenomenal swear words. Flowering your speech with them can add such atmosphere, but they generally require another word for them to work properly. So if you want an all powerful swear, we here at Bored Shenanigans, advocate the use of all of these.
Cody Jemes is the mastermind and head complainer behind the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Has his writing style got you all hot and bothered and you crave more? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at Texas Fandom, watch him abuse poetry on his blog or if you are tired of reading? Listen to the podcast he cohosts.
Just fucking squash your petty feuds. Don’t sit and stammer at the screen making up bullshit excuses aimed at nothing beyond self-gratification, fucking eliminate your feuds. Look, it is understood that some wrongs cannot be righted. Some grievous and dire violations of self and family cannot be corrected by a mere ‘I’m sorry’. Outside of select few instances, do that many of us have things requiring Punisher-esque style of revenge? Look we all disagree, we all are assholes or victims of assholes at times, nevertheless if we want to have any type of chance at moving forward, one must eliminate the issues. If you really don’t give a fuck about the person you are disagreeing with, them ignore them. However, when it comes down to family, friends, co-workers, or hell even frequently used hookers, just fix the issue. No one wants to walk waist deep in the excrement of your stupid high school drama. Nobody wants to feel that uneasy and unsettling tension that hangs so heavy when aforementioned squabblers are in the room. If not for your sake do it for the sake of everyone else.
Beyond all that, if the issues marred whatever relationship was there, at least try to be civil. Just feign a bit of courtesy and think to yourself what a goddamned cocksucker that person is. So here at Bored Shenanigans we advocate treaties amongst warring parties and nations. No more should one feel the attrition of another just because of something ridiculous and misunderstood. No longer shall we bicker as teenage girls do over who is prettier and who gets to wear purple to the prom. Just let it go.
Cody Jemes is the mastermind and head complainer behind the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Has his writing style got you all hot and bothered and you crave more? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at Texas Fandom, watch him abuse poetry on his blog or if you are tired of reading? Listen to the podcast he co-hosts.
Download here
Welcome everyone to Bored Shenanigans… To Go. On this initial episode of the To Go series Cody is joined by Brent, In which he and Brent tell embarrassing tales about themselves, wax philosophical about their friendship, talk about pod casts better than this one and briefly gloss over school emergency policy. Also enjoy Cody’s first try at editing and see if you can handle a BS episode without Brewer. So beyond all that, this episode is also somewhat of a ‘oh shit!’ as the plague has infected the BS studios, delaying our normal release schedule. As we recover, we hope you enjoy this.
New Year is a time of new beginnings and half ass’d promises to yourself. Those vices you intend to release into the great abyss of time and space, those torrid little corruptions we hold onto despite our best intentions. This is the year when we customarily let those fallacies flutter away and try to better ourselves. That in and of itself is a grand old tradition, yet the often forgotten and for granted part of such is to actually change. A change is a difficult thing, it is a re-manipulation of habits and reliable old actions. Change can present either the height of terror or the oasis of hope to all whom pass upon that roadway. The most prevalent part of any change is to actually change, not to just jostle up things to settle back into familiar old routines. Fucking alter whatever you intended to revise and move forward with it. Take it, embrace it, and conquer the goddamn thing, do not allow the lack of change to conquer you. It is imperative that you actually follow through, sift through the trifle of excuses and emerge victorious. Whatever your goal was, attain that. Change your job, change your waist line, change your religion, hell change your abilities, just do the work and win. That is your humble writer’s goal this New Year, to follow through and stand triumphant atop my flaws.
Cody Jemes is the head writer of the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Need more of him and don’t know where to look? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at Texas Fandom, leave snarky comments on his poetry blog or if tired of reading? Listen to the podcast he co -hosts.
Alas, we have all survived the holiday frenzy that is the Christmas rush. You may have braved the box stores on Black Friday, you may have fought your way through the hordes of last minute shoppers, or you may have wisely planned out your X-Mas shopping all year long. Whatever the case may be, you have endured and arrived at the day. Kick back and relish in your victory. While you are relishing, remember to take a moment to send your thoughts, good vibes, well wishes and prayers to those who cannot be with their families. I know this message is beaten to death this time of year, but it is the goddamn holidays so just do it.
So as we move forward from one season toward another, maybe we can take a token of the manufactured holiday charity we are force fed and apply it. I don’t expect any of you to go forth and save the world or anything, but perhaps just try a be a little better version of yourself. Whether it is the clichéd New Year’s resolution or just a personal goal to cover up that horrendous halitosis it is defiantly achievable. Here at Bored Shenanigans, we would like to thank all of our listeners for their support, all of our rouges gallery for their participation and last but not least I would like to thank the almighty technical adviser and editor for his tireless effort making our jackassery sound mildly intelligent . We are striving to bring you a better and more classy Bored Shenanigans experience, you know with bigger tits, twice as many explosions and more fucks than you can shake a stick at. Stay tuned for new developments and remember to keep your mistletoe hung this holiday season.
Cody Jemes is the head writer of the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Need more of him and don’t know where to look? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at Texas Fandom, leave snarky comments on his poetry blog or if tired of reading? Listen to the podcast he co -hosts.
You seeing us undressed makes us want to Johnfinger. So we did it again. That is got naked. Well, we johnfingered too. Anyhoo, There has been a wedding in the B.S. Family. Also we get angry about nothing important. Chad makes an appearance. We take Vegas by storm then by elevator. And we learn there is a lot of truth in (Pulp) Fiction and in Kevin Smith’s new move Tusk.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 19: Live Nudes 2: Live Nude-er
Also Brewer Officially announces running for President of Hollywood! So support him at your local polling stations.
We are witnessing the increasing impacts of Cody no longer being a host of Bored Shenanigans. In this last few weeks alone our country experienced record-breaking heat, droughts, and hurricanes, which impacted hundreds of thousands of people and cost our country hundreds of billions of dollars. Experts agree that his ousting by the megalomaniac Reverend caused undue duress upon the very nature of our planet. The scientific consensus is clear and overwhelming; we cannot have a Bored Shenanigans podcast with just Brewer hosting it. The planet will suffer undue travesty for several thousand years.
As public pressure to confront this change builds, we call on the good people of Podcastlandia and those former enemies of Podcastia to immediately freeze any new dictatorial decisions made by the all too powerful editor and to re-invoke what was obviously his wisest decision, co-hosting with Cody. We believe such action on behalf of The collective podcast galaxy will not only be a sound decision for our world’s entertainment, but also for the well being of its current and future listeners, who deserve the opportunity to enjoy a Bored Shenanigans the way it was meant to be and to have a world not mired with chaos.
For the good of our listeners, fans, friends, loved ones and our nation, and to preserve the quality of life for this and future generations worldwide, we call upon you to join a growing movement around the universe that is committed to preventing extreme and unwarranted decisions being reached by Reverend Brewer and to return Bored Shenanigans back to its true and unaltered form.
Signed,
Ambassador Grainger, (specialist in Podcastia/Podcastopia relations)
As teased in the last one here is our response to a comment that JJ left on Episode 13. So, if you haven’t read it go do so (hey… its in the show notes…). It gets deep, we talk about faith, religion and, the bible, and as always we speak our minds. So, if you liked Opened Minded Cast you will like this one if not, skip to the end were we talk about ours and others. Also, send Cody hate mail telling him about the weird clunking rustling noise he keeps making but can’t seem to hear himself.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 15: Faith Takes It in the Re-Butt-al
Note –Incase you forgot. In some web browsers you need to right click the download and choose save as. For those that did not know. That means you people that don’t want to use i-Tunes.
Here we have an episode that slipped through the cracks. The first Lost Episode. Don’t know how you lose an episode of a podcast? Listen and find out.
This was recorded back around the time we released episode 1 and as the overly clever name suggests, we talk about Bigfoot. What it does not suggest is we also talk about bad 90’s media and as always our penises.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 5: the bigfoot episode
note: the Links of interest page will be update shorty. I am to lazy to do it now. Hey, at least that sentence is honest.
If you did not know Cody has been married this entire time. I know! Also, we describe a tradition in our group of making odd looking, hectic cakes. ( There Are Pictures on Our Facebook! ) And we find out that Brewer serves a higher calling…
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 4: Weddings, Christmas, Man-ginas, and You
Go with the grace and clarity of the angels to leave us reviews on iTunes, comments here or on the Facebook, and hate mail up the wazoo, my child.
Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, A tale of a Podcast.
That’s right we finally utilize the “and the rest” in our logo and have guests on The Majorious Jarrett and Ernie. Don’t know who they are Listen, or go to the about page.
And enjoy your Rest-full episode.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 2: And the Rest!
So join us here each week my friends,
You’re sure to get a smile,
From nobody of any importance,
Here on “Bored Shenanigans?”
Well, if it was not 6:00 am when I posted this, this whole Gilligan’s Island thing would have gone somewhere.
Hey look! This episode is called 1. That’s right the first real episode where Cody and Ryan try their best at being Statler and Waldorf and speak out about what is wrong in movies today. Also we offend more people, even worst puns than last time then, things take a turn for the worst.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 1: Picture Show
In other news – we should be on iTunes as of now. So if you want to get us that way just search Bored Shenanigans we should be the only podcast to pop up. And while you are there, you can leave a rating and review.
To non-iTunes users you can get it just for us to make us more popular or, leave comments, suggestions for making the show better, or hate mail here or anywhere you see on the about page.
Also the audio quality will improve by episode 3 so…. Thanks for being patient as we bumble our way into being better podcasters.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode b:…S about F words
To all the new listeners and those returning, thank you.
This is what could best be described as the second pilot episode; the co-pilot one could say.
In it this time is well, some BS at the beginning, theft of weird items, atomic radiated spider ninjas, and steampunk. Then we get a little serious/preachy about censorship. Throughout the whole thing many bad puns.
This episode is marked extra explicit for the overabundance of real and fictitious swearing and Cody’s general offensive nature.
Note – In some web browsers you need to right click the download and choose save as. For those that did not know.
Download
[audio http://archive.org/download/boredshenanigans/BS_ep000.mp3|titles=B.S. Ep. 0|animation=no]
Well, thank you for even taking time to look at this page. What you will find here is a podcast by two guys of no importance just talking, sometimes with a topic in mind.
In this, the pilot episode of our podcast, you will meet your lovable and witty hosts, Ryan Brewer and Cody Jemes and they will take you on a journey of discovering each other, dirty words, and babbling about nothing.
This can be thought of as a preview. On Monday, if all works as it is should, you will find a new episode and that will be the normal air date. If you will, give us a few episodes they only get better.
Check out the about us page to know a little more or go to the contact us page to see were else we are on the internet.
Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.
Welcome to Episode 0: Who the Fuck are We and Why the Fuck Should You Care
Note – In some web browsers you need to right click the download and choose save as. For those that did not know.
