Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 96

New equipment in the studio; so, woot. Cody is a bitch. And flyer are countered with other flyers in a war to win space on a bulletin board. Don’t worry you can see it below in the show notes for this episode. Cody still a bitch. But he did a tell all on the faceyspace so find that in the show notes as well. Cody is a bitch about bitching. And strange things poke out of backpacks.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 96: Fearless Flyers

Don’t forget to check out the show notes. There are show notes. For real.

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5 Songs That Matter Most

Music matters to everyone. We all have those songs that take us back to our youth or to a specific place in our lives. A majestic art that can make us feel everything so deeply and on an almost subatomic level. That being said, I bring to you not only my five favorite pieces of music, but those that mean the most to me. So ready yourselves to disagree as Rank This! Presents Cody’s 5 Songs that Matter most.

5-Fuck Authority– Pennywise
This is a nostalgia choice for me. This is off of their Land of the Free? album and was my first exposure to anything called punk rock. This was my gateway drug into the world of three cords and do it yourself ethos that inhabit a large majority of my musical choice. Before this track, it never occurred to me that you could say this kind of stuff in a song. It opened my eyes to what self expression means and that the rules are merely what you make of them. I love this song as much now as the first time I heard it. A rebellious song that puts it all on front street and challenges the listener to make a change for the better. All in all a fantastic track.

4-God’s Love-Bad Religion 
The most recent choice on the list, this is a song I found a few years ago. This is a song that struck me at a time when I was exploring my own spirituality. God’s Love does a fantastic job of satirically yet insightfully examining one’s faith, especially in the realm of Christianity. I know this will never make a top ten list for Bad Religion songs, but being a big fan of theirs, this song just does it for me.

3-Where Eagles Dare– The Misfits
Let me be clear so there is no confusion, The Misfits are the greatest band of all time. They are far and away my favorite musical choice and cannot stop listening to them and enjoying their work. That being out of the way, Where Eagles Dare is my chosen song of their catalog. This was certainly the hardest pick for me, as I deeply enjoy so much of their music. The chorus of this song makes it, balancing the right amount of fuck you attitude with power to back it up. This song is a perfect manifestation of the horror imagery The Misfits built their legacy upon. A superior song from a phenomenal band.

2-All Apologies-Nirvana
This song is so good it almost physically hurts. Nirvana was such a deeply talented band with some real gems in their albums ,but this is the one I have to choose. Another song I found as a confused loner kid it has managed to grow with me through the years. Covering a large gamete of emotion in a single track, you follow the journey and feel it with every note. This is a necessary song for all humanity, without it who knows where we would be?

1-Paint it Black-Rolling Stones
As far as I am concerned, this is the perfect song. I really have little affinity for the Rolling Stones, but there is some kind of sorcery in this piece. A masterwork of musical arts, this one just never gets old to me. Haunting and beautiful you find yourself at one with the universe when this song plays. It reverberates the frustration and fear of the universe in a few brief moments. A classic in every sense of the word, this my friends is music.

 

Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

Failed Potential Movie Sequels Part 2

Failed Potential Movie Sequels Returns

We return with a vengeance to bring you the beginning of the list. Without further hullabaloo, here is number 15 to number 1 of our Rank This! movie sequel list.

15-Addams Family Values

This sequel fell so flat. Pancake level flat. Anjelica Houston and Raul Julia reprise their roles as Morticia and Gomez, but this film’s unrelenting desire to make Uncle Fester a comedy relief character runs this film aground.

 14-Fantastic Four: Rise of The Silver Surfer

Well this was the chance for redemption after that abortion of a first film. Sweet hell, this was not it. Blundering their way through the introduction of Silver Surfer and making Galactus a big, glowy cloud really made me regret seeing this movie. 

13-Tremors Sequels(All of them)

Sweet fuck, just stop. The first film was more fun than any movie about giant worms has any right to be. It was sort of call back to the creature feature genre and had a cast of characters you rooted for. Then they just kept making terrible, ponderous films about tunneling worms of death.

12-Mission Impossible 2

The first Mission Impossible was a complex spy film that made the audience think and wonder what Ethan Hunt’s next move would be. The sequel was directed by John Woo and has explosions, motorcycle races, giant explosions, and doves gracefully flying amid gun battles. Not what I had hoped for by any stretch of the imagination. A dumb action film that should have been a tight spy thriller. 

11-2010: The Year We Made Contact

Stanley Kubrick set the bar pretty high. I don’t know that this film ever had a real chance of touching that one. But the director tries so hard to do Kubrickian things and it doesn’t resonate. This is apparent in the ending most of all, which ends simply and leaves the audience craving more, especially after how the first film looked into the mystery of space. 

10-Shrek 2

Shrek turns into a human and donkey turns into a horse. He wants to win back Fiona and wacky antics ensue…..Next!

9-Aladdin 2: Return of Jafar

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Maybe this is nostalgia leaking in here. I used to really like Aladdin. It was one of my favorite Disney pictures, having more adventure than most of its peers. The sequel was bad. Really bad, rehashing  a lackluster villain in a lackluster revenge plot. Oh and Robin Williams doesn’t play the Genie and it is  painfully obvious. 

8-Pirates of Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

The first film was so perfect. It set us all up for a franchise of  staggering escapades and did so much to make us like Jack Sparrow. Then this happened and it snowballed into a half-ass’d snooze fest that seemed unable to grasp any of the mystique of the predecessor. 

7-Batman Returns

Why do people like this movie? Other than a top-notch Catwoman, what is good here? I understand the impact and revolution in the first flick, but this was horrendous. Tim Burton created so much atmosphere and scenery, the cast couldn’t help but chew it. Without Christopher Nolan’s trilogy, people would assume that this tripe is Batman.

6-Caddyshack 2

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What is there to say? You take a legendary comedy film’s sequel and insult the audience with it. This film could easily be under a dictionary heading under terrorism.

5-Butterfly Effect 2

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I don’t think the writer of this had ever seen the original. It is Butterfly Effect in name only. The first one was so good, this one was poorly made, poorly acted, and I was dumb enough to take the bait and watch it. I want my time back.

4-Matrix Revolutions

Okay, Reloaded had problems. It did, but this is where the string was pulled and the series unraveled completely apart. Constantly trying to mind fuck us for no real reason, this film plodded along and ended with a standard fare Zion standoff and an unearned ‘what if ‘ending. I wish I had taken the blue pill instead.

3-The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

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Here it is, this is why I did this list. The first Mummy wasn’t Citizen Kane or anything. It had its problems, but it was fun. It was a loving tribute to The Mummy’s Tomb and Curse of the Mummy’s Hand. It was a great return to a much forgotten monster. I really enjoyed it and do so more upon repeated viewings. The Mummy Returns was not good and neither was the Scorpion King. This should have been awesome, taking the series to a new land and culture with the Terracotta Army and Chinese Emperor’s undead. This could have at least been a diet version of Indiana Jones. They screwed this up so bad and made it just another forgettable action flick and wasting so much potential.

2-Star Wars: Attack of the Clones

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This is the worst of the prequels and I will not be swayed otherwise. Even with boring podraces and Jar Jar, Phantom Menace was still watchable. Darth Maul was cool, the space battles were fun and the plot tried for something. In this film, Christopher Lee is wasted as a mediocre villain and we watch poorly written romantic dialogue. Apparently Boba Fett is a clone and so are all storm troopers. This cannot be the Clone Wars that Ben Kenobi talked about all those years ago on Tattoine. 

1-Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day

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I wanted to love this movie and quote it as much as I do the first film. In the BS production house and amongst our friends this is one of our films. We were so ready for this movie to come out. It isn’t bad. It just isn’t the first film. It tries so hard to recapture that lightning, but never seems to. Rocco’s cameo was a nice touch and having Willam Defoe return as Lt. Smeker was great, but I still feel a bit empty. I loved the Focus on Il Duce, but something wasn’t quite there. This series still gets an annual play through on St. Patty’s Day, but All Saints Day just isn’t the saint the first one was.

Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

Seven Quotes to Live By

This world has been filled beyond the brim with more intelligent people than myself. If it magically became necessary to use other’s words to construct a primer to live by, these are the ones that I would chose. The following quotes are meant to distill things down to the core fundamentals necessary to thrive. So, Rank This Proudly Presents

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Quotes to Live By

7) “The truth is that all men having power ought to be mistrusted.” -James Madison

This is imperative. One must think for themselves and do whatever they can to educate themselves and see past what construct of governing sovereignty is presented.  Following without question is dangerous, so always ask some questions.

6) “Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain.” – Jack Kerouac

Life is filled with too much wonder and mystery to not experience it. Grasping life and experiencing them is why we are all here. Seeing new places, tasting new foods, meeting new people and emerging yourself into other cultures can offer a revived perspective, but can also foster a lifelong memory. It it too short to not seize the moments.

5) “A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.” –Jim Morrison

Friendship is a wonderful occurrence. Being able to drop your guard in front of another person and just enjoy each other’s company is a rarity. When you can connect with someone on a level of enjoying a common interest or doing absolutely nothing, don’t let that slip away.

4) “I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” – Ernest Hemingway

Shut the fuck up and listen to what others are saying. Other’s opinions, thoughts, beliefs, or fears can be a phenomenal learning experience. Just don’t talk to hear your own voice, listen to what else is around you and pay attention. It is often worth it.

3) “Hope Is The Last Thing To Die” -Japanese proverb

Hope only gives up when you do. As long as you hold out that things will be okay after something difficult arises, they will. Giving up on hope is your choice, when hope is let go things truly are lost. Don’t lose heart. Hang on, it will all work out in the finish.

2) “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” -George Burns

Family is the tie that binds us. Whether it be your spouse, your child or your mother, that thread is almost indefinably important. That bond that draws family together instantly in the face of crisis, that bond that is shared among siblings, those memorable vacations and those famous recipes.  This is the core nucleus of who we are that defines us as a person. No other group can drive us as crazy or make us feel as important.

1) “Life grants nothing to us mortals without hard work.”            –Horace

This is the one, this is what it all comes down to. Work hard and you will get somewhere. Work hard and you will achieve whatever your goal is. Work can go along way that talent does not. Step up, stand up, fight and take that dream by the horns. Lackadaisical attitudes do not garner success, diligent work is the key to success. 

 

 

 

 Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

Overrated Fictional Characters

We have all been there, sitting around listening to someone prattle on and on about what a great character someone was. Barraged by the popular conception and fandom, we find ourselves hearing just a bit too much about the following characters. Without further ado, Bored Shenanigans’ Rank This! presents

The Top 11 Most Overrated Fictional Characters

11- Cinderella.

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 YAWN. What a boring character with an over referenced story. The story is supposed to give us all a warm fuzzy and believe that one day wonder and beauty will rain upon us and free us from all our hardships. The original story had some dark elements and is more enjoyable, yet it has been so convoluted and watered down by Disney, it is almost unrecognizable. I never saw what the big deal was here. 

10- Legolas.

legolas

I feel clarification is needed here. In Tolkien’s books, Legolas is a member of the original nine who were to protect the ring. He was an introduction to the world of elves and had a few cool action scenes. He was just a fun background character who served his purpose well. Enter Peter Jackson. I guess, a defined cool character was needed. Someone to make the tween boys yell and the tween girls swoon. Dispensing arrows at a feverish pace, Legolas surfs down stairs on shields, kills large amounts of Orcs and tempts death many, many times. Expanded unnecessarily for the film, at least he gives cosplayers another choice in costuming.

9- Wolf Man. 

wolfman

Though he is considered a cornerstone of the vintage horror genre, he is the weakest.  All props go to Lon Chaney Jr. for an admirable performance, but he holds little sway. He doesn’t have the vexing nature of Dracula, the sympathy of Frankenstein’s monster, the tragedy of The Phantom of the Opera, or even the mystery of the Gill-man. I respect the ingenuity of the make up and effects, but this film is a bit ponderous and the writing of the character never draws us in. Not too bad, just out gunned by others in the category. The most disappointing thing is they had a second chance with the 2010 film, but it did little to add to the universe.

8- Ryu & Ken. 

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This is a tie for two characters who are essentially the same. Pallet swapped from the beginning these two have become the face of the Street Fighter franchise. With a field of such diverse and fascinating characters, these were the two that were picked? Give me Vega, Chun Li, Bison, Axel or Akuma any day.

7-Harry Potter.

harry potter

Too bad there isn’t a magic spell to make you be less of a whiny little bitch. Harry Potter constantly takes on tasks bigger than he can handle and then puts himself or others in peril. A dramatic pre-madonna he takes the role of lone savior much too far and must be bailed out by his much more interesting and well drawn out supporting characters. Gifted with a well written universe and a well thought out set of villains, Mr. Potter falls flat in books and films that bear his namesake.

6- Hamlet.

hamlet

To list or not to list. To deny popular conception of what is iconic stories and throw them by the way side. To withstand the flaming arrows or to take up arms against the status quo of popular opinion…. With all the iconic and well done characters created by William Shakespeare, how has Hamlet become the icon? A man of inaction and debate he ponders and over thinks his next move. I feel Oedipus did it better and was far more intriguing with far more baggage. I understand that history is on Hamlet’s side, but it is no Twelfth Night or The Tempest. 

5- Luke Skywalker.

skywalker

I understand why Luke Skywalker exists. He is the innocent soul that can be related to by the audience. He introduces us to the fantastical world around him, I understand his point. But he is such a lost little sheep through the first two films. Sure he has moments of excellence, like destroying the Death Star and knocking down Imperial AT-ATs, but until his transformation in Return of the Jedi, this character is an uninteresting one. Out classed by far more interesting characters like Han Solo, Princess Leia, Obi-Wan, Chewy, the droids and Lando. Truly a so-so character amid a cavalcade of new and exciting relationships.

 

4-Data.

data

Spock as a robot. That is all Data is. Sure he was learning about how to be more human, but sweet Omicron Theta! does this character get on my nerves some times. From stupid laughter to singing folk songs, he can really wear on the viewer. As the series progressed, he became more enlightening and showed the audience what it took to be human. I just never understood his appeal to the Trek Nation. 

3- Wolverine.

wolverine

This was a character that never grew with the fans. Okay, he is an invincible bad ass with a foul temper and some sweet claws. Who was experimented on by the government. But was originally from Japan. And may have fought in the Civil War. Logan has been the focus of so many comics and films, we lose track. He was a cool character when we were 12, but now he is yawn worthy with his same antics. He is so deeply associated with the X-Men and the Marvel universe, he has almost become their unofficial mascot. Over exposure that overshadows other notable characters earns Weapon X his place on this list.

2- Jay Gatsby.

Gatsby_1925_jacket

The Book is not about Gatsby. Just because his name is in the title, doesn’t mean that is the subject. Jay Gatsby is a self-righteous twat used by the real main character, Nick to show the glitz over substance society of 1920s America. Wrongly identified as the protagonist and somehow praised as a good character, he receives much undeserved acclaim. 

1- Tidus.

tidus

Auron was wrong. This was not Tidus’ story, it was Yuna’s. This fact would not be so important if Tidus didn’t exclaim that it is his story every five fucking minutes. Barely beating Wakka out as far as stupid Final Fantasy X characters go. This guy has some huge fan following and he is by folds the most annoying person in your party. Why would you want him back in the sequel? Tidus can suck my Blitzball.

Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

Ranking Tarantino Flicks

To start off our new Rank This! series, we list something near and dear to all of us here at the BS Production House. Tune in Weekly for fun and exciting checklists of things we love and hate. If you have any suggestions, please let us know. Without further ado, Bored Shenanigans presents

Ranking Tarantino Flicks

8-Kill Bill Volume 2

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Coming in at number eight, is the second half of Tarantino’s love letter to the kung-fu film. Michael Madsen proves the undeniable highlight of this film. A good movie, but lacking in the masterful action that took place in the first film. Only someone like Tarantino could have a movie like Kill Bill Vol. 2 be this low on their best of list.

 7-Django Unchained

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Barely squeaking out of the number six spot, the latest film to wow audiences and stir up controversy. Tarantino’s stylized American West served as a back drop for this revenge epic. Recruiting a slew of highly skilled actors, this film shines as one of his best pieces and proves that Mr. Tarantino still has the Midas touch.   

6-Jackie Brown

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“Shut your raggedy-ass up, and sit the fuck down!”

This is the most under appreciated movie that resides in the Tarantino filmography. Following the hugely successful Pulp Fiction, this one some how fell through the cracks. It was a critical favorite and earned Pam Grier some much deserved recognition, but this is usually the film even most Tarantino fans have missed. A very well written and well acted piece, if you haven’t seen it, you are missing something special. 

5-Kill Bill Volume 1

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This is an action movie. This is the way they are done and this is how martial arts movies exists in the 21st Century. Ultra stylized, extra violent and truly compelling, this was the vehicle that reminds us all of how bad ass a yellow track suit is.

4-Death Proof

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It is damn shame that the Grindhouse experiment didn’t go over better than it did.  If you like 70s slasher flicks and muscle cars, this is the right movie for you. One of the coolest movies rides in recent memory with a great mix of dialogue and action. This picture shows the evil genius that resides behind the camera. Paired with Planet Terror and packed full of fake trailers, this was exploitation films on a huge budget. One of the most fun works in Mr. Tarantino’s catalog.

3-Reservoir Dogs

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“You gonna bark all day, little doggy? Or you gonna bite?”

This is the movie that made Tarantino a household name. What a powerhouse of a debut film. The characters in this film are so well drawn out, they seem like you have known them for years. If there were any more bad-asses on your screen, the TV would kick your ass and take your wallet. This is the heist film by which all other heist films are judged by, yet you never even see the actual heist. Rarely does something this good come along, yet it only makes number three here.

2-Inglorious Basterds

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Tarantino doesn’t care what spell check has to say. He misspelled it on purpose and never apologized for it. This World War Two ride throws history to the curb. Over the top assassinations of Hitler, hilariously bad Italian accents, angry Holocaust survivor,  and legendary cut throat soldiers. Any number of these things would make a film phenomenal. This one combines them all along with one of the greatest villains ever put to film. Christopher Waltz transcended so deeply  into character, you forget you are watching an actor. In all sincerity, this is one of Hollywood’s finest displays of cinema.

1-Pulp Fiction

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This is the most quoted movie around the BS water cooler. We seriously wore a DVD out by playing it so many times. Yes it revived careers, yes it made us all want a “Bad Motherfucker” wallet. It made us all laugh when Marvin got shot in the face, and we all have our coffee with lots of cream lots of sugar. Preserved by the National Film Registry for artistic and cultural significance, this will forever go down as a classic. This movie will be torn apart and analyzed forever by film students and film critics. This is excellence reincarnated into pure awesome. Making ‘getting medieval’ a thing and it will inspire throngs of storytellers for eons.  


Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @ Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.