The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber Review

“If a four-letter man marries a five-letter woman, he was thinking, what number of letters would their children be?”

 

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The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber is of Ernest Hemingway’s most celebrated short stories. It uses thematic elements better than almost any story I’ve ever found jealousy, fear, courage, and contempt are all present in this fine work. With his visceral simplicity, Hemingway examines what makes a man and the constraints of the individual from their social structure.

This story follows the titular character on his first safari. He is put in a dangerous situation and proves himself a coward. After facing the scorn of his guide and the fellow hunters, he resends whilst on another hunt. He rises to the occasion and grows as a person saving one of his peer’s life. His wife feels her power over him leaving and then kills him. The relationship between the guide, Wilson and Francis is examined in detail. The victim is painted as neither the wife nor Francis, but as the Francis.

The depths of the interpersonal relationships in this story are fabulous. The tangled net that is the Francis, his wife and Wilson shows the growth of the main character and the flaws of the others involved. The author poured himself into the story and it provides another example of the intensity with which Hemingway writes.

 

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“Macomber opened the breech of his rifle and saw had metal-cased bullets, shut the bolt and put the rifle on safety. He saw his hand was trembling”

 

 

 

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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the recently revived Bored Shenanigans podcast. Our newest series “Story Time” is available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry by downloading his latest e-book here. Be sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

Old Man at the Bridge Review

“‘Did you leave the dove cage unlocked?’” I asked.
‘Yes.’
‘Then they’ll fly.’
‘Yes, certainly, they’ll fly.’”

 

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Old Man at the Bridge is one of shortest works by Ernest Hemingway. Originally published in 1938 in Ken Magazine and republished in the collection The First Forty Nine Stories.  Often noted for the economical use of character development and the overall theme of what constitutes duty.

Written during his coverage of the Spanish Civil War, it tells the story of an old man fleeing his home town during artillery fire. Upon seeing the old man laying on a bridge the author asks about his well being. The exasperated old man tells about how he was responsible for the taking care of the animals after the town is evacuated.  He feels guilty about abandoning his duties and fleeing the twelve kilometers that have left him in his current state. The author encourages him to relocate to where the buses can take him to safety and the man reluctantly contemplates this. In the end, the writer observes that the animals may have survived, but the old man probably will not.

Sad irony and humanizing the victims of war reverberate throughout this text. You can feel Hemingway’s empathy for the old man. He doesn’t wish poorly upon him, but he cannot help seeing the situation as it is. A dark, humorous tale of survival and duty. Hemingway signature candor carries a depressing story and forces the reader to think.

 

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“It was Easter Sunday and the fascists were advancing towards Ebro.”

 

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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the recently revived Bored Shenanigans podcast. Our newest series “Story Time” is available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry by downloading his latest e-book here. Be sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook. 

Weekly Poetry Pick

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Jimmy Stewart is not the first name thought of when poetry comes to mind. Known for his distinctive speech pattern and easy going persona. His acting work included such classics as Vertigo, Rear Window,  The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence, and It’s a Wonderful Life.  The beloved actor was known for his philanthropy work and political activism, but far less known was his dabbling in the world of poetry and writing. This week’s selection offers us a rare opportunity to hear the author reading their work.  Go here to see Mr. Stewart reading this selection.

 

Beau

He never came to me when I would call

Unless I had a tennis ball,

Or he felt like it,

But mostly he didn’t come at all.

When he was young

He never learned to heel

Or sit or stay,

He did things his way.

Discipline was not his bag

But when you were with him things sure didn’t drag.

He’d dig up a rosebush just to spite me,

And when I’d grab him, he’d turn and bite me.

He bit lots of folks from day to day,

The delivery boy was his favorite prey.

The gas man wouldn’t read our meter,

He said we owned a real man-eater.

He set the house on fire

But the story’s long to tell.

Suffice it to say that he survived

And the house survived as well.

On the evening walks, and Gloria took him,

He was always first out the door.

The Old One and I brought up the rear

Because our bones were sore.

He would charge up the street with Mom hanging on,

What a beautiful pair they were!

And if it was still light and the tourists were out,

They created a bit of a stir.

But every once in a while, he would stop in his tracks

And with a frown on his face look around.

It was just to make sure that the Old One was there

And would follow him where he was bound.

We are early-to-bedders at our house — I guess I’m the first to retire.

And as I’d leave the room he’d look at me

And get up from his place by the fire.

He knew where the tennis balls were upstairs,

And I’d give him one for a while.

He would push it under the bed with his nose

And I’d fish it out with a smile.

And before very long He’d tire of the ball

And be asleep in his corner In no time at all.

And there were nights when I’d feel him Climb upon our bed

And lie between us,

And I’d pat his head.

And there were nights when I’d feel this stare

And I’d wake up and he’d be sitting there

And I reach out my hand and stroke his hair.

And sometimes I’d feel him sigh and I think I know the reason why.

He would wake up at night

And he would have this fear

Of the dark, of life, of lots of things,

And he’d be glad to have me near.

And now he’s dead.

And there are nights when I think I feel him

Climb upon our bed and lie between us,

And I pat his head.

And there are nights when I think I feel that stare

And I reach out my hand to stroke his hair,

But he’s not there.

Oh, how I wish that wasn’t so,

I’ll always love a dog named Beau.

 

The selected writing is from the book Jimmy Stewart and His Poems.  He reminisces over losing a beloved pet in a way that is both relatable and heartbreaking. Taking the reader on a journey, you get to know the dog and can feel the writer’s affection for the animal. His pacing and meter are excellent and I really enjoy reading the verse of Jimmy Stewart, I highly recommend that you hunt down some more of his work.

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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the recently revived Bored Shenanigans podcast. Our newest series “Story Time” is available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry by downloading his latest e-book here. Be sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

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Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Story Time 003


Fear not, sensual listeners. Bored Shenanigans storytime has returned to do more character breakdowns. This week we offer more of Cody’s atrocious high school era writings and Brewer’s hair brained setting ideas. Morgan Luscious Vhraiden: a forgotten warrior of a forgotten culture. If Archer is the oldest man in the apocalyptic barrens Vhraiden is the angriest. Sheltered from the outside in an isolationist cult he now enters the world in search of vengeance for his lost way of life.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Chapter 003: The Vengeance of Morgan Luscious Vhraiden

Determined to trudge through the chuffa and deliver a good story from the convoluted minds of their teenage selves, the BS team presents you the latest episode of Story Time.

Reviewing The Watchmen

“Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.”

 

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The Watchmen is considered by many to be the pinnacle of the comic book art form. Alan Moore writes and Dave Gibbons illustrates this dark and dynamic story following a group of retired superheroes. Taking place in an alternate time line, this story highlights and amplifies the cold war paranoia of America in the mid-eighties as World War Three seems to be growing ever closer. This comic examines the lives and moral struggles of a group of former superheroes when one of their own dies.

Full disclosure, I think this is one of the greatest books ever written. I have read it a number of times and find the somber subject matter fascinating. It is superheroes that are not the paragons of justice. It is masked heroes at their most human, their most selfish,most inconsiderate and most violent. It is a character study of those looked upon when the villains rise to challenge the helpless. This book has no clear cut protagonist, as it is written it show highlights the ambiguity that exists within us all.

Moore’s creation has been represented in a number other mediums. A 2009 Film, that was met with mixed reviews,a pretty stellar motion comic and a long rumored animated series and/or movie. This work has been universally praised as one of the greatest of all time. Gibbons’ art is highly regarded as it works so well with the ominous nature of the text. It blends and flows so well, it is marvelous. The Watchmen has the best implementation of the ‘story within a story’ concept I’ve ever read, with The Tales of The Black Freighter being smooth and easy to follow.

This book is well worth your time. Over and over again it is worth the effort. Even if you’re not a comic reader or if you weren’t wowed by Zach Snyder’s Film adaptation, I recommend it. This is truly one of the great pieces of American art. With a diverse cast of characters and a intriguing plot, I cannot encourage you strongly enough to give it a read.  See a sample of the graphic novel here or go here to watch the motion comic.

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“It is not God who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds them to the dogs. It’s us.”

 

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the recently revived Bored Shenanigans podcast. Our newest series “Story Time” is available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry by downloading his latest e-book here. Be sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook. 

 

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Reviewing The Celebrated Jumping Frog Of Caleveras County

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Mark Twain is one of the most enjoyable writers to ever bless the art of literature. His unique wit and unmistakable style make some of the most fun reading. His use of language celebrates the everyman in a way that few other writers have been able to. Already being a fan, I knew I would enjoy this story. This is the story that put Mark Twain on the map. This is The Celebrated Jumping Frog Of Calaveras County.

The most relevant thing I can relay to any potential readers of this story is the substance is the least important part. This tale is all about the journey and far less about the destination. It follows the narrator, who is a western mining town for the first time. At the request of a friend, he meets a man named Leonidas W. Smiley. As opposed to giving the narrator the information he needs, Smiley weaves this overblown tale about a frog jumping contest.

The narrator suffers through the long winded tale of Smiley and interjects his opinions about it along the way. Presented in a clever way, Twain manages to capture the humor and suffering experienced when someone just won’t stop talking. Being a victim of your own courtesy can trap you in the wake of a windbag. The ending really makes this story and without ruining it, I must insist you take the time to read it. A short read, this provides a good escape and can easily be completed during a lunch break. I feel this is a great introduction to Mark Twain for new readers and a fantastic time killer for old fans. Enjoy this story here.

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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry by downloading his latest e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

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Sabres Of Infinity Review

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Do you want to play a game and read a book at the same time? Would you like to explore a fictional world that involves gunpowder and sorcery? Do you want something that is well written and original all at the same time? If so, Sabres of Infinity is the experience for you.

The creator, Paul Wong weaves a unique setting that has the player assume the role of a member of an aristocratic family who in deeply indebted. In order to relieve the debt, your family has sent the playable character to serve in the military. Through a series of options, you are allowed to chose the stats and characteristics of your character.

The story follows the character as they complete their training and interact with several of their peers. By selecting certain actions, your peers either become allies or rivals. After completing training and being assigned to active action you really get to see what an interesting setting the game provides.

The thing that really impressed me with this game was the writing. I found that I really began to care about the main character and his plight as he navigated the effects of battle. You find yourself dealing with hostile natives and questioning the motives of the war itself along with the manner in which your countrymen conduct themselves. It pushes the player to ask some deep questions whilst allowing you to immerse yourself in the character and the world presented.

I feel this game provides a great deal of replayability and I cannot wait to play it again and see what other options are available. I cannot wait to play the sequel Guns of Infinity and I feel that for the purchase price was well worth the price. All in all, this is worth the time and if you need a unique game with a great setting this is your choice. Check it out here.

 

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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry by downloading his latest e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

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Weekly Poetry Pick

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On Edgar Allan Poe’s birthday, I felt it appropriate to select some of his work. I believe that Poe’s reputation has preceded him.  He was a master wordsmith who contributed greatly to the genres of science fiction and the detective story. His signature macabre style and vast vocabulary still stand out amongst the throngs of written word. So in celebration of the man, I present to you one of my favorites.

 

 

 

Alone

From childhood’s hour I have not been
As others were — I have not seen
As others saw — I could not bring
My passions from a common spring —
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow — I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone —
And all I lov’d — I lov’d alone —
Then — in my childhood — in the dawn
Of a most stormy life — was drawn
From ev’ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still —
From the torrent, or the fountain —
From the red cliff of the mountain —
From the sun that ’round me roll’d
In its autumn tint of gold —
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass’d me flying by —
From the thunder, and the storm —
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view —

 

 

 

The above work was never printed during Poe’s lifetime. He signed a fan’s autograph book with it and after a stringent verification process, it was confirmed as his. I love the panache of Poe to sign an autograph with an original poem. Alone does a fantastic job of capturing the feelings we all have when we are by ourselves. It seeps through the words and highlights the small things that he has loved by himself. All that he loves, he loves wholly by himself. It mirrors each of us, as we have those things that we hold dearest but do so by ourselves, alone. For more of Poe’s excellent poetry, I suggest you go here.

 

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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry by downloading his latest e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

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Weekly Poetry Pick

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Bucky Sinister was the pseudonym, of David Lerner.  He was a renegade poet active in both the New York and San Francisco. He embraced the bohemian life and published a large number of articles in a variety of publications. He cofounded Zeitgeist Press which focused on publishing poets involved in the Babar Cafe. Affectionately known as the T.S. Elliot of the underground.

 

 

 

I Was With Her Long Enough To Change Brands of Cigarettes

We had split a bottle of wine and a pint of rum
before we went into the fair.
It started with a kiss on the ferris wheel.
I didn’t know that actually happened until then.
One of my favorite days of all time…

Six months later
I gave her money that she referred to as “fetus money.”
We were long over as a romantic couple.
That day she listed why she hated me.

I had told her that I was sorry and I said so again
but those words can’t take away a clumsy fuck.

The way she talked to me
it sounded like her mistakes
never hurt anyone but herself.
My mistakes have bad aim
and always seem to hit those near me.

This work oozes with the sarcastic wit of a failed relationship. It shows the rapid decline of infatuation with a candor often left out most writings. A cocktail mixing sinister dark imagery and profanity with a self-deprecating humor.  The above poem makes me wish that much more of Bucky Sinister’s poetry was collected and published before his death. Several of his works are featured in The Outlaw Bible Of American Poetry.  If beat poetry in the style of Ginsberg and Pablo Neruda are your thing, you will love his writings.

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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry by downloading his latest e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

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A Haunted House Review

“Nearer they come; cease at the doorway. The wind falls, the rain slides silver down the glass. Our eyes darken; we hear no steps beside us; we see no lady spread her ghostly cloak.”

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Virginia Woolf’s A Haunted House is the perfect holiday short story. Being the time of the year for warm fuzzies and loving family, this one will surprise you with the way the story flows. I believe that this work would fall into the realm of unconventional Christmas fiction. So if you are a Die Hard and A Nightmare Before Christmas as holiday material kind of person, I think this would be a good choice for you.

I thought this was an excellent jump off point to Virginia Woolf’s writing and if you find yourself enjoying this you will enjoy Mrs. Dalloway or The Waves. This work follows a narrator who resides in a haunted house in which two ghosts are searching for something. As the story progresses, the author discovers what the two spirits are looking for. The imagery used is both hauntingly playful and ends on an upbeat note.

Overall, this is a good way to spend thirty minutes. A quick paced, upbeat story that finds a way to both be eerie and uplifting. The author leaves the reader in an era of suspense throughout. In a world saturated by the same Christmas stories, I think this would be an excellent addition.  This is most certainly worth your time. Read it for free here.

“Death was the glass; death was between us;”

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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry by downloading his latest e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

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Weekly Poetry Pick

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Susan Firer is a professor at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee where she teaches women’s studies and creative writing. She has published six books of poetry and has been honored by her home city with the poet laureate.  Utilizing a vivacious and imaginative writing style she builds truly memorable poems.  You can view a  sample of her works here.

 

 

The Transit of Venus

The poppies start as aliens
end as husbands, a pause
of light, a dull scatter.
Transports dandelion clouds.
Venus passes between sun &
earth. Exceedingly rare, Transit,
have you noticed how close
the ode & elegy are?
(In the United States someone
dies every sixteen seconds!)
Husband, Supermoon, Venus
come & go. Death says there
is no you at the end of weather.
“Among the rarest of all predictable
astronomical . . .” Husband
presented me. The weatherman
says we are locked in the clouds.

The above is a great piece from Firer’s Transit of Venus.  I love this poem,  the way in which it connects all aspects of life so neatly. Successfully swirling wondrous mysteries and cosmic imagery into an elegant eighteen-line poem.  The final lines, in particular, resonated with me most of all. I will own this book, based solely on this poem and I hope that this writer continues to craft excellent verses for many years to come.

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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry by downloading his latest e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

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Reviewing Man Vs Snake

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I am a sucker for documentaries. Anything from the tsars of Russia to how a paperclip is made. I’ll watch deep thinking and downright stupid. My favorites are those without agenda bent on sharing a narrative for the sake of that narrative. This film did that better than any I have seen in quite some time and could easily be a front runner for on my favorite documentaries of all time.

Very much in the vein of King of Kong or Chasing Ghosts, Man Vs Snake delves into the world of vintage arcade game competition. It follows Tim Mcvey, who set a record score on Nibbler in his youth. When his score is beaten he comes out of retirement to reclaim his record.  Throughout the course of the flick, you find yourself really pulling for Tim. He seems like such a genuinely nice person, you really want him to taste success and reconquer his record score.

I’m not much into team sports movies that tell the tale of a miscreant group getting it together in the end.I am; however, a sucker for stories of people overcoming themselves and becoming victorious.  So if you need a nerdy, inspiring documentary this is the one for you.This movie hit me at a really good time. I needed motivation and it was delivered in spades. I related with Tim as he struggled to become a better person and it ended in a very uplifting way. Well directed and laced with little flourishes that really make it stand out, I highly encourage you to give Man Vs Snake a watch.

 

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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry by downloading his latest e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

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Reviewing War Is a Racket

“Three steps must be taken to smash the war racket. 1) We must take the profit out of war. 2) We must permit the youth of the land who would bear arms to decide whether or not there should be war. 3) We must limit our military forces to home defense purposes.”

 

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Major General Smedley Butler wrote this work in 1935 after retiring from the United States Marine Corps. It is an expansion of a speech of the same title. Butler, a career military officer served from 1898 until 1931. During his tenure, he received two Medals of Honor, A Marine Corps Brevet Star, an Order of the Black Star and twelve other awards or medals. He was highly praised during his career and upon retiring he became an outspoken critic of the military system.

I am so glad that I was turned onto this book. Having someone so decisively and drastically critique their entire profession is astounding. He examines the way in which the United States wages war and breaks it down into five easy to follow sections. His sarcastic demeanor really adds some personality to this work. His heart is truly in the pages of this book. He sees war as a crime that is paid for by innocents in lives lost and money taken, as the title suggests he compares the war system to organized crime. He is brutally critical of the ‘military-industrial complex’ in a enlightened and refreshing way.  These were some of the best fourteen pages I’ve ever set my eyes on.

This book should be read in every history class. While some of the solutions presented are not the most practical or realistic, it could open a dialogue that could lead to some true answers. I believe that Butler’s wit and candor would really push even the most staunch military supports to reexamine the way in which foreign entanglements are conducted. This work reached fame when published in the Reader’s Digest in the thirties. I would really like to see another major publication take a chance and reprint this. I hope that all my readers will take a minute to enjoy this, I’ve included a link to the PDF here.

 

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“In the World War, we used propaganda to make the boys accept conscription. They were made to feel ashamed if they didn’t join the army.”

 

 

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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry by downloading his latest e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

Weekly Poetry Pick

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Jim Morrison is a rock and roll icon. His dynamic songwriting and piercing vocals helped propel The Doors to the legendary status they enjoy amongst music lovers. Easily one of the greatest frontmen of all time, Morrison’s charismatic way with words is something to behold. His collections of writings and poems are compelling and moving. I’d highly recommend any of them to fans of his music or just fans of surrealistic poetry, these are for you. There are a few examples of his poems on the following link.

 

Power

I can make the earth stop in

its tracks. I made the

blue cars go away.

I can make myself invisible or small.

I can become gigantic & reach the

farthest things. I can change

the course of nature.

I can place myself anywhere in

space or time.

I can summon the dead.

I can perceive events on other worlds,

in my deepest inner mind,

& in the minds of others.

I can

I am

The above is from Wilderness: The Lost Writings of Jim Morrison. While some have claimed this book is inaccessible, I never found it as such. I enjoyed this poem and the vast journey the reader is taken upon with it. The vastness and mental imagery are excellent and this could easily have a been a portion of a song. I found the transitions well done and you sort of waft through the entire piece until arriving at the end. All in all, this is a great bit of writing by an incredible writer. Truly Jim Morrison’s verses are some of the humanities’ finest.

 

 

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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry by downloading his latest e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

Reviewing The Communist Manifesto

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“The proletarians have nothing to loose but their chains. They have a world to win.”

 

Of everything I’ve read in the Adult Book Reports, this is probably the most notorious. Whether it is looked at as gospel or heresy,this is the book that inspired both revolution and McCarthyism. This is one of those banned books that I’m sure the purchase of puts me on a government watch list. This is Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels most well-known work. This is The Communist Manifesto.

This book was very difficult for me to read objectively.  I am diametrically opposed to almost every idea held within it. I do not believe that private property, free markets, and minimal government are the evils presented in the text. After I was able to disconnect my own personal views with what was presented within the manifesto, I partially understood its appeal. To throw off the oppressive overlords and have working class unite against them. To give the power back to those who sell their labor to merely scratch by. To get away from the oppressive hierarchy and have an equal share. Written in a persuasive and almost motivational manner, this book really pushes its points home through the writing. Marx and Engels obviously are true believers in their dogma and it reverberates throughout the text. They genuinely want everyone to have an equal shot at the surrounding and feel by uniting the downtrodden, this will be achieved.

When originally distributed this was a pamphlet. It is also presented in a way to appeal to the lowest common denominator. The target audience is obviously the poor and uneducated who will tear down the oppressive hierarchy. Those who are underfoot by tyranny will see this as a guiding light and begin to establish the ideas within. Divided into four parts, it can be easily recounted to others and broken down into small blurbs. It is an amazing piece of propaganda on par with something from the Civil Defense Corps or radical religious material. It is a powerful, persuasive and incredibly well-written text. It pushed me to think and examine my own politics, but never in any real way to convert me. If anything, whilst reading this I often found myself questioning the purpose of the state at all. This was an interesting read, if only for its historical significance.  If you feel the need to read this, take it with a grain of salt.

 

 

“WORKING MEN OF ALL COUNTRIES, UNITE!”

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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry by downloading his latest e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

Excuse Me While I Disarm

 

 

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“Remember the first rule of gunfighting … have a gun.” – Col. Jeff Cooper

 

 

Concealing a firearm is a pain in the ass. I mean a royal pain in the ass. Those who choose to conceal carry know this all too well. There is a sadomasochist nature in trying to keep a piece of steel and/or polymer hidden. It is an abusive relationship between comfort and concealment. It is a balance of concessions, as the gun you carry is often not your favorite nor the one which you shoot the best. You will find yourself constantly comparing your current carry gun to others on the market and debating the merits of the two. When you do choose a firearm you then find yourself cycling through holsters to find a reasonably cozy and practical option. You are in a constant state of flux and always open to selecting a better option.  

After you have chosen the combination of gun, holster and carry method you become fiercely loyal to it. Once your functional layout becomes a habit, it becomes second nature to equip it each day. Without any additional thoughts, you find yourself putting on your gun each morning along with fresh underwear and deodorant. It becomes a necessary part of your life. It is a tool you dare not go anywhere without. You feel as ready as you can be if danger comes. You train as much as possible with your chosen tool and have developed a relationship with it. You may own multiple firearms, but that one is your go to carry gun. You’re always aware that it is there, but it doesn’t consume your every thought. It is an old friend that is ever present.

Then it happens. You arrive at a location where due to local laws or regulations you are not permitted to conceal carry. Standing outside of that location an internal dialogue erupts. Do you ignore the sign and rules or do you proceed? Does the current situation and environment allow an easy and safe way to remove your firearm? What happens if this is the day you really need that gun? My friends and family usually know what it means when I go to back to the car before I enter a facility. If questioned I usually utter the phrase “Excuse me while I disarm.” I remove my handgun, secure it and return to the party I came with. As we proceed I try to not make a big deal out of it, but it is. Not getting into the politics involved, I hate being unarmed. If I am awake, I generally have a firearm on me or close. It is my choice and I do it safely. When I am forced to remove it, I feel exposed. I am very aware that I do not have a pistol on or near me. I find myself hoping that this is not the day I will desperately need an effective means of defense. The day is overshadowed by “what ifs” instead of “what ares”. The entire experience never as enjoyable as it could be. I would feel much better if this place allowed me to carry and I know I am not alone.

My final thought is this, if you own a business maybe you should rethink that no guns allowed sign. It has an effect on your customers, but many will never voice this. Most will quietly cooperate, but I highly doubt they will frequent a place that doesn’t allow them to conceal carry. It is a heavy decision for me to remove a firearm and enter any establishment, no matter what wonders lie behind those doors.

 

 

“Carrying a gun isn’t supposed to be comfortable, it is supposed to be a comfort” -Clint Smith

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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry by downloading his latest e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

The Island of Dr. Moreau Review

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“The crying sounded even louder out of doors. It was as if all the pain
in the world had found a voice”

 

 

H.G. Wells is a master of science fiction. His works helped define the genre and are still heralded as fantastic. His works have been adapted into every conceivable form of entertainment and his ideas presented are still used or improved upon. I’ve read his most well-known works like War of the Worlds, The Invisible Man, The Time Machine and The First Men on the Moon.  Wells’ ability to commit such imaginative things to paper in a concise manner is pretty astounding.

The Island of Dr. Moreau is a book I’ve wanted to read for quite some time. I’ve seen the abysmal 1996 movie and knew that the world had far more potential than presented in that film. This book was a highly entertaining read. From the very beginning the protagonist, Edward Prendick was easy to identify with. A man of science who wound up in the wrong place at the wrong time. He is thrust into a world filled with savage heresy that he cannot fully comprehend. Wells does a great job of building the anticipation for meeting the doctor. His reputation precedes him with a sense of electric tension. When finally seen, Doctor Moreau is every bit of mad genius you want him to be. His fanatic dedication to his craft is his all-consuming goal is awe inspiring. He quickly dismisses the pain he causes as a necessary evil to his overall goal.  The dichotomy between Prendick and Moreau is a vast chasm, revolving mostly around their ideals of science. Prendick is aghast at the barbarism he sees and not until the conclusion do you see how deeply he was impacted.

There are multiple parallels between this book and Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. The ideas of “playing god” and creatures versus creator is explored thoroughly. The reader explores this well thought out theme and it forces them to deeply reflect upon it. I admired the way that the author balanced these thoughts with a cohesive plot. As the reader, you sympathize with Moreau’s creatures. In the climactic final struggle, you find yourself fully rooting against the Doctor. I enjoyed this book very much and highly recommend it. The end is depressing, but I feel that it benefits the overall story greatly. A relatively short read, this was well worth the four hours it took to finish.

 

 

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“I must confess that I lost faith in the sanity of the world”

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry by downloading his latest e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

Electioneering and How I Learned the Limits of Free Speech

 

It was two o’clock on your average early voting day. People standing in line in a state appointed building. Filing through the line and answering question about their voting status.  I stood amid the throngs, holding my voter registration card, my state ID and my diligently researched sample ballot so I could chose the best representative who coincided with my beliefs. Oh, and I was also wearing this.

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As the line spiraled toward the actual booths, one of the volunteers said that I couldn’t vote in the shirt I had chosen. It was a violation of the Texas polling place laws, where your intentions of which candidate you choose cannot be displayed. I was a bit shocked at this, but I was offered alternatives. I could either turn it inside out or they had an apron I could wear over it. I declined both methods of being controlled and quietly left. Over the last few days, I have voraciously read and researched the regulations around what is called, electioneering.  To the best of my knowledge I had violated the following.

Sec. 61.003.  ELECTIONEERING AND LOITERING NEAR POLLING PLACE.  (a)  A person commits an offense if, during the voting period and within 100 feet of an outside door through which a voter may enter the building in which a polling place is located, the person:
(1)  loiters;  or
(2)  electioneers for or against any candidate, measure, or political party.
(a-1)  The entity that owns or controls a public building being used as a polling place may not, at any time during the voting period, prohibit electioneering on the building’s premises outside of the area described in Subsection (a), but may enact reasonable regulations concerning the time, place, and manner of electioneering.
(b)  In this section:
(1)  “Electioneering” includes the posting, use, or distribution of political signs or literature.
(2)  “Voting period” means the period beginning when the polls open for voting and ending when the polls close or the last voter has voted, whichever is later.
(c)  An offense under this section is a Class C misdemeanor.”

This article is not intended to be a woeful tale of how my voting rights were violated, I went back several days later and cast my ballot in attire that was acceptable for the state mandated dress code. I am of the belief censoring the political intentions of anyone, especially at the place of voting is heresy. To determine that these freedoms are benign in designated places baffles me. When I recounted this tale to family and friends, I was met with confusion that I didn’t know this rule as law. The most cursory Google search corroborated their opinions. It also revealed that every election cycle a handful of people are either removed from polling places, arrested or fined for electioneering violations.

If voting is performing your civic duty or patriotic responsibility, shouldn’t fundamental human rights be observed during those actions? Applying a wide allotment of restrictions to a place, simply because it has a voting booth is counter productive and wrong. The bureaucratic process of voting is already a hassle, but only the stupid or determined will persevere through the gauntlet of inconvenience to cast a vote. It seems with every passing moment, additional limitations are placed upon your ability to merely exist. The hardest ones for me to swallow are the ones buried so deep in rhetoric, you discover them only by unwillingly defying them. Land of the free, indeed.

 

 

I found the following to be of great use on this subject

http://law.bepress.com/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=4685&context=expresso

http://www.statutes.legis.state.tx.us/Docs/EL/htm/EL.61.htm

http://www.snopes.com/politics/ballot/electioneering.asp

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry by downloading his latest e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Weekly Poetry Pick

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Dorianne Laux is an award winning poet whose free verse poetry has a simple and elegant meter to it. Her ability to draw the reader into the beauty of the everyday is astounding. Laux has taught creative writing at the University of Oregon, Pacific University, and North Carolina State University and lives in North Carolina with her husband.  I strongly encourage all my readers to visit her site.

Ray at 14

by Dorianne Laux

Bless this boy, born with the strong face
of my older brother, the one I loved most,
who jumped with me from the roof
of the playhouse, my hand in his hand.
On Friday nights we watched Twilight Zone
and he let me hold the bowl of popcorn,
a blanket draped over our shoulders,
saying, Don’t be afraid. I was never afraid
when I was with my big brother
who let me touch the baseball-size muscles
living in his arms, who carried me on his back
through the lonely neighborhood,
held tight to the fender of my bike
until I made him let go.
The year he was fourteen
he looked just like Ray, and when he died
at twenty-two on a roadside in Germany
I thought he was gone forever.
But Ray runs into the kitchen: dirty T-shirt,
torn jeans, pushes back his sleeve.
He says, Feel my muscle, and I do.

 

 

I found the above poem thanks to the Writer’s Almanac Podcast with Garrison Keillor. I truly enjoyed this work. The writer does a commendable job of paying tribute to the deceased while showing the love she holds for Ray. It pushes the reader to connect with their own life and draw the parallel that when someone passes, they are never truly gone. I found a lot of comfort in the message from this poem and look forward to reading more work from this poet.

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry by downloading his latest e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

Reviewing Black Mirror Season 3

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I love anthology series with twisted themes and dark satire of the modern society. From Twilight Zone to Outer Limits to Tales from the Crypt, these are the shows that appeal to me most. The first two seasons of Black Mirror were easily some of the best television I have experienced as a viewer. Charlie Booker’s ability to create such well written scenarios pushes you to a explore emotions and thoughts rarely examined on your own.

I’ve looked forward to the new releases via Netflix for some time now. My anticipation was pretty high going in and this season did not disappoint. Thematically this season focused more heavily on the culture’s relationship with technology and communication than the previous two seasons. I particularly enjoyed how it dared to peer into the future and make some startling predictions about what will become societal norms. From the open of episode one, this season was exemplary. Each episode felt more connected than they had in the past, but I think that thread helped the overall journey.

Outside of the fourth episode ”San Junipero” , season three of Black Mirror was stellar. I’ve rewatched them all and as always the finale was one of the strongest episodes of the season. I find myself eagerly awaiting the next thing this show has to offer. I cannot recommend this show highly enough and it was easily the best thing I saw all of the Halloween season. Go watch it now.

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

The Witch Review

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Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?

 

 

Occasionally as an adult, you lose touch with the mystery and wonder that fairy tales bring. You find yourself mired in the reality of life and forget what is lying just beyond sight. What is lurking in the darkness, just out of reach. The Witch does an excellent job of bringing those fears to the front.

First off, this is a fantastic horror movie. I mean fantastic. It goes all in by shoving you into the atmosphere of early 1600s New England. It envelopes you in a world that forces you to believe in witchcraft. Aided by well executed dialogue and some stellar child acting the viewer sees the zealot nature of the protagonists. The earnestness of their convictions make the threats presented become all the greater to the viewer. The tension is built consistently and evenly until it reaches a highly compelling climax.

The thing I enjoyed about this movie more than anything else, was it’s return to classic tropes. In this movie, witches worship the devil, seduce and eat children, sacrifice animals and bathe in the blood of virgins. It builds on the legends from childhood stories and makes them genuinely scary. This movie gives you second thoughts about walking in the woods alone. A great addition to any Halloween.  

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

Reviewing The Purge Franchise

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….Incoming reports show this year’s Purge has been the most successful to date, with the most murders committed

 

It is rare that a series of films, let alone horror films are good through the duration of their chapters. There is usually a sharp decline in storytelling and usually by the time the series dies, fans find themselves apologizing for it. Anyone who like the first Paranormal Activity can’t enjoy the direction the franchise has taken. The Purge series has managed to be enjoyable and interesting with each new film. With a fourth film in the works, this series continues to expand on a universe that the viewer would like to see more of.

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When The Purge was released in 2013, I was pretty enthused about it. The entire dynamic of this world interested me. Citizens living in a place where a government sanctioned night of crime was encouraged.  It sounded like all the good parts of both Star Trek and the Twilight Zone. I wasn’t too into this movie when I saw it the first time, but with each subsequent viewing I have enjoyed it more and more. While it plays like a pretty standard home invasion movie, as the series has expanded it serves as a unique window into this world.

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In the second movie, Anarchy the audience finally sees the violence and mayhem from a first person perspective. Taking place one year after the first film, it leads our newly introduced protagonists through the Los Angeles streets. You see the depravity on a scale only hinted at in the first movie. Seeing the monstrous things humans will do to one another when they are legal really forces the viewer to think. In my estimation this is the strongest film of the series.

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The latest movie, Election Year has garnered the most critical and commercial success. Taking place eighteen years after the previous film, this one delves into the ruling structure of this world. It shows the motives of administration and the twisted turn someone who has grown up in a world of purging can be like. I wasn’t too fond of the ending, but the ideas they throw at the viewer are astounding. This is the most thought provoking and sentimental of the series.

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All in all, these movies are great at getting you to care about the characters involved and putting them into a suspenseful environment. Danger is only a step away and anyone can be your undoing. The antagonists are portrayed as both menacing and diabolical. They truly push the plot along and waiting for the next image of savagery keeps you engaged. These films are very enjoyable and I look forward to the next offering in the story. These are certainly worth your time.

 

 

Just remember all the good the Purge does.

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

 

 

Nosferatu The Vampyre(1979)

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Time is an abyss…

 

During the month of October our tradition is to watch a horror movie every night all thirty one days. I usually don’t have a plan or a theme, I just snatch films at random. I always try to sample some of the newest offerings or at least enjoy a few that I haven’t ever seen.  As with most traditions, I have a few I favorites I’ll rewatch every year. No Halloween is complete without The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, The Omen, The Creature from the Black Lagoon and my personal favorite, Nosferatu.   

Nosferatu is a silent film horror classic. An unauthorized adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula the iconic imagery of this film is deeply embedded into popular culture.  Max Schreck’s portrayal of the monster was so convincing, rumors of him actually being a vampire still circulate. Nosferatu is so great on every level it physically hurts, I will always enthusiastically recommend it.  During my searching for movies I came across the West German remake from 1979 called Nosferatu the Vampyre. I have seen the title before, but I assumed it was just another recut of the original. There are several edits that have added different styles of music and whatnot trying to increase the experience. As I looked into this movie, it is highly reviewed. Extremely highly reviewed. Everything from the set design to the acting were giving shining, 5 star marks from all critics. How can I not watch such a marvel? How could my Halloween not include such a masterpiece?

Maybe I am not the target audience or I am too dense to appreciate the subtle artisitc nuiances employed in this movie, but this movie sucked. This movie fucking sucked and I don’t mean a little, I mean a lot. It was so goddamn tedious to sit through and managed committed the most egregious sin of all, mediocrity.  When a remake is so boring it makes you question the quality of the original and the source material simultaneously, you have truly achieved something. I really don’t understand how this thing was given the golden crown of cinematic achievement by so many people. I didn’t do anything for me other than make me wish to watch the original. I didn’t see the point of this remake at all, when a movie as stellar as the 1922 film exists.  Save yourself some time and the only enjoy the Nosferatu worth knowing.

 

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Death is not the worst. There are things more horrible than death.

 

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

Halloween Matters

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“If ever there was a holiday that deserves to be commercialized, it’s Halloween. We haven’t taken it away from kids. We’ve just expanded it so that the kid in adults can enjoy it, too.” -Cassandra Peterson

 

With the thirty-first fast approaching, I would like to remind everyone that Halloween is the greatest time of the year. It’s that special, magical season when all things spooky and paranormal are embraced. When kids go door to door and solicit for candy. When horror movies flow like water and women are allowed to dress extra slutty and not be called whores. When makeshift haunted houses rise from the nothing and sell cheap jump scares. This holiday allows us all to disconnect from our daily live and to play make believe.

The most important service that Halloween offers is it allows us to enjoy the macabre. At some level, we all fight the evil inside ourselves. All of us possess inner gremlins that are held at bay by our own conscience. Halloween allows us to see that internalized terror and brings it to the forefront. In reality there are mysterious horrors lurking around corners and deplorable acts waiting to occur. There is little ways to combat these threats outside of vigilance and preparation. With Halloween, we get to read the monster novels, wear the costumes of supernatural, and make light of the devils that scurry about. Zombies, ghouls and ghosts are fantastic ways to face the fears we all have. By taking some flavor of fictionalized fiend and spinning it into art or entertainment we embrace the best parts of humanity while still acknowledging the worst.

Creativity and imagination flourish more so during the month of October than any other time of year. It is the rare occurrence when ingenuity finds a way to rise to the top, even if it is for the sake of costuming and decorating. So I encourage you to dress up, give candy to trick or treaters and listen to the Monster Mash. In the end, we should have some fun with our own dark side.

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

Burmese Days Review

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“But the whole expedition -the very notion of wanting to rub shoulders with all those smelly natives -had impressed her badly. She was perfectly certain that that was not how white men ought to behave.”

 

Burmese Days was George Orwell’s first novel, published in 1934. Set in 1920s Burma it follows a timber merchant and the people that ripple in and out of his life. The motivations, while important are far less pertinent to this story than the interactions within it. This story does an excellent job showing what life was like for natives and Europeans living in imperialistic Burma.

The setting that Orwell builds here is fantastic. He goes to great pains to have the reader see what the interactions between the natives and the colonists are. It becomes clear that the colonists do not see the natives as equals, but rather tools and resources to be used to their own end. It also becomes clear as the novel progresses that Orwell loved Burma. His descriptions of the environment and the geography are so vibrant that it becomes clear that he truly loved it there.

The thing that I found most interesting in this novel was it’s ability to highlight the degrading British Empire. In this work it is obvious that years of rule by England have worn down the Burmese people. Corruption exists at a casual level as everyone is vying to gain a little bit more wealth or power. Though subtle and laced throughout, this theme shows early signs of what would become indicative of Orwell’s writing. He does a commendable job showing what a long period of rule from a far away state does to a group of people.

Overall, I enjoyed this book. It was simple to follow and while a bit dull in parts, the ability it had to keep the reader engaged. The infusion of Burmese culture never let you lose sight of the setting of the story and was tastefully sprinkled throughout. I read this book in about two days and found it to be worth the time spent. For those Orwell enthusiasts like myself, give Burmese Days a try.

 

“It is one of the tragedies of the half-educated that they develop late, when they are already committed to some wrong way of life.”

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

George Orwell Complete Poetry Review

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-…Nothing believing, nothing loving,
Not in joy nor in pain, not heeding the stream
Of precious life that flows within us,
But fighting, toiling as in a dream…-

 

I’ll be honest, this collection of poetry wasn’t what I expected. More accurately it wasn’t what I wanted it to be. I desperately wanted left leaning, anti-totalitarian verse draped in social satire. I wanted elegant lines questioning the very intention of imperialism. I wanted first hand experiences of humanity falling into mob mentality. I really wanted to fall in love with this book.  I wanted to be as infatuated by this collection as I’ve become with Orwell’s essays and novels. I wanted this to be the shining gem of Orwell September. I wanted this to be something, it was never going to be.

For a little background, this collection was published in October of 2015 after being withheld for many years by Orwell’s estate. By the author’s own admittance, he never held much fondness for his poetry.  This book gathers some of his earliest writings from his youth  all the way to his later life. It does a commendable job of prefacing them, so the reader can more fully appreciate the events of Orwell’s life. From the standpoint of historical interest and curiosity’s sake, it is fun to see how much his style evolved, but that is about where the fun ends. The poetry just isn’t very good.  In the words of  Dione Venable, the editor of this collection, “Orwell wasn’t a wonderful poet, but in his poetry he’s gloomy, he’s funny, he’s happy, he’s sad, and in the last things he wrote, you feel his pain.” As you read through it, you see him experimenting with  various styles and rhyme schemes but few ever seem to really resonate.

Now that the negatives are out of the way, there are a few pieces in this collection that are quite good.  In particular I enjoyed Ironic Poem About Prostitution and As One Non Combatant to Another. The dark satire that reverberates in these works is familiar to the fans of his writing. They provide a glimmer of what I had hoped for when I found this book. Other than a few lines from a smattering of poems, this entire collection left me feeling a bit flat. It was eighty two pages of mediocrity. I appreciated seeing another side of such a highly exalted author. I enjoyed seeing small shades of his excellent novels in these poems. Unless you’ve read everything else he’s ever written or your inquisitive nature just can’t let this one go, I would suggest you just pass on it. Sadly, this is the first Orwell I’ve ever read that I can’t really recommend.

 

 

Pagan
So here are you, and here am I,
Where we may thank our gods to be;
Above the earth, beneath the sky,
Naked souls alive and free.
The autumn wind goes rustling by
And stirs the stubble at our feet;
Out of the west it whispering blows,
Stops to caress and onward goes,
Bringing its earthy odours sweet.
See with what pride the the setting sun
Kinglike in gold and purple dies,
And like a robe of rainbow spun
Tinges the earth with shades divine.
That mystic light is in your eyes
And ever in your heart will shine.

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

Why I Write Review

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This essay is one of George Orwell’s most highly touted. With it, he uses his own evolution as a author to show the reader what makes a good writer.  He analyzes his childhood writings and through a contemplative lens, he shows what motivations shaped him. This essay is a refreshing and interesting look at a person’s journey, laced with excellent insights into one of the greatest writers of all time.

Orwell breaks down all writer’s motives into the following four characteristics; sheer egoism, aesthetic enthusiasm, historical impulse and political purpose.  He states that these four exist with varying degrees of intensity, depending upon the writer’s environment and personality. I rather enjoy the notion that all literature has been penned by people under the influence of the four above ideals. It takes some of the intangible out of writing, while still pushing one to ask even more questions.

More than anything in this essay, Orwell’s discussion of his creative choices made during the process of writing Animal Farm is excellent. He made a conscious effort to blend political ideology into an artistic narrative. For an author to look back objectively at their own works and discuss their merits and failings is valuable. You see how his tastes changed and how fluidly his work reflected the environment he inhabited. This short essay is worth the read, as it provides a fascinating opportunity to see inside the mind of George Orwell and what he felt motivated a writer. 

 

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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

Animal Farm Review

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With Orwell September in full swing, how could we neglect one of his most well known works?  This novella takes place on a rural English farm in which animals begin a revolution to overthrow their oppressive farmer. Deeply symbolic and easy to follow, it is simple to see why Animal Farm is so highly regarded.

This novel was mandatory reading when I was in high school. I didn’t really understand or care for it then. It seemed highly overrated and somewhat stupid. I recall making ignorant, snarky comparisons to the movie Babe. The allegorical use of animals to the 1917 Russian Revolution and the Stalinist era that followed, didn’t do much for me. Looking back I feel this book was mostly presented as anti communist tome and the deeper issues inside it were outright ignored. I remember discussions about who each character represented, but it was taken with a misguided slant toward patriotism and not a study of political structure.

I feel one point my high school literature teacher missed was how good this book is at explaining how the state works to anyone. Written in a direct and easy to follow form, it does an commendable job of illustrating the cycle of tyranny. Showing the reader how honest, well meaning ideas are agreed upon and slowly manipulated by the powerful and intelligent over the less powerful and less intelligent. Good intentions are quickly forgotten when one group can gain at the expense of another. The social and political constructs in this book are so true to life that the reader is forced to draw parallels to the ones that surround them. 

Dystopian novels rarely show the decline and fall, instead you usually see society at the lowest form. Animal Farm takes great pains to highlight multiple instances in which you see the society breaking down. You feel the plight these animals suffer as more and more things are taken from them.Orwell pushes the reader to ask if the revolution was worth it, or if the animals were better off with the farmer in charge. It alludes to a multitude of political theories and schools of thought, plus highlights how many changes a charismatic leader can make.

This book is goddamn great, truly goddamn great. I rediscovered it a few years after high school and it has been one of my favorites since that time. You can read it in an afternoon  without trying too hard, but it is the sort of novel that stays with you. If you didn’t like it when it was a mandatory read, I believe it deserves another chance. With the upcoming election season be political, read some Orwell. I believe that you will truly enjoy the time spent. Animal Farm proves that while all books are equal, some are more equal than others.

 

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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

Moments Like This Never Last

 

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The Misfits are the greatest band of all time. I can state this with utmost sincerity and fervent devotion. Their ability to blend horror themes with fast paced punk rock have made them musical icons. The fiend skull logo has become quite familiar and has snuck it’s way into multiple venues of pop culture. Even the those unfamiliar with the music will recognize the brand. As with any long lasting, group they will go through multiple incarnations. I’ve caught a lot of heat from purists for not decrying one “era” over another but honestly there is nary an “era” of their music I don’t enjoy. From the early 70s to the rebirth in the late 90s to the latest incarnation featuring just one founding member. They strike a part of my person that few other artists seem to. As the lineups have changed, I’ve followed any former member’s current project with interest simply because of their association with The Misfits. This band is infectious and fantastic.

Last Sunday, Denver’s Riot Fest was big news for any fan of The Misfits or any fan of punk rock in general. For first time in thirty three years the founding members of Glen Danzig, Jerry Only and Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein ascended the stage. Accompanied on drums by Dave Lombardo of Slayer fame, the anxious crowd was stunned as they flawlessly performed twenty songs spanning their ‘77-’83 catalog. One of the most influential and charismatic punk bands of all time had returned to fill the world with their signature brand of macabre music. With this concert in Denver going so well there are already rumors of a full scale reunion tour happening.

This performance makes me exceptionally excited. I’ve followed the hype surrounding this reassembly with the kind of glee only a gushing by a punk rock fan boy can. Years of lawsuits and personal barbs thrown by band members at one another made any sort of reconciliation seem highly unlikely, yet here I sit glowing in the happy aftermath of a reunion. I desperately want a nationwide tour and a studio album and am I am giddy with the notion of seeing the original crew live on stage together. So few truly quintessential musicians pass through a given time period, but with such positive news coming from this year’s Riot Fest, the opportunity may be closer for us all.

If you find that your current music choices are lacking songs about vampires and Martians perhaps you should start growing your devil lock, get your fiend club membership card ready and enjoy some mighty fine Misfits here and here.

 
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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

Shooting an Elephant Review

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George Orwell is a titan of literature. He has coined concepts and ideas that are so deeply embedded into popular consciousness we forget they haven’t always been there. Most of us know him as a novelist, but during his life his journalistic writing were his most well known. Around the Bored Shenanigans studio we are rabid Orwell fans and cite his works with far too much regularity. So for no particular reason we present, Orwell September. This month all of our Adult Book Reports will be reviews of Orwell works.

The first work I’m reading this month is one of his highest reviewed essays, Shooting an Elephant. This story follows an English police officer stationed in Burma who is called upon to shoot a mad elephant. While never directly stated, It is assumed the narrator is Orwell speaking from personal experience. That fact is disputed as no provable historical account of these events exist. In my opinion this is written with too much earnestness to be completely fictional.

On of my favorite things about George Orwell’s writing style is the sophisticated simplicity. If ever there was a master of doing more with less, it is him. In this essay, the events are neither complex nor cunning but with precision he shows the tension between the locals and the British occupiers. It forces the reader to examine the two clashing cultures and the results of the British Empire’s seizure of that area. It allows the reader to see the author’s true opinion of the totalitarian rule without ever directly saying it.

The climax of this essay is something to behold. It drives home the themes throughout in both a subtle and substantial way. It cleanly states the essay’s purpose whilst still forcing the reader to ask more questions. It using symbolism in all the best ways and ends with some stellar final lines of dialogue. I highly recommend this and clocking in at less that thirty minutes it is definitely worth your time.

 

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Check back next week as we sink our teeth into more George Orwell.

 

Read Shooting an Elephant free here.

 

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

 

 

 

Anthems Aren’t Sacred

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I really don’t care about football. I really don’t care about the Superbowls or endorsement ads or deflated gates, I don’t care. Now if you took my lack of caring for that and quantified it exponentially, then you have how much I care about mainstream media’s opinion on things. Honestly, before the last few days I had never heard of Colin Kaepernick. I’m sure he is a fine athlete and worked hard to get his job, but I was as aware of him as he is of me. This is neither an indictment nor an endorsement of him remaining seated during the national anthem. He is exercising his free speech whilst those who are outraged and offended are exercising theirs. It’s America through and through, instant controversy over a meaningless game followed by reanalysis.

This latest fiasco is just one many where someone does the unexpected during a national anthem. Even the laziest Google search will corroborate that fact. People have been getting offended during America’s special song for so long. Somehow I doubt that Francis Scott Key wrote this song knowing the ire that would be raised by non participants or etiquette breakers. Beyond that, I highly doubt that he intended it be sung before every team sports event across the land. Does the audience there, eager to be entertained gain anything from it? Do we feel more patriotic afterwards? Does anyone really care? I think not, so I say we stop using it.

The national anthem at events is just one more piece of pomp and circumstance not necessary for anyone’s enjoyment of an event. The patrons are just there to have fun. Realistically it’s use is pretty inconsistent. It is used before every tee ball and pee wee soccer game but not before a sold out concert. It is sung with gusto during a parade, but not before a car auction. So why use it at all? If it is going to be a lighting rod for controversy, why not reserve it for political events and the like. Wheel out the anthem for big ceremonial events and not every trite, third tier semi pro ball game. Everyone just cooperates out of programming and routine. We put our hands over our hearts like our elementary teacher taught us to. It is just a red, white and blue lullaby for most people ready to see what they bought their tickets for.

I’m sure the ‘freedom isn’t free’ crowd will object to this. They believe that flag ought be worshipped and the scriptures of the anthem sung. Fine, exercise your fundamental human rights. Embrace your ruler. I just don’t think it matters at all. Patriotism isn’t mitigated by participation in a song. Stop using the anthem as a tool to provoke ostracism to those with different opinions. Stop forcing political agendas into our light-hearted entertainment. Stop assuming you know the founding father’s opinions on events this trivial. Just stop. Why don’t we just let the people get their popcorn and  and stop delaying the game. Why don’t we just accept that it wastes time and drags out the entire event? No one came to hear the national anthem. Let’s keep some perspective, it’s still just a guy sitting during a song.

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

The Beautiful and the Damned Review

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F. Scott Fitzgerald’s second novel is a great read. It follows through the course of their relationship, from the joys of infatuation to the committed stages’ hardships. It uses the early 1900s cafe culture as an interesting backdrop and really allows the reader to see the complexity that exist with each character. Before I get rolling too deeply into this, one comparison must be made. This book is everything Ernest Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises wasn’t. As much as I love Hemingway, this story told a similar tale in a much more enjoyable and captivating way. Horrible to say, as I know these two authors had a deep dislike for one another.

This is my first exposure to Fitzgerald’s writings. He is much more well known for his masterwork, The Great Gatsby. While that novel does seem interesting, I found this recommendation on a list of most underrated books and I feel that is a fair estimate. If you are looking for a romantic comedy style story that could easily be adapted to a Meg Ryan movie, this isn’t what you want. If you are looking for a cynical and realistic portrayal of flawed and selfish people whose love for one another has to endure trials and upheaval, this is your book.

The author’s writing style is simple and beautiful.There are multiple quotable lines spread through the text I had a difficult time nailing down one. The tone is a strange poetic elegance I haven’t really encountered anywhere else. The way in which he so clearly and cleanly becomes the vessel through which his character’s speak is incredible. The effect that their environment of decadence and the social structure in which they reside becomes ever clearer as the novel progresses, but not distractingly so. The author balances the line of a morality tale and an enjoyable narrative in a way that is rarely seen, especially amongst current literature.

The major downside to this book is it really comes to a screeching halt near the middle, I actually took a few weeks to finish this one. I cared enough to return to it, something I rarely do when I abandon a book in the middle. I was grateful I finished it, because I got closure on the characters within. The committed reader could knock this out in a few days, but I think this is best kept as a bedside book. Something to enjoy a few chapters at a time over a longer duration otherwise it does become somewhat ponderous. Overall, I got a lot of entertainment out of this story. I really enjoyed Fitzgerald’s style of writing and think this is a good entry point into the man’s work. This was definitely worth the time spent.

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Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

Your Heroes Were Human Once

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“When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.” Those words from The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance felt very appropriate for this article. It seems that in any community there are always certain people whose reputation precedes them and are held up to a godlike standard. In the firearms community, some of those demi gods are Jeff Cooper, John Browning, Massad Ayoob and Elmer Keith.

We’re going to focus on Elmer Keith here. For those of you who aren’t the gun nerd that I am, Elmer Keith was a prolific firearms writer and enthusiast. He wrote for multiple firearms publications and had nine books published. He was instrumental in developing the .357 magnum, the .44 magnum and the .41 magnum. He developed the “Keith” style bullet which offers more reliable penetration for hunting applications. Over the tenure of his life, he influenced so many people and became known as quite the polarizing figure.

These are the blurb facts that I was familiar with. I knew the hit list of why he mattered, but didn’t know how he traveled down the path. I was pleasantly ignorant until I learned of this little episode. Elmer Keith was a novice reloader and while developing a powerful load for a Colt Single Action Army, it blew up on him.  In the man’s own words;  “When the gun rose from recoil of the first cartridge I unconsciously hooked my thumb over the hammer spur and thus cocked gun as it recovered from recoil. When I turned the next one loose I was almost deafened by the report and saw a little flash of flame. My hand automatically cocked gun and snapped again but no report. I stopped then knowing something was wrong. The upper half of three chambers was gone. Also one cartridge and half of another case. Also the top strap over cylinder. My ears were ringing otherwise I was all O.K.” (American Rifleman, August 15, 1925)

These are the little things that are glossed over by those who pray at the sanctuary of Elmer Keith.  No one mentions that as the catalyst that turned the man into the myth. No one ever said this rudimentary mistake began his journey down the path of becoming iconic. If someone had mentioned this to me, I guarantee I would have been far more interested in the man.  In the last few weeks, I have devoured vintage Elmer Keith articles and fallen in love with his brash style of writing. I have enjoyed his zest for life and his take no prisoners attitude. The man was extremely knowledgeable and has a great way of teaching the reader. I see that he was worth the hype.

Maybe I’m in the minority, but I like flaws. I gravitate to people who fight through the muck and fail. I need to know that you fucked up before you succeeded. I need to know of the faults to appreciate your accomplishments. If we will humanize our heroes and demote them from their gold plated altars, people might be more apt to appreciate them. They certainly won’t resent them or ignore them if they know they made the same errors we all do. I guess the takeaway is keep your idols in perspective. If you really want others to respect them the way you do, keep your starry eyed gushing to a minimum.

Need more? Ian at Forgotten Weapons has an excellent video showing the aftermath of the blown cylinder here. 

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

The Four Dollar Pamphlet

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Fuck you, Michael de Bethencourt. Fuck you for calling Thirty Eight Tips For Better Snub Shooting a book.  Fuck you for not mentioning anywhere within that it is for new shooters. Fuck you for offering sparse technique, while still having an introduction talking about your skills and qualifications for writing such a pamphlet.

I don’t claim to know everything about shooting, if I did why would I purchase this literature? As a competent shooter looking to improve skills and hone the discipline of my defensive weapon, I expected more out of this. It spent more time on firearm and holster choices than on tactics. I wanted sight alignment tips, hand placement suggestions. Outside of an excellent page on reloading under stress, this was a terrible disappointment. All of the information in this booklet could have easily been found online. Thanks to a few videos from Jerry Miculek and Tom Gresham, I actually got the information I was seeking.

I tried to be objective about this, but as recommended as the author came I couldn’t help but be annoyed. I’m believe that my next foray into this type of information will be from the likes of Ed McGivern or Ed Lovette who actually offer true advice. I should have been more wary, but somehow I still have a naive hope when it comes to the firearms community. I suppose from here on out, I’ll have to be far more selective. It surprises me how small the selection of things for those trying to move from intermediate toward expert. I just wanted to get real tips on trigger control and increase my accuracy on follow up shots, but instead I wasted my time and money.

Moral of the story, pick your advice and educators with more care. Remember that book apparently is open to interpretation. Remember that just because you enjoy a certain hub of information doesn’t mean you will not get conned. Remember that just because something comes from a website called snubtraining.com, doesn’t mean it will offer any skills on snub nose revolvers. Most importantly remember, fuck Michael de Bethencourt, because he’ll charge you four dollars for a pamphlet.

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

The Killing Joke Review

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Alan Moore’s The Killing Joke is one of the best comics ever written. Simply put if you enjoy comics at all you need to read it. If you haven’t quickly abandon this review and find a copy of it. This book h highlights everything good about the medium of comics in the same way that Sin City and The Watchmen do. It is one of the definitive works ever put to page.

In the latest episode of Podcast, Brewer and I reviewed the newly released animated version. As good as that movie captures the comic, I cannot recommend this book highly enough. It is Alan Moore at his gritty best and the combination of Brian Bolland and John Higgins art is stellar. Telling an origin story for the enigmatic Joker and having him being a cunning and vicious is a bold choice. This is R rated Joker at his absolute best. Moore does an excellent job of blurring the line between the hero and the villain. He forces the reader to wonder how different these two really are and as stated in the narrative, all it takes is one bad day to change your life forever.

This book has been influential on a number of interpretations of Batman, everyone from Christopher Nolan, to Tim Burton and Mark Hamil citing how much they took from this comic. It is fairly obvious the critically acclaimed Arkham video games have taken many cues from it. From its’ examination of a well known character to its’ morbid subject matter, this is a fantastic comic. This book is worth all the hype, all the accolades and I imagine that it will perpetually be one of the essential Batman story arcs.

 

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Enjoy the full digital comic here.

 

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

 

 

I Stand W/ Milo

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I stand with Milo. This is not a popularity contest nor is this a trend I am band wagoning onto, I truly stand with Milo. For the unfamiliar, Milo Yiannopoulos is a journalist known for his controversial viewpoints covering the gamut from feminism to Islam to political correctness. He is currently being lambasted by the mainstream media over spreading hate speech and is one of the only accounts permanently banned from Twitter. He is a lightning rod for free speech and a social justice warrior’s nightmare. Goddamn, am I a fan of his.

Milo is what he is. He doesn’t just poke the bear, he body slams the bear.  He has become something of cult figure in the liberty movement by just being honest and speaking his mind. By daring to go against left leaning ideologies and point out the authoritarianism often represented in their actions, he has made so, so many enemies. I can’t ever remember anyone being so clearly hated by so many groups for merely using their words. People like Milo point out all the flaws in fundamentalism and encourage the rest of to advocate copious amounts of liberty.

Free speech was never meant to protect only the things you want to hear. It’s architecture was to allow those with dissenting and reprehensible ideas to bellow aloud. Those so quick to crucify people like Milo are the same ones who would defend him if he was advocating for their specific viewpoints. Honestly, I don’t really care if I agree or disagree with Milo or anyone on every single one of their ideologies. I do; however, vehemently promote their right to say whatever they feel needs to be said. I do not condone this or any other witch hunt aimed at destroying someone for voicing their beliefs. I will continue to advocate and support unfiltered expression, because it is the right thing to do. I will continue to stand with Milo.

 

Experience the controversy first hand

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

Heart of Darkness Review

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Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness is a contemplative and brooding work set in the early 1900s. It follows Charles Marlow on his search for the infamous ivory trader known as Kurtz. As Marlow gets closer to finding Kurtz, his enigma grows exponentially.

It is almost impossible to discuss this novella without bringing up the controversy surrounding it. It is very of it’s time and portrays native Africans in less than a shining light. They are portrayed as savage, second class citizens who only exist to serve the white Europeans. I certainly see where this opinion comes from, yet I feel that it only adds to the brutality that bubbles under the surface of every single passage in this work. This is a morosely dense tale of a man losing touch with his humanity, so I think this work portrays a callous honesty rarely seen.

I’ve never experienced a book that does such a phenomenal job of pushing the reader’s yearning to meet a character. Conrad cannot be commended enough for the way he makes you want to meet Kurtz. His legend grows to a breaking point, then when you meet him you are not disappointed. Foreshadowing has never been more perfect than it is in this book. Kurtz steals the show and the cavalcade of insanity that surrounds him makes him both indescribably eerie and utterly fascinating.

All in all this work is very worth your time. It took me almost a week to read this book, but it is deals with such heavy subject matter breaks are very necessary. I don’t know how much re-readability there is in a novella like this, but I strongly believe that everyone should encounter this at least once. It is an enthralling tale that had been adapted multiple times to other forms of media. From films like Apocalypse Now to video games like Far Cry 2 and Spec Ops: The Line this story continues to show it has a timeless appeal that is easily adapted and still very entertaining.

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

Whiskey With Kerouac

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I got shitfaced with Jack Kerouac last night. Home alone and with no real desire to accomplish anything, I drank neat rye whiskeys and read Scattered Poems. For those unfamiliar, Scattered Poems is a collection of vulgar and visceral poetry from the author’s travels across America. It is excellent in every meaning of that word, but I’m not really here to discuss that. I am here to encourage you to remember to live life in your way. I want you to stop and enjoy the whole experience. To remember to be more than just be acquainted with what sings to the muse within you. To taste the entire encounter complete with inspiration, love, joy and rage.

Sometimes, you have to spurn responsibilities and follow your own agenda. Sometimes you have to do the impractical thing that feels right in that moment. Sometimes, you should make that last cocktail when you’re already on the edge of drunk. Sometimes you should eat that last piece of cake. Sometimes you should make conversation with a complete stranger. Sometimes you should walk barefoot in the grass and look at the stars. Sometimes, you should make some decisions in the now and enjoy life for the luscious mystery that lies within.

 

Reality will always be right there waiting for you when you return from your chosen sabbatical. It vigilantly stalks you eager to present you with a new list of demands. Ii will meet with higher tolls and more stringent responsibilities. It will take your spirit and rob your very essence if you allow it. It is imperative that we realize that we are so much more than our agendas and professions allow us to be. We are a vast conglomerations of hope, dream and desires. It is vital to the human condition that we feel and question and contemplate. It is vital that we do not lose touch with the impulses of our imagination. We must continue to wonder, or truly all is lost.

 

 

I encourage all of my illustrious readers to enjoy some of Mr. Kerouac’s fine writing here.

 

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviewing T.S. Eliot’s The Wasteland

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T.S. Eliot’s The Wasteland is a long form, four hundred thirty four line poem divided into five parts. Written in 1922, it is waist deep in references to other pieces of literature and in his notes the author proudly cites his influences. It tells the basic legend of the holy grail interwoven with the author’s own conjectures and themes. Eliot switches narrators and shifts from philosophy to satire, making it somewhat difficult to follow. Do yourselves a favor and get a copy of this book with annotations, without them you will be lost in the weeds and curious as to the intentions of this poet.

I feel that parts four and five, Death by Water and What the Thunder Said are my favorite sections of this poem, mostly because they are the easiest to follow. Maybe it’s heresy, but I feel the entire work would have benefited from being a collection of poems as opposed to one long poem. The loose connection maintained throughout the text makes this somewhat difficult to comprehend and causes the reader’s experience to suffer

Overall, this is a great work. My major issues with it revolve around the inaccessibility this will exhibit to some readers. It’s a dense poem, that is hard to consume in large bites and most certainly is not a casual read. I read it twice with the annotations and a study guide as to not miss anything. Even with all that it is well worth your time if you’re willing to put in the extra effort. It’s an intense book, but the author’s talented word structure is unmatched. Often touted as one of the great poems of the twentieth century, this poem certainly isn’t for the faint of heart.  

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

Bookshelf Memories

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My wife and I just recently moved and while reorganizing things I found an extremely important totem from the past. The Outlaw Bible of American Poetry is one of the most important books in my personal library. Not because it holds any collector’s value or even because it’s my favorite book, it is simply because it’s an amazing reminder of a chance taken. It’s one of those valued pieces of pure sentimentality.

I had a spectacular English teacher during my junior year of high school. She was one of those rare educators that honestly gave a shit and put out genuine effort. Before entering her classroom doors, I didn’t even really care to read and really didn’t see the purpose of literature. Mrs. Smith turned my world upside down by showing me the importance of it all. Her curriculum focused on creative writing and reading comprehension. She believed that everyone enjoyed reading, the trick was finding what appealed to the individual. Her approach was one that I hadn’t experienced before that and I bought in completely. 

My world was truly turned on it’s side when Mrs. Smith started the section on poetry. Seeing that everyone and everything has poetry in it revolutionized my thought process. She saw how much I enjoyed reading the works of authors like Dylan Thomas and Edgar Allan Poe. She also recognized  much I enjoyed the release granted by writing putting my feeling down on paper. She was an endless fountain of encouragement, pushing me to enter poetry contests, constantly printed off poems from a variety of authors for me to read and offered an abundant amount of constructive criticism on my writing.

One day after class, she was going over one my poems with me and she handed me Alan Kaufman’s Outlaw Bible of American Poetry. It was a vast collection with poems from the likes of Jack Kerouac to Patti Smith to Tupac Shakur. It showed me how that, in poetry there are no rules. You are given uncompromising freedom to say what you want. I’d never read anything like it and I knew from that moment on, I would be writing poetry.

This book, those authors and that teacher successfully pushed me to be a writer. I so deeply appreciate a teacher taking a chance on a misguided kid and showing me an entire world of art I didn’t know about. So many of the things I value now were heavily influenced by Mrs. Smith back then. She was a phenomenal teacher who I’ll continue to cherish. Her best intentions and eye opening lessons will continue to dwell within the pages that well worn book upon my book shelf.

 

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

 

 

 

Cody’s Most Embarrassing Moment

A bet is a bet. For those of you who haven’t listened to Episode 110 of the Bored Shenanigans Podcast(Available via iTunes, Stitcher and this very website), a wager was made on the last episode. The details are in the episode but I, Cody Jemes lost. In doing so, had to publish an article retelling my most embarrassing moment. It is hard to imagine how such could exist.In co-hosting an online talk show for almost three years, I have revealed many shameful truths that long time listeners are too bashful to recall. I have retold many a tale of my face palming failings and moments of unfiltered stupidity. Those are mere child’s play to what I have for you here. Without further ado, Bored Shenanigans presents Cody’s Most Embarrassing Moment.

Let me take you back to a simpler time. A time before smart phones and reliable wifi signals. A time before tablets and net books. A time when one was forced to download their desired media onto a hard drive if they wanted to take it with them. A time when bulky laptops occupied college students back packs and their battery life was paltry at best. Now in these bygone days of yore, I was a full time overnight employee and a full time college student. I drifted in and out of poor decisions with great regularity, but truly on this day I would out do myself.

The campus I went to opened at seven AM around the time I was finishing my overnight shift. I would often arrive right as the doors opened and the halls were often quite vacant. On this particular day, I felt a need to release some tension before my classes and I secured a safe spot in the men’s room. After some quick reconnaissance work I realized that I was truly alone. I was a man alone with just his lust and downloaded library of erotic entertainment. What could possibly go wrong?  I set up my station, selected my finest adult video, plugged in my headphones and began to enjoy myself. As things escalated and intensified I proceeded with the normal course of action. My fatal flaw was the volume of the video overpowered the volume of my surroundings.

Whilst I was engaged with myself I didn’t hear a knock on the door of the cleaning woman. I certainly didn’t hear her ask if the bathroom was empty. More importantly than that, I was so overcome with my initial desire, I neglected to close the stall door. All these thing culminated in a quick and sorrowful turn of events. As I looked up I saw this poor woman, having just discovered me mid coitus with myself. She exclaimed “Sorry” as I violently shuffled to hide my shame. My laptop crashed to the ground, my headphones pulled out to reveal the sounds of hardcore pornography, I struggled to gather my belongings and my dignity in a losing effort while I vacated that bathroom.

After the woeful event I went and found a quiet corner to hid in my humiliation and in a futile attempt to collect myself. The cornucopia of poor judgments overflowed onto me with unrelenting ferocity. I was a moron. I tried as hard as I could to allow time to pass with some semblance of normalcy. I assumed my foolish behavior would be forgotten as there were only two witnesses.I thought things would be forgotten. Not so much.

I attended that college for two more years and would sporadically see the poor custodian who caught me in the act. I tried with all my might to avoid eye contact with her, but when her eyes found mine she would shake her head with disgust. There is no escape from chagrin so loathsome. To that woman, I am that harrowing tale of what to fear when walking into a men’s bathroom. In her eyes I am perpetually that slumped over pervert who was jacking it for all I was worth in the public restroom.

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast listen to more of his botches on iTunes and Stitcher. Read his not so self deprecating articles here. This deviant also writes poetry, see that here  or download his debauchery filled e-book hereBe sure heckle him on social media via Twitter or Facebook.

 

The Snows of Kilimanjaro Review

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Sweet hell is this story depressing. If you’re in the mood for a light hearted romp filled with laughs and joy, look elsewhere. Even with saddening subject matter this short story by Ernest Hemingway is absolutely superb. The book follows Harry, a man dying of gangrene who is on safari with his wife. As death approaches he reflects on key moments in his life.

It is clear that the author sees himself through the protagonist’s eyes in this story. He has had a good life, but wonders deeply of the choices he has made in the past to deliver him to his current status. He highlights a series of regrets and decisions that are so specific, they must have deeply plagued Hemingway. By pouring so much of himself into the text, the author shows his own humanity. Though the lead character is permeated with flaws he is instantly relatable. His intentions are good, he just didn’t always show nobility in their execution.

My favorite part of this short story was the relationship between Harry and his wife, Helen. It shows how messy and chaotic long term love is. Though the time the reader spends with them is brief, it is apparent that their compassion for one another is genuine. No line of dialogue is wasted between these two, even when quarreling they still deeply care for one another. It shows the kind of bond that exists only in a long term, loving relationship.

Even if it is a downer, this is the best way I’ve spent a lunch break in quite some time. I was genuinely saddened when this was over, but the candor it showed at someone’s final moments was extremely powerful. It elicited tears from me and I have no shame in saying that. This might be the finest gem I’ve discovered during this series. I encourage you all to read this, I’ve attached a link to it here.

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

Best Supporting TV Character Quotes

A television show is only as strong as the supporting cast. Those characters that waft through the scenes and occasionally steal the show with nuggets of truth. They can offer a bit of knowledge, humor or insight that the main characters cannot always offer. Rank This! Dusts itself off to present the Top Twelve Quotes By TV’s Supporting Cast

12)

I’m getting my cheating out of the way early on here. MASH and Scrubs are similar shows and both excel at comedic timing, their casts are superb and I couldn’t pick my favorite here.

scrubs

“In the end, when Mr Foster started coughing up blood the on-call surgeon was stuck in traffic, the nursing staff was busy losing the lottery, his original doctor was thanking a garbage man, and the covering physician was incapacitated. And what was Mr Forster doing? He was dying in the hands of the Interns!” -Dr. Kelso

This quote embodies the entire premise of Scrubs by highlighting the hardships medical interns endure whilst pointing out the importance of vigilance when you are in a position of authority for someone else’s life.

&

MASH

“ Hear ye, Hear ye, it’s 0700 and all is hell. Incoming wounded, folks.”-PA Announcer

The PA announcer is the unsung hero of MASH. His insightful quips show that the best way to deal with the hellacious atmosphere of the Korean War is with humor. A strategy the show’s main character’s implement quite effectively.

11)

married with children
  [singing]”Bundy the no-man / He’s as bald as he can be. With hair in his nose and rot on his toes / He’s as bald as he can be; Bundy the no-man / He’s as bald as he can be/He’s into old age, making minimum wage / He’s as bald as he can be.” -Marcy, Jefferson, Kelly and Bud

Al Bundy’s world is one of sarcasm and self deprecation. All the character’s in Married with Children are equally terrible, but underneath the well timed bards they love each other. The above quote/song is my favorite because Al’s his best friend and kids join in with his nemesis, Marcy to make fun of him. We’ve all been there.

10)

dale gribble
“Bill!! Bill, you have to be the stupidest man on the planet to think this is a good idea! Have you seen what you’re wearing?! That outfit makes you look like a sequined train wreck! Look at you!! You’re part of a twelve-headed Jackass! This chorus is the feces that is produced when shame eats too much stupidity! You people make me envy the deaf and the blind!”-Dale Gribble

Dale has some real gems throughout all thirteen seasons of King of The Hill. His crazed conspiracy theories and pieces of advice range from fanciful to deadly accurate. He is a buffoon, but when his long time friend Bill is making a very poor decision he delivers an honest tirade that helps him see his error.

9)

butters
“I’m not gonna be confused anymore just because you say I should be! My name is Butters, I’m eight years old, I’m blood type O, and I’m bicurious! And even that’s okay! Because if I’m bicurious, and I’m somehow made from God, then I think your GOD must be a little bicurious himself!” -Butters

Trey Parker and Matt Stone of South Park are absolutely brilliant. The way they blend satirical humor with current events is otherworldly. The above quote is near the conclusion Season 11, Episode 2 where through various misunderstanding his parents send him to a Christian camp to stop his homosexual urges.

8)

gunslinger
“I..Am…Sorry” -Rico

Gunslinger Girl is supremely heartbreaking and engrossing beyond all measure. For the unfamiliar, it is about a government organization that using cyberly enhanced adolescent girls as assassins. It explores the human nature through little girls, the above quote is said by Rico after she meets a boy and is forced to kill him to follow protocol and maintain anonymity. The majority of the episode is her contemplating her new friend and developing a crush on him. The conclusion makes it all the more saddening when the audience sees the things she will be without as a member of The Social Welfare Agency.

7)

pam

“You’re so hot for him I could reheat this chili in your cooch, We gonna make some cooch chili, or what?” -Pam

Pam is easily my favorite character in Archer. In an environment of spycraft and secrets she is wildly inappropriate and completely honest. The characters are all horribly self centered, but they begrudgingly look out for one another. The above quote is reference to Lana and Sterling’s on again off again romance. Everyone can see their affections, but Pam is the only one bold enough to ask about their relationship directly.

6)

teddy

“Somebody threw a snow cone at my windshield today. I thought I hit a rainbow.It was terrifying.”-Teddy

Teddy is that overly eager friend we’ve all had. Bob’s Burgers number one customer, he has a story or opinion on anything. His dimwitted attempts at wit deliver existentialism and thoughts he never intended. His good intentions are often complicate the situation in this family drama.

5)

g'kar

“I have seen what power does, and I have seen what power costs. The one is never equal to the other.” -G’Kar

The ensemble cast of this Babylon 5 make it difficult to decide between who is support players. G’Kar really steals the show as he transforms from proud warrior to humble spiritualist through the course of the series. He has many thoughtful quotes, but this one is a recurring theme for the duration of the entire show.

4)

jayne

“Ain’t logical. Cuttin’ on his own face, rapin’ and murdering – Hell, I’ll kill a man in a fair fight… or if I think he’s gonna start a fair fight, or if he bothers me, or if there’s a woman, or if I’m gettin’ paid – mostly only when I’m gettin’ paid. But these Reavers… last ten years they show up like the bogeyman from stories. Eating people alive? Where’s that get fun?” -Jayne

Jayne is the ultimate opportunist, but his assessment of the reavers in Firefly is easily my favorite. His truthful retelling of the carnage and fear they bring is especially revealing by a character who has been know to be less than truthful. When someone who is a much of a bad ass as Jayne expresses fear, you know that author of that fear is something truly reprehensible.

3)

peanut

“The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to happiness isn’t the search for meaning, It’s keeping yourself busy with unimportant nonsense and eventually you’ll be dead.” -Mr. Peanutbutter

Bojack Horseman is dark comedy if ever there was dark comedy. The introspection the characters show toward themselves and others is refreshing. Though it can be nihilistic, I appreciate the candor this show exhibits. Especially when it comes from the perpetually upbeat mouth of Mr. Peanutbutter.

2)

red

“Because no matter how hard you try and how much we want it, there’s the people who serve the bread, and the people who eat the bread!” -Red

Orange Is The New Black is on fire right now. Just released season four, it deserves all the hype it gets. It shows the struggles of women in a penitentiary and studies human nature. The Russian head of the prison kitchen express her bleak outlook of the planet and her place on that planet. Harsh words for a harsh world that characterize the entire series.

1)

deadwood

“But I should say too that, in these rooms just this afternoon, such displeasure brought me near to murdering the sheriff and… raping Mrs. Ellsworth. I have learned through time, Mr. Tolliver, and as repeatedly seem to forget, that whatever temporary comfort relieving my displeasure brings me, my long-term interests suffer. My proper traffic is with the earth. In my dealings with… people, I ought solely have to do with niggers. And whites who obey me like dogs.” -George Hearst

It had to be Deadwood. Only a show as phenomenal as it could so accurately and completely make a villain despised.  In a frontier habitat of muddled morality only a megalomaniacal and menacing figure like George Hearst could stand out. It is the greatest example I’ve ever seen of enemies uniting to snuff out the greater evil, whom they cannot conquer. For my money he is the best villain in the best TV series ever written.

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

Rip Van Winkle Review

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Washington Irving’s Rip Van Winkle is embedded deeply in the fabric of American culture. Along with Johnny Appleseed, Paul Bunyan and Pecos Bill, this character has been referenced in popular media for nearly two centuries. This story takes place during the time of the American Revolutionary War and follows a man after he drinks some home brewed liquor from a mysterious stranger and awakens eighteen years later.

The changes experienced by the protagonist during a relatively short period of time are cataclysmic. The status of the world he knew is spun out of control. He is forced to quickly try to understand the manner in which his surroundings had changed. In short order, he learns his wife had died, his friends are gone and his children are adults. Along with these revelations, he is also declared a traitor as he supports the government that he knew to be in power.

This story plays on your emotions and you see the drastic shift Van Winkle must digest. Though the evidence is there, he has difficulty accepting how different everything is. He has missed multiple family moments and memories, time forgot him. Van Winkle must also digest the stigma of his own reputation. Having just disappeared without explanation his family and neighbors assumed thought the worst of him for almost two decades.

The most enjoyable part of this story is easily the political implications. The average man, ignorant to current events unknowingly supporting the former regime is met with violent rebuke. The idea that in a few years, someone can shift from a loyal patriot to an enemy is fascinating. It further highlights the consequences of having missed so much in a short period of time. This forces the reader to capitalize on the time they have and not waste it. Irving does an excellent job pushing so much thought into such a short story. This is well worth your time clocking in at under thirty minutes, it is deserving of reading and continual adaptations.

 

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.

 

Mission Statement

TheMissionStatement (1)

 

Sometimes, I think my hopes and dreams are so far beyond me that I want to scream. I can see them, but either my lack of focus or work ethic seems to keep them unattainable. Swimming upstream against a tide of daily hardships seems to keep them at bay. That being said, before you abandon this page mid sentence hold on. I know you can’t take another one of those late-twenties, who am I and what do I want to do with my life types of articles. That territory is well trod by Buzzfeed and Salon. Lord knows there are plenty of shitty indie bands shitting out their shitty post grad blues feelings all over perfectly innocent listeners right now.I’m not trying to add to their ranks but instead highlight a particular area in which I routinely fail. In reality, this is meant as a way for you to learn from my mistake.

I take on more than I ever hope to accomplish,I’ll admit it. I dream way too big, procrastinate a bit too much and then burn myself out with overzealous intentions and piss poor time management. I want so badly to be successful in a realm that doesn’t involve my day job, yet I will give the aforementioned day job the bulk of my effort. I just need to make a living, I could probably scrape by at work and actually pursue my side projects to a finish line. I have a difficult time balancing my priorities and I fear when I’m in my golden years I’ll realize that I didn’t do anything on my own terms.

Don’t get me wrong, sacrifice is a part of life and concessions must be made. Sometimes you have to work overtime instead of record a podcast episode. Sometimes, you have to be there at 5 AM to pull the lever instead of outlining a novella you promised your wife you’d write. Sometimes, there isn’t time to just make the final draft of your second poetry e-book. Sometimes only sometimes. More often than not though I find myself agreeing to this things, these distractions when I could just as easily not do them. The Earth will continue to spin and life will go on if I invested in my own efforts as opposed to laboring for someone else’s. They didn’t really need me as bad as I needed them to be my excuse.

This isn’t meant to be a statement of arrogance or legacy. I don’t expect world renown receptions nor am I’m ever going to be a Saul Williams or a Voltaire. I don’t intend to revolutionize the world, but goddamn it I should be using the few things I enjoy and have some ability at more often. I should be doing more with the talent I have instead of trying to not upset the daily humdrum. I should dedicate time to improving my abilities for me. I should have so much content for those who visit our small hovel of content distribution on the big bad Internet. I should be doing so much more.

I wrote a list of goals for the first time in my life. I have a three year plan. I have self imposed deadlines and projects. I’m going to make this work in spite of the same flaws that have haunted me my entire existence. I’ve told my wife about long term goals and am now accountable to someone for them. I’ve set meeting dates for creative collaborations. For the first time in a long time, I’m not feigning effort. For the first time in a long time I’m honestly trying.

Trite as it may sound, I implore you to do better than me. Embrace your entrepreneurial spirit and creativity. Bare your soul. Get that promotion at work, talk to that handsome fella, start or update that blog, get that certification or weave that blanket. Just go forth and grab whatever has been hanging over your head. Do the work. Trudge and struggle along with me. Don’t you dare make me fucking do this alone.

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow us on Twitter or Facebook.

 

The Hanging Stranger Review

 

hanging strange

This is cheating, I know it is. I have tried with this series to explore authors I don’t have a lot of experience with. I feel I’ve done a decent job at that, but sometimes I just want to read stuff I know I’ll like. Philip K. Dick’s Scanner Darkly and Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? are some of my favorite stories. I pretty much knew I would enjoy this going in.

The Hanging Stranger is one of the best short stories I’ve ever read. It follows a man who sees a hanging body on a street corner and slowly discovers some strange race is overtaking humanity. This reminded me of an episode of The Twilight Zone or maybe They Live! In other words,this work garners very high praise.

I finished reading this in about thirty minutes and desperately wanted more. The setting developed raises questions and the reader has to know more about it. The panic and terror felt by the protagonist is real and reverberates with every line. You question your narrator, your sanity and the validity of proposed conspiracy. Any story that pushes you to doubt all this things simultaneously is, excellent. The author rides the edge of keeping this story clear and taught whilst still pushing you to ask questions. It could have easily have been confusing, but the skill exhibited in this work shows why he is revered as such a pillar of science fiction.

If you’re a fan of suspenseful, mind bending stories and have some time to kill, go find this now. This is well worth the effort and you won’t regret it. This is a great introduction to Philip K. Dick’s writing style and if you enjoy this I imagine you’ll soon been looking for more of his work.

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow us on Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

 

My Problems With Net Neutrality

internet

 

 

Congratulations, we all fell for it.  With websites from here, there and all over pleading for us to support Net Neutrality. Politicians and news anchors clamored that this is a much needed regulation. Well it’s official as of June 16th, the FCC Net Neutrality agreement was upheld in Federal Appeals Court. We all win, the Internet is no longer a luxury, it is now regulated as a utility. We can binge watch YouTube and Hulu without interrupted streams.

Net Neutrality was upheld as part of Title II of the Federal Communications Act of 1934. This act was originally designed around phone lines that transports only one type of data. Since the Internet moves so many types of data, to restrict everything on the same plateau eliminates the quality of service currently used. Restricting internet service providers in this way eliminates their ability to offer multiple speeds for their customers and removes the opportunity for them to prioritize the available assets as needed. This will force smaller service providers to new standards they may not be able to handle and regulates ISPs business models in a way that will make it harder to serve their customers.

The implications of how Net Neutrality will impact Internet users is important. These includes the Internet being subject to regulation by the Federal Communications Commission. The truest form of deregulated media may be a thing of the past. Independent content creators could potentially be fined or subject to the current regulations of terrestrial broadcasts.  Another implication of Net Neutrality is having service providers submit how their data is being dispersed and that it is being done according to this agreement. While I know that the Congressional push back has been against the violation of privacy, I am more worried about the cost involved. The expansion of administration or the creation of some agency to ensure that the dictums are met . Regardless, we will all pay for this. An additional concern is that Title II allows regulated utilities to be put under Eminent Domain.

Net Neutrality is unnecessary and overreaching. It chokes the free market and will only cost more money to everyone involved. From businesses to Internet users to taxpayers. Through the use of misleading language, this act will be harmful long term. I oppose this entire thing and I hope that it will be appealed in the Supreme Court. Ideally, this is something that will go away, but my gut feeling is it will haunt Americans the way the Patriot Act has.

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book hereBe sure to follow us on Twitter or Facebook.

 

White Fang Review

image

 

Jack London’s White Fang is an excellent story. It tells the tale of a wolf born in the wild and follows his journey as he is domesticated during the Alaskan gold rush. It blends the savagery of the environment with the harshness of human nature. Seeing mankind from the eyes of the animal forces you to reevaluate your own actions.

The author is impeccable at capturing the spirit of such a unforgiving place. His own personal experiences while being in the Klondike come through in the text. His reverence and respect for the Alaskan territory and the culture reverberates with every page. He surrounds the reader with the bitter north area in a unique and very memorable way. By forcing you into this world, he makes you examine your own hardships and see the change in society as time has advanced. It provides a unique snapshot for a period in time where only the strong willed would survive.

One thing I particularly enjoyed about this story is that it is almost the inverse of his book, The Call of The Wild. This is a method I wish more authors would use. Seeing both sides of the journey from wild to domestic really allows the readers an opportunity to get context for both stories. This a particularly creative idea and it forces those who enjoyed these writing to revisit the other texts. It is such a fascinating world that is cultivated, I have a hard time comparing it to much else I’ve ever read. I truly enjoyed this book and I would love to explore other works by Jack London. With the fast read time and captivating content, this is very much worth your time.

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book here.Be sure to follow us on Twitter or Facebook.

 

 

 

 

Thanks Dad

dad

 

It’s Father’s Day. So get your traditional funny gifts out and buy a greeting card. I know it’s trite and well worn to celebrate this holiday for the sake of celebrating it. I thought I’d attack it with sentimentality. Saddle up, I thought I’d share my thoughts on my father with our illustrious listening audience.

Thanks for everything dad. You’ve dealt with me being difficult for a long time. As both my wife and friends can attest, I’m an asshole. I know during the most rebellious parts of my youth i amplified that trait to nearly unbearable levels. Thank you for taking that with a grain of salt.

You have been such a positive influence on me. You have pushed me to challenge myself and be self sufficient. You always encouraged critical thinking, even if it resulted in a conclusion you weren’t crazy about. Your advice has always been well grounded and you’re my go to phone call when I need another idea or opinion. I know I owe my sense of humor and deep love of sarcasm to you. You’ve been an astounding example of what a father and man should be.

I sincerely appreciate all that you’ve done
So to all fathers of who listen to Bored Shenanigans, who fathered listeners of Bored Shenanigans or to those who are using Bored Shenanigans as fuel while you and your partner create something to father,  thank you.

Happy Father’s Day

 

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. Be sure to follow him on Twitter at @boredshenanigan. Stay tuned for more articles.

The Importance of Being Earnest Review

earnest

 

Oscar Wilde is a stellar wordsmith. I knew after reading The Picture of Dorian Gray, I wanted to read more of his works. This play satirizes Victorian England’s social norms by having two friends exchange lives and experiences under the pseudonym of Earnest. This play is praised for the comedy and trivial nature and has been brought to the stage many, many times. It is often considered to be Wilde’s masterwork.

This play doesn’t take itself very seriously, which makes it hard to complain too much about it. The language was easy to follow and fun. It did mindless things written in a compelling way. It was obvious through the text that the author enjoyed himself a great deal while writing this story. He truly enjoyed the characters, he created and wanted the reader/ viewer to do the same.

I wouldn’t categorize this as the greatest piece of literature I’ve ever read. It was mediocre in parts and felt a little flat, but I wouldn’t characterize it as a waste of time.  I didn’t regret the time I spent reading it. I realize this isn’t a heaping endorsement of praise, but it didn’t make me wish I had read something else. I appreciated it enough, but I don’t think my life would be incomplete by never reading it again.

I understand that reading a play isn’t the best way to get a feel for a story. Certain parts can be much more memorable by seeing a great actor or actress carry them out on stage. With that thought though, I’ve never seen King Lear as a play, but I’ve read that several times and have been entertained by it every time.  I would like to see this tale as it was intended to be viewed. Perhaps then I’ll come around on it, giving it a glowing endorsement. Until such time, “okay” is as good a review as I can give it.

If this is your introduction to Oscar Wilde, you can do better. If you’ve seen the play and need more of it, or just want a lighthearted and somewhat air-headed story written in a compelling way, this is the book for you. Otherwise, I would I would recommend The Picture of Dorian Gray or House of Pomegranates over this. Either way, only someone as talented as this author can make something so mundane, seem so interesting.

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book here.

 

 

 

 

 

Quick, Everyone Chime In!

opinion3

 

 

The tragic part of a tragedy is the victims seem to take second place. Nobody really gives a fuck about those affected. Sure, we all feign solidarity, we all wish well, political figures stand in front of podiums and make claims and legislation. Leaders of communities demand action for whatever has happened all the while those who really suffer seem to get lost in the shuffle.

The incident in Orlando has saturated conversations, social media, and all forms of news. Things like this just magnify everyone’s agenda. These things just make people do more of whatever they do. Whatever sacred cow those people or agencies possess, they just do more of that. Anti groups do more of that, disenfranchised groups push to be more accepted, all members of a certain faith are expected to answer for the actions of one individual and any number of other assemblage condemn or begin to fight for their own agenda. Not to mention the multitude of radical fringe organization that will condone the architects of the tragedy.

I can’t claim perfection, I have dabbled in hindsight just as much as everyone else. I have piggy backed on travesties for the sake of proving a point. If only this or if only that, the situation could have been different. I’ve encouraged people to read these statistics and facts that reflect my opinions and beliefs.

During this cavalcade of lobbying and motive pushing people still are suffering. Families, friends and those directly impacted are experiencing unfathomable loss. They are not comforted or allowed to grieve in peace. Their own personal hell is analyzed into a million of “what if?” scenarios. When lives are taken, we owe it to one another to find a solution to the problem. Not the kind of solution that pushes legislation, reinterprets laws and ultimately limits freedoms.

The focus during some type of disaster should be far more introspective. We need a renaissance that allows us to mourn the dead and comfort their families simply because it is the right thing to do. To objectively look at the situation and find a way to teach the next generation that hate only causes problems, it never solves them. We need to foster an environment where differences are tolerated and critical thinking is promoted. More than anything, we need to stop making reactionary judgments and instead just try to be better people.

 

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book here.

 

Review of Catcher in the Rye

Catcher-in-the-rye-2

 

I’ve tried with this series to look at things objectively and from a entertainment mindset. I am not able to do that with the following review and my bias is clearly shown. With that in mind I present you with my review of Catcher in the Rye.

J.D. Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye is one of the only books I’ve ever vowed to never read again. Now I’ve read it twice. I’m a sadist. This book has to inspire more whiny emo band lyrics than any other source. It is dreadful. For those of you who weren’t forced to read this book in high school, it’s about Holden Caulfield and the days following his expulsion from a prep school. It is often praised as a love letter to New York City, showing the vibrant and colorful nature of the city. Holden is often referenced as a symbol of teenage rebellion and angst, capturing the feeling we all had in high school. This book has been banned multiple times for the language and its’ reference in several crimes.

I’ll start off with the positives, I love the style of writing Salinger implements here. The narrative, places you precisely where the protagonist is and allows the reader to see through their eyes and understand their handling of every situation. The author’s concise and well executed methods keep the book easy to navigate and allows the reader to quickly digest every instance.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, fuck Holden Caulfield. As a matter of fact, fuck anyone who claims this as a piece of art that shouldn’t be besmirched. This book is one of the most arduous and least enjoyable things I’ve ever read. If it is meant to be an indictment of adolescents or force you to hate all spoiled teenagers, job well done.

I cannot be alone in this, as a point of experiment, I had my wife try to read this book and she was done after about three chapters. It is a ponderous read, filled with self indulgent whimpers by the main character. He is a walking buzz kill, unhappy by every single aspect of his life and when presented with an opportunity to improve it he just complains all the more.

I hated this book. I found little enjoyment from it outside the narrative used the brevity in which I was able to complete it. What confounds me more that anything is how this book is held in such high esteem. The pedigree of excellence heaved upon this work blows my mind. Maybe I’m too dim witted to understand the implications inside it’s covers, but this goddamn book holds no enjoyment for me.

I cannot and will not recommend this book. If it were just a story I didn’t enjoy, I’d happily tell you. Literature is subjective, I understand that. The amount of universal praise this work finds itself in is misguided and I do not consider it a classic or even an enjoyable read. I almost find it offensive this book is held in the same regard as works of Hemingway and Chaucer. If you must read something I’d reach for the instructions on your toaster oven before cracking the cover on this drivel.

 

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book here.

3rd Party, Please Don’t Fuck This Up

3rd

Holy shit, another option. Holy shit, the Libertarians are actually being mentioned outside of chat rooms and their own circles. Holy shit Gary Johnson and Bob Weld are polling at eleven percent in national polls. Holy shit, the citizens are looking for choices outside of the GOP and DNC. Holy shit, I hope these two make a good showing and open up an express lane for others to campaign and be taken seriously.

I am actively advocating something to disrupt the establishment and push for liberty. We need a mindset change in this country. We have been mired in the left or right paradigm for far too long. The current mainstream candidates appeal to the lowest common denominator and only offer the illusion of choice. Whether the Democrats or Republicans win this election, we will end up in another war, we will have more laws passed that limit freedoms and the national debt will only rise. This things will negatively impact all of us. The people not politicians will be forced to reap the consequences.

Americans need this shift in the political spectrum. They need to see an alternative to the status quo to care again. I just want to liberty to prevail and people to actually be able to chose what works for them. I desperately want the third party to make a good showing this election, so people will stop choosing lesser evils and start moving towards good. Something to uproot career politicians whose only real goal is to stay in power and continue to exist comfortably. So many people are so vocal about how broken the system is, yet they refuse to hear any voice outside of what is easiest.

I plead with you, third party do not fuck this up. The Perot campaign in 1992 is the last time anyone took something different, seriously. We need this to work, we need this to do well and most of all, we need you to not abandon your principles for the sake of fitting in. Candor and truth stand tallest in the forest of mistruths and lies, so please just tread lightly and act with some civility so you don’t ruin fringe candidacy for the next guy.

 

 

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book here.

 

 

 

 

The Call of Cthulhu Review

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I don’t think I possess the ability to discuss literature without invoking the name of H.P. Lovecraft. I’m sure the term ‘classic’ isn’t always one attributed to pulp horror writers, but I’m pulling rank here.  Settle back as I present you, The Call of Cthulhu.

For the uninitiated, The Call of Cthulhu is a short story about a man named the inheritor of his uncle’s estate. While performing these duties he discovers his late uncle’s obsession with an ancient cult. This is easily Lovecraft’s most well known and highly regarded work, though his short stories have been adapted to multiple forms of media.

Before I get too deep into my passions for this book, I know from the get go you’ll either love or hate Lovecraft’s style of writing. It’s dark and complicated, a kind of sludgy gothic concentrate not for the faint of heart. He will build the atmosphere off the page and pile it up around you. It’s a bit inaccessible for some new Lovecraft readers.

Flaws noted, this is such a fantastic book. Call of Cthulhu is the story that began my love affair with Lovecraft’s work. I’ve read it multiple times and always gotten enjoyment from it. In my opinion, it is some of his finest writing. This book is worth the hype. It has inspired multiple adaptations and expansions to the myths, from tabletop RPG games to novellas to animated series. There is so much to enjoy in this story, it appeals to lovers of horror and mystery in all the best ways. I don’t really know of anything that compares to this tale, so for lovers of foreboding suspense  or for those who want a tale about ancient occults worshiping long forgotten gods, this is one for you.

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here  or download his e-book here.

 

Is Effort Overrated?

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Cream always rises to the top. Sure it’s an easy colloquialism that is meant to inspire everyone to try hard. It is the style of saying usually reserved for guidance counselors and posters with cute animals on them. So what happens when the cream just gives up because the dairy fights them every step of the way.

Cryptic, I know. Ready yourself, I’m going to elaborate. We’ve all been told to work hard, apply ourselves and give a little extra. This is the secret to success and what we should aspire to be. Just do more because it’s the right thing to do. Great ideas that aren’t given the proper method to thrive.

Face it, some people are never going to apply themselves. Some people are going to skid by doing the bare minimum and that is fine. The application of self isn’t really the issue here. The issue is when those who don’t really exhibit any effort fuck it up for the rest of the people in the room. When they become the majority and lower the standards.

This is where those who legitimately try truly suffer. When the standard are so low, those willing to better themselves and give their all are ostracized. The system of do as little as needed is upset by their presence and they are either forced out of it or are absorbed into it. You either conform or are exiled.

With less being demanded of the individual why bother to compete? We are punishing the truest assets and not rewarding them. We are discouraging motivation and creativity by snuffing out everything it should be. Surely those with any desire will find a way to succeed, but it’ll be on their own merits and in spite of their environments. Good luck my dear overachievers, good luck.

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work in the article section. Also enjoy his poetry blog here.

 

 

 

Ali Baba & The Forty Thieves Review

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Free e-books everywhere and which one to pick and read. Alas I have returned to the glowing pages of my kindle to find works of classic literature and see if they’re worth my time. This time, I dive into the world of folk tales with Ali Baba and The Forty thieves.

This book’s earliest written example is disputed, but the most well known example of it exists in  One Thousand and One Nights by European translators, Antoine Galland. The tale had been modified and manipulated somewhat, but in general the core stays the same.

Outside of the main character’s name and ‘open sesame’ I knew nothing of this book and before reading it, never gave it much thought. The concept is simple, Ali Baba is a poor woodcutter who finds a thieves’ cave of riches and his female slave helps him fend off the bandits. Easy enough, but I was entertained to no end by this book.

Morgiana, Ali Baba’s female slave steals the show here. I loved her from her first interactions with any of the characters. She is the strong, smart style of female character that would do Joss Wheaton proud. She continually saves Ali Baba though quick thinking and cunning. She made this book for me, hands down.

The lack of a moral compass is also refreshing in this tale. No real villain or hero is established, leaving the reader to choose the sides of right and wrong. It is just characters who react to one another. This book was a nice surprise to me and I can see how it continues to capture the minds and demand adaptations.

Overall, a fun read  with entertaining characters and well worth the hour it takes to complete this short story.

 

Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Group Think

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It seems to me the modern day lynch mobs are growing at an alarming rate. Without even trying to be involved in any of the issues, they are forced upon me. Small minded arguments calling for vindication of some sort of wrong. I’m done with it and as far as I see it, you’re all wrong.

The social justice warriors have sharpened their spears and marched upon the natives, causing the natives to meet them with resentment and violence. Neither group has behaved particularly well, they are both making demands and terrorizing one another.

Every issue from trans-gender bathroom use to the profiling of the practitioners of Islam to those trying to ban or increase gun rights are beating on my brain and I’m tired of it.
What I think is being neglected by all sides of these issues is that we are all losing. What is lost in all of the heated discussions and short sided quarrels is we are playing the hand dealt to us exactly as we should. Instead of coming to some voluntary, civil agreement we call out to our officials to fix the problem. Just as children on a schoolyard call to the teacher, so we call in the litigators and officials.

This has a negative reaction for everyone, some type of law, rule, guideline or mantra will get passed, and that will limit or outlaw someone’s liberty. Whether that freedom was one to support or deny that particular issue. So no one really wins, we all lose. Losing the ability to live a life as we choose because we cannot come to some sort of an arrangement. It seems so simple, when it comes to differing ideas, just rationally discuss it. Act like an adult, conduct yourself with decorum and represent your side intelligently. If we figured out our own solutions that mutually benefited both parties, I doubt all the quarreling would raise everyone’s ire to the point of a riotous frenzy.

If we just show the slightest bit of respect to those in situations different than our own, we might actually fucking learn something as opposed to making judgments on other’s dispositions. Look I never claimed perfection and am filled with my own prejudices, but I am pledging from henceforth to improve my empathy skills. Perhaps, you’ll join me?
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here.

 

Bram Stoker’s Dracula Review

DRACULA (1958)

TITLE: DRACULA (1958) • PERS: LEE, CHRISTOPHER • YEAR: 1958 • DIR: FISHER, TERENCE • REF: DRA015CJ • CREDIT: [ THE KOBAL COLLECTION / HAMMER ]

Once again I delve into my kindle to find free classic literature. This time I read Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Did your English teacher lie to you? Is it worth your time to crack the cover open? Have the movies and tropes covered everything you need to know?.

We all know that vampires have gotten a lame reputation as of late. Still living in the sparkle light of the Twilight movies, it is almost hard to recall scary vampires. Going back to the source material of such an iconic creature really reinvigorates a such a well known subject. The story of Count Dracula has been told and retold in every form of media existing. From the iconic portrayal by Bella Lugosi, to the memorable Tomb of Dracula comic and even being the Belmont’s reason to exist in the Castlevania video game franchise. We are all familiar with Van Helsing, stakes through hearts, sleeping in coffins and Transylvania. Even with all of well knows of this tale, I’m just going to say it, Bram Stoker’s Dracula kicks ass.

If you are a fan of dark atmosphere that just builds on itself, this is your book. Stoker does an excellent job of making the Count out to be a predator whilst the reader is the prey lost in his jungle. The methods in which the preconceived notions Dracula are stripped away and he seems so otherworldly. The ambiance and state of fear and uneasiness amongst the characters as the Count manipulates those around them is breathtaking. As the reader you both dread and anticipate Dracula’s next move.

I can see why this book has continued to be adapted again and again.It entertains throughout, it drags a bit toward the end as Van Helsing pursues Dracula back to Transylvania, but that is a minor complaint in what is a great experience.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans pod cast. See more of his work here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here.

Episode 96 Notes

Woooooooooooooooooooooooo Show Notes Are Back!!!

This is flyers may one of them serve you well.

Cthulhu Flyer

Cthulhu Flyer Comparison

Here is Cody’s Tell You Everything. Its like an AMA but you did not ask for it.

Behind his beard is a tattoo of a swastika inside a hammer and sickle surrounded by a pentagram centered in an anarchy sign with Arabic words that say “ass rape as you please”
Cody Jemes is responsible for most cracks and scratches you see.
Cody Jemes is an antivaxxer because he wants more autism
“I got a big dick made out of money yo. bitches want me cum diamonds in their asshole.” – Cody Jemes
Cody Jemes goes into supermarkets and dulls the Capri-Sun straws to make kids cry.
Cody Jemes canceled Firefly.
When asked about Cody Jemes, Pol Pot of the Khmer Rouge said that he is a great guy and real fun at their pajama parties “most of our polices came from what he said talking in his sleep”.
14 shares of Pabst Brewing Co. are owned by Cody Jemes
Cody Jemes is the reason why moose have to ask children for baked goods.
Cody Jemes goes to animal shelters for a good laugh.
Cody Jemes once choked on an ellipsis…
Cody Jemes hides slivers of ham in vegetarian soup.
All of Cody Jemes’s pants are the singular form of the noun.
Cody Jemes hands out free bottles of water fortified with Thalidomide at Lamaze classes.
Cody Jemes is the one that let the dogs out in the 00’s.
Cody Jemes is singularly the reason for Obi-Wan Kenobi comment about Mos Eisley Spaceport.
Contact with Cody Jemes is one of only 2 offense Starfleet still carries the death penalty for.
Voldemort refuses to say Cody Jemes’s name.
Cody Jemes once auditioned for the ShamWow commercial but was rejected for being “too creepy and sleazy looking”
Cody Jemes is the larval form of his species; when he grows up he will be a desk lamp with a 35watt bulb and a stick note that reads “remember milk for Stacy”.
The nose of Cody Jemes is perpetually filled with peanut butter.
Cody Jemes turns the pressure on water fountains down as low as they can go and films people trying to drink from them scored with flute music
Cody Jemes once built a raft out shoes stolen from the homeless to conquer a small island in the Mississippi Delta region for 2 days. This one isn’t that bad I just found it interesting.
Cody Jemes has none of his original teeth but 32 other people do. When they had their wisdom teeth pulled he put his to fill the gap.
Cody Jemes wears socks with sandals. But the socks are on the outside over the sandals.
Cody Jemes has 11 toes… in a jar… that he jerks off into at night… every time he feels hungry.
Cody Jemes’s blood tastes like blueberry yogurt, the dust from a ceiling fan, and melancholy

And now its time for WHAT’S IN THE BAG?!

Behind this link you find a world of strange objects protruding from packs

Bored Shenanigans Podcast-Episode 70

The plague is going around the BS studios and your two humble hosts battle through the fog of sickness and staying out far too late to bring you something. Listen as we review movies that we have zero business reviewing and find new things to put on a popular deity.

Download

 

Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.

Welcome to Episode 70- 

BS-to-GO 05

We bring you a special report of a sort. Cody wants to talk about some of the issues surrounding the idea of the ability to open carry a handgun so Brewer interviews him. That’s all you really need to know.

 May I Take Your Order?

Would you like the Hot Apple Pie with that?

So that’s one To-Go Episode 05: Have Gun – Will Podcast

Burnout Happens

There is defiantly such a thing as too much of a good thing. This usually is a phrase that is tethered around liquor or lavish money spending but it applies in many fields. Sometimes, responsibilities take your carefully drawn up schedule of time management and throws it squarely in the refuse bin. Try as one might to return back to square one, they are running without any hope of catching it. My meager little bit of advice is simple, enjoy the avalanche. You cannot stop the storm nor will you be able to reconstruct from the point before it. Take a step back, watch the pretty flames dance. Enjoy your time and don’t stress about what could have been. When the fire burns itself out, go in and reassess the situation. Maybe now is time to make a new schedule and begin the process of getting back into a routine. When you are speeding through a flurry of must dos just hang on,it always will slow down. Also remember no fret over lost production,lost time, loss of revenue or for simply not being able to go to that party. It will all come around and settle at the bottom. Hell, in the long run probably for the better.

Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

Three RTS Games to Play Before You Die

Here at the BS production house, we like us some war games. Really like us some war games. Many a precious hour have been wasted fighting one another on the digital battlefield. While we do enjoy several fine first person shooters, our heart will forever belong to those mystical real time strategy games.  So after much debate and without any remorse, we present to our readers…

 

3 RTS Games to Play Before You Die

3) Starcraft

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The original did it best, plain and simple. There is a reason this is still played in tournaments around the world. To the uninitiated, Starcraft’s campaign throws them into a story involving three warring factions. All three campaign’s allow the player to try each faction and find the one that appeals to them, whether it be the Imperialistic Terran,  the Noble Protoss or the Evil Zerg regime. Each has its own weakness’ and strengths and offers a well balanced system. This is a interstellar delight that should appeal to solo players for it’s story and multiplayers for it’s competitive play. A fantastic game and a great example of real time strategy done right.

2) Command and Conquer: Generals-Zero Hour

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The expansion to C&C: Generals, this game shined in the shadow of it’s predecessor. Keeping with RTS tradition, the player can chose between the technologically superior USA, the mighty multitudes of China or the ruthless and terroristic GLA. Each campaign does a good job of making you sympathize with a faction and see each one’s strength. The general’s challenge is a personal favorite, forcing you to take on a nine specialists of each faction.  This is easily the game we have logged the most hours on. The ability to have 8 players at once, makes this a LAN party favorite.

1) Conquest: Frontier Wars

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Here she is, the creme de le creme of real time strategy games. This game has the most insane AI, the hardest difficulty and the most variety amongst it’s factions. Again with the 3 factions, other than what it said in game via the Terran campaign, little is really fleshed out. The Mantis are a insectoid race devouring worlds in their hive like structure and the Celareons are beings of pure energy, with far superior technology and defensive structures. Learning each style of play through the multiplayer option against computer controlled enemies forces you to learn quickly. A steep difficulty level makes this one of the most fun examples of co-op play available and with just the right amount of lore, allows the players to use their imagination. Never a commercial success, this game’s sequel was cancelled, but was supposed to introduce a fourth race, the lizard like Vyrium who would function much differently than the other three. This game is beyond well done and any fan of strategy games should certainly enjoy time spent with it.

Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

Failed Potential Movie Sequels Part 2

Failed Potential Movie Sequels Returns

We return with a vengeance to bring you the beginning of the list. Without further hullabaloo, here is number 15 to number 1 of our Rank This! movie sequel list.

15-Addams Family Values

This sequel fell so flat. Pancake level flat. Anjelica Houston and Raul Julia reprise their roles as Morticia and Gomez, but this film’s unrelenting desire to make Uncle Fester a comedy relief character runs this film aground.

 14-Fantastic Four: Rise of The Silver Surfer

Well this was the chance for redemption after that abortion of a first film. Sweet hell, this was not it. Blundering their way through the introduction of Silver Surfer and making Galactus a big, glowy cloud really made me regret seeing this movie. 

13-Tremors Sequels(All of them)

Sweet fuck, just stop. The first film was more fun than any movie about giant worms has any right to be. It was sort of call back to the creature feature genre and had a cast of characters you rooted for. Then they just kept making terrible, ponderous films about tunneling worms of death.

12-Mission Impossible 2

The first Mission Impossible was a complex spy film that made the audience think and wonder what Ethan Hunt’s next move would be. The sequel was directed by John Woo and has explosions, motorcycle races, giant explosions, and doves gracefully flying amid gun battles. Not what I had hoped for by any stretch of the imagination. A dumb action film that should have been a tight spy thriller. 

11-2010: The Year We Made Contact

Stanley Kubrick set the bar pretty high. I don’t know that this film ever had a real chance of touching that one. But the director tries so hard to do Kubrickian things and it doesn’t resonate. This is apparent in the ending most of all, which ends simply and leaves the audience craving more, especially after how the first film looked into the mystery of space. 

10-Shrek 2

Shrek turns into a human and donkey turns into a horse. He wants to win back Fiona and wacky antics ensue…..Next!

9-Aladdin 2: Return of Jafar

220px-Returnofjafar

Maybe this is nostalgia leaking in here. I used to really like Aladdin. It was one of my favorite Disney pictures, having more adventure than most of its peers. The sequel was bad. Really bad, rehashing  a lackluster villain in a lackluster revenge plot. Oh and Robin Williams doesn’t play the Genie and it is  painfully obvious. 

8-Pirates of Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

The first film was so perfect. It set us all up for a franchise of  staggering escapades and did so much to make us like Jack Sparrow. Then this happened and it snowballed into a half-ass’d snooze fest that seemed unable to grasp any of the mystique of the predecessor. 

7-Batman Returns

Why do people like this movie? Other than a top-notch Catwoman, what is good here? I understand the impact and revolution in the first flick, but this was horrendous. Tim Burton created so much atmosphere and scenery, the cast couldn’t help but chew it. Without Christopher Nolan’s trilogy, people would assume that this tripe is Batman.

6-Caddyshack 2

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What is there to say? You take a legendary comedy film’s sequel and insult the audience with it. This film could easily be under a dictionary heading under terrorism.

5-Butterfly Effect 2

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I don’t think the writer of this had ever seen the original. It is Butterfly Effect in name only. The first one was so good, this one was poorly made, poorly acted, and I was dumb enough to take the bait and watch it. I want my time back.

4-Matrix Revolutions

Okay, Reloaded had problems. It did, but this is where the string was pulled and the series unraveled completely apart. Constantly trying to mind fuck us for no real reason, this film plodded along and ended with a standard fare Zion standoff and an unearned ‘what if ‘ending. I wish I had taken the blue pill instead.

3-The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

220px-The_Mummy_-_Tomb_of_the_Dragon_Emperor (1)

Here it is, this is why I did this list. The first Mummy wasn’t Citizen Kane or anything. It had its problems, but it was fun. It was a loving tribute to The Mummy’s Tomb and Curse of the Mummy’s Hand. It was a great return to a much forgotten monster. I really enjoyed it and do so more upon repeated viewings. The Mummy Returns was not good and neither was the Scorpion King. This should have been awesome, taking the series to a new land and culture with the Terracotta Army and Chinese Emperor’s undead. This could have at least been a diet version of Indiana Jones. They screwed this up so bad and made it just another forgettable action flick and wasting so much potential.

2-Star Wars: Attack of the Clones

Star_Wars_-_Episode_II_Attack_of_the_Clones_(movie_poster)

This is the worst of the prequels and I will not be swayed otherwise. Even with boring podraces and Jar Jar, Phantom Menace was still watchable. Darth Maul was cool, the space battles were fun and the plot tried for something. In this film, Christopher Lee is wasted as a mediocre villain and we watch poorly written romantic dialogue. Apparently Boba Fett is a clone and so are all storm troopers. This cannot be the Clone Wars that Ben Kenobi talked about all those years ago on Tattoine. 

1-Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day

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I wanted to love this movie and quote it as much as I do the first film. In the BS production house and amongst our friends this is one of our films. We were so ready for this movie to come out. It isn’t bad. It just isn’t the first film. It tries so hard to recapture that lightning, but never seems to. Rocco’s cameo was a nice touch and having Willam Defoe return as Lt. Smeker was great, but I still feel a bit empty. I loved the Focus on Il Duce, but something wasn’t quite there. This series still gets an annual play through on St. Patty’s Day, but All Saints Day just isn’t the saint the first one was.

Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

Failed Potential Movie Sequels Part 1

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Bored Shenanigans’ Rank This! This time we list out those movies that were really disappointing even though they were filled with so much potential. These films still hurt us a little on the inside years later. Enjoy part one, and stay tuned for part two next week.

30-Indiana Jones Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

indy2

It has been well documented on what a boner killer this film is. It rendered all fans of Indy’s return quite flaccid. Some head scratching scenes involving gophers, monkeys, refrigerators and poorly conceived Soviets and aliens all stacked up for a forgettable finish to a proud franchise.

29-Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows

blairwitch2

Remember all those shaky camera shots and intense point of view moments from the first film? Remember how it felt so personal and realistic in comparison to everything else that was out at the time? So in the sequel what if the went as far away from that low-budget edgy style and made it into a generic horror film? You have number 29 on our list.

28-Jurassic Park 3

jurassic3

Fail. How do you fuck up a dinosaur movie? Just put them somewhere and focus on the interesting dinosaurs not the lame ass human drama. This was their chance to redeem themselves after that abysmal Lost World flick. Fail.

27-Lost Boys: The Tribe

This movie sure missed the mark. Everyone likes The Lost Boys and no one liked its sequel. It lacked the fun or adventure of its predecessor and left us feeling empty will with two dried up Coreys.

26-Ghost Busters 2

Okay, Viggo was a pretty kick ass part of this movie. He was a much more interesting villain than Gozer. Then you factor in little Oscar, mood slime, and just a ho hum experience. They had so much to work with and all we got was, meh.

25-Grease 2

Let’s flip the male and female characters changing themselves and swap cars for motorcycles. Other than a funny song about reproduction, this film wasted what could have been another iconic movie.

24-Resident Evil sequels/Silent Hill sequels

I am cheating here a little bit, but this is my list. The original film of these perspective franchises were pretty awesome. Both took their particular worlds and made them frightening. Then the sequels started. They both have steadily declined to the point of almost unbearable.

23-X Men 3: The Last Stand

Enough with the goddamn Wolverine. We get it, he is a bad-ass with claws. This should have been the movie that made the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants shine and allowed the audience to sympathize with their plight. Instead we get to plod through a poorly drawn out Phoenix story.

22-Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

terminator 3

This could have been such a insanely perfect string of sequels. The first one was incredible, the second one surpassed it, and the third tried its damnedest to recreate the T-1000 and give him tits. John Conner sucks in this movie. At least Salvation wasn’t too bad.

21-Halloween 2 (Rob Zombie)

Rob Zombie has proven to be one of the more interesting horror directors. His revision of the first Halloween movie was really enjoyable and demonstrated the range of his cast. It’s sequel fell flat in comparison. It was most certainly a disappointment.

20-The Never Ending Story Part 2

This story should have ended. What the hell was going on in this movie? This had such a convoluted plot with even more characters to develop. I am too confused by this movie to elaborate on it any more.

19- D2: Mighty Ducks

d2

So after a group of rambunctious and rowdy kids learn about teamwork and their coach learns about personal responsibility, in the off season they forget to practice. So what do we do? Learn it all again. Rehashed and lame ass hell, this sequel relied on the tried and true team USA patriotism shtick to manipulate the audience into feeling warm and fuzzy.

18-Back to the Future 2 & 3

Get your hate mail ready folks. I think this film fell pretty far from its predecessor. Two wasn’t terrible and three was almost unwatchable, but with a premise like time travel, I couldn’t develop a taste for the film’s tone. Going for a more campy than thoughtful method, these two seemed to waste Christopher Lloyd as a fantastic mad scientist.

17-Return to House of Haunted Hill

The bar wasn’t set particularly high by the remake of the original, but they certainly had their heart in the right place. Using the name ‘Price’ to honor Vincent Price is a nice touch, but the strange choice to use an idol as the motivation for the things that happened, focusing on gangsters and side characters made the audience scratch their head.

16-S. Darko: A Donnie Darko Tale

darko

In a way, this movie never needed a sequel. In another way, there was so much lore to the world, it almost begged for one.  This film added absolutely nothing and wasted everyone’s time. With such an over abundance of material to work with and such an intensely loyal fan base, how could you so frivolously fuck this up? Pure and utter wastrel.

Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

Seven Quotes to Live By

This world has been filled beyond the brim with more intelligent people than myself. If it magically became necessary to use other’s words to construct a primer to live by, these are the ones that I would chose. The following quotes are meant to distill things down to the core fundamentals necessary to thrive. So, Rank This Proudly Presents

7

Quotes to Live By

7) “The truth is that all men having power ought to be mistrusted.” -James Madison

This is imperative. One must think for themselves and do whatever they can to educate themselves and see past what construct of governing sovereignty is presented.  Following without question is dangerous, so always ask some questions.

6) “Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain.” – Jack Kerouac

Life is filled with too much wonder and mystery to not experience it. Grasping life and experiencing them is why we are all here. Seeing new places, tasting new foods, meeting new people and emerging yourself into other cultures can offer a revived perspective, but can also foster a lifelong memory. It it too short to not seize the moments.

5) “A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.” –Jim Morrison

Friendship is a wonderful occurrence. Being able to drop your guard in front of another person and just enjoy each other’s company is a rarity. When you can connect with someone on a level of enjoying a common interest or doing absolutely nothing, don’t let that slip away.

4) “I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” – Ernest Hemingway

Shut the fuck up and listen to what others are saying. Other’s opinions, thoughts, beliefs, or fears can be a phenomenal learning experience. Just don’t talk to hear your own voice, listen to what else is around you and pay attention. It is often worth it.

3) “Hope Is The Last Thing To Die” -Japanese proverb

Hope only gives up when you do. As long as you hold out that things will be okay after something difficult arises, they will. Giving up on hope is your choice, when hope is let go things truly are lost. Don’t lose heart. Hang on, it will all work out in the finish.

2) “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” -George Burns

Family is the tie that binds us. Whether it be your spouse, your child or your mother, that thread is almost indefinably important. That bond that draws family together instantly in the face of crisis, that bond that is shared among siblings, those memorable vacations and those famous recipes.  This is the core nucleus of who we are that defines us as a person. No other group can drive us as crazy or make us feel as important.

1) “Life grants nothing to us mortals without hard work.”            –Horace

This is the one, this is what it all comes down to. Work hard and you will get somewhere. Work hard and you will achieve whatever your goal is. Work can go along way that talent does not. Step up, stand up, fight and take that dream by the horns. Lackadaisical attitudes do not garner success, diligent work is the key to success. 

 

 

 

 Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

Overrated Fictional Characters

We have all been there, sitting around listening to someone prattle on and on about what a great character someone was. Barraged by the popular conception and fandom, we find ourselves hearing just a bit too much about the following characters. Without further ado, Bored Shenanigans’ Rank This! presents

The Top 11 Most Overrated Fictional Characters

11- Cinderella.

cinderlla

 YAWN. What a boring character with an over referenced story. The story is supposed to give us all a warm fuzzy and believe that one day wonder and beauty will rain upon us and free us from all our hardships. The original story had some dark elements and is more enjoyable, yet it has been so convoluted and watered down by Disney, it is almost unrecognizable. I never saw what the big deal was here. 

10- Legolas.

legolas

I feel clarification is needed here. In Tolkien’s books, Legolas is a member of the original nine who were to protect the ring. He was an introduction to the world of elves and had a few cool action scenes. He was just a fun background character who served his purpose well. Enter Peter Jackson. I guess, a defined cool character was needed. Someone to make the tween boys yell and the tween girls swoon. Dispensing arrows at a feverish pace, Legolas surfs down stairs on shields, kills large amounts of Orcs and tempts death many, many times. Expanded unnecessarily for the film, at least he gives cosplayers another choice in costuming.

9- Wolf Man. 

wolfman

Though he is considered a cornerstone of the vintage horror genre, he is the weakest.  All props go to Lon Chaney Jr. for an admirable performance, but he holds little sway. He doesn’t have the vexing nature of Dracula, the sympathy of Frankenstein’s monster, the tragedy of The Phantom of the Opera, or even the mystery of the Gill-man. I respect the ingenuity of the make up and effects, but this film is a bit ponderous and the writing of the character never draws us in. Not too bad, just out gunned by others in the category. The most disappointing thing is they had a second chance with the 2010 film, but it did little to add to the universe.

8- Ryu & Ken. 

ken ryu

This is a tie for two characters who are essentially the same. Pallet swapped from the beginning these two have become the face of the Street Fighter franchise. With a field of such diverse and fascinating characters, these were the two that were picked? Give me Vega, Chun Li, Bison, Axel or Akuma any day.

7-Harry Potter.

harry potter

Too bad there isn’t a magic spell to make you be less of a whiny little bitch. Harry Potter constantly takes on tasks bigger than he can handle and then puts himself or others in peril. A dramatic pre-madonna he takes the role of lone savior much too far and must be bailed out by his much more interesting and well drawn out supporting characters. Gifted with a well written universe and a well thought out set of villains, Mr. Potter falls flat in books and films that bear his namesake.

6- Hamlet.

hamlet

To list or not to list. To deny popular conception of what is iconic stories and throw them by the way side. To withstand the flaming arrows or to take up arms against the status quo of popular opinion…. With all the iconic and well done characters created by William Shakespeare, how has Hamlet become the icon? A man of inaction and debate he ponders and over thinks his next move. I feel Oedipus did it better and was far more intriguing with far more baggage. I understand that history is on Hamlet’s side, but it is no Twelfth Night or The Tempest. 

5- Luke Skywalker.

skywalker

I understand why Luke Skywalker exists. He is the innocent soul that can be related to by the audience. He introduces us to the fantastical world around him, I understand his point. But he is such a lost little sheep through the first two films. Sure he has moments of excellence, like destroying the Death Star and knocking down Imperial AT-ATs, but until his transformation in Return of the Jedi, this character is an uninteresting one. Out classed by far more interesting characters like Han Solo, Princess Leia, Obi-Wan, Chewy, the droids and Lando. Truly a so-so character amid a cavalcade of new and exciting relationships.

 

4-Data.

data

Spock as a robot. That is all Data is. Sure he was learning about how to be more human, but sweet Omicron Theta! does this character get on my nerves some times. From stupid laughter to singing folk songs, he can really wear on the viewer. As the series progressed, he became more enlightening and showed the audience what it took to be human. I just never understood his appeal to the Trek Nation. 

3- Wolverine.

wolverine

This was a character that never grew with the fans. Okay, he is an invincible bad ass with a foul temper and some sweet claws. Who was experimented on by the government. But was originally from Japan. And may have fought in the Civil War. Logan has been the focus of so many comics and films, we lose track. He was a cool character when we were 12, but now he is yawn worthy with his same antics. He is so deeply associated with the X-Men and the Marvel universe, he has almost become their unofficial mascot. Over exposure that overshadows other notable characters earns Weapon X his place on this list.

2- Jay Gatsby.

Gatsby_1925_jacket

The Book is not about Gatsby. Just because his name is in the title, doesn’t mean that is the subject. Jay Gatsby is a self-righteous twat used by the real main character, Nick to show the glitz over substance society of 1920s America. Wrongly identified as the protagonist and somehow praised as a good character, he receives much undeserved acclaim. 

1- Tidus.

tidus

Auron was wrong. This was not Tidus’ story, it was Yuna’s. This fact would not be so important if Tidus didn’t exclaim that it is his story every five fucking minutes. Barely beating Wakka out as far as stupid Final Fantasy X characters go. This guy has some huge fan following and he is by folds the most annoying person in your party. Why would you want him back in the sequel? Tidus can suck my Blitzball.

Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

Go Enjoy the Existence

One must live for today. One must stand with open arms to the world around them, embracing it for what is not what could have been. The problems arise when you find yourself contemplatively losing yourself in a moment. By reflecting upon how something could be relived and acted upon differently you often find yourself wandering through your mind and trying to recalculate the past. Over thought of what could have been and not what is can often be a tedious and deadly mistress. Sure, one should actively review actions and learn from the missteps made in those actions, but to live in the now is a real error. You must co-habitat with the present and live in the instant. Embrace the immediate moment. Talk to that pretty girl, stay out a little late, have a meaningless conversation, watch that stupid movie. Live. One must occasionally walk barefoot in the snow or get shit face drunk on their birthday. Life is too short and we are too small and menial amongst a vast universe to not enjoy that chocolate bar or the fog that hides the moon. In a violent and hectic existence, one must take heed and enjoy all the wonder. Breath deep friends, all the problems, stresses and strains will be there tomorrow.  Go enjoy the existence.

 

 

Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

Ranking Tarantino Flicks

To start off our new Rank This! series, we list something near and dear to all of us here at the BS Production House. Tune in Weekly for fun and exciting checklists of things we love and hate. If you have any suggestions, please let us know. Without further ado, Bored Shenanigans presents

Ranking Tarantino Flicks

8-Kill Bill Volume 2

Kill_bill_vol_two_ver

Coming in at number eight, is the second half of Tarantino’s love letter to the kung-fu film. Michael Madsen proves the undeniable highlight of this film. A good movie, but lacking in the masterful action that took place in the first film. Only someone like Tarantino could have a movie like Kill Bill Vol. 2 be this low on their best of list.

 7-Django Unchained

django

Barely squeaking out of the number six spot, the latest film to wow audiences and stir up controversy. Tarantino’s stylized American West served as a back drop for this revenge epic. Recruiting a slew of highly skilled actors, this film shines as one of his best pieces and proves that Mr. Tarantino still has the Midas touch.   

6-Jackie Brown

jackie brown

“Shut your raggedy-ass up, and sit the fuck down!”

This is the most under appreciated movie that resides in the Tarantino filmography. Following the hugely successful Pulp Fiction, this one some how fell through the cracks. It was a critical favorite and earned Pam Grier some much deserved recognition, but this is usually the film even most Tarantino fans have missed. A very well written and well acted piece, if you haven’t seen it, you are missing something special. 

5-Kill Bill Volume 1

Kill-Bill-Vol--1-uma-thurman-263921_888_1400

This is an action movie. This is the way they are done and this is how martial arts movies exists in the 21st Century. Ultra stylized, extra violent and truly compelling, this was the vehicle that reminds us all of how bad ass a yellow track suit is.

4-Death Proof

death proof

It is damn shame that the Grindhouse experiment didn’t go over better than it did.  If you like 70s slasher flicks and muscle cars, this is the right movie for you. One of the coolest movies rides in recent memory with a great mix of dialogue and action. This picture shows the evil genius that resides behind the camera. Paired with Planet Terror and packed full of fake trailers, this was exploitation films on a huge budget. One of the most fun works in Mr. Tarantino’s catalog.

3-Reservoir Dogs

reservoirdogs

“You gonna bark all day, little doggy? Or you gonna bite?”

This is the movie that made Tarantino a household name. What a powerhouse of a debut film. The characters in this film are so well drawn out, they seem like you have known them for years. If there were any more bad-asses on your screen, the TV would kick your ass and take your wallet. This is the heist film by which all other heist films are judged by, yet you never even see the actual heist. Rarely does something this good come along, yet it only makes number three here.

2-Inglorious Basterds

ingloriousbasterds

Tarantino doesn’t care what spell check has to say. He misspelled it on purpose and never apologized for it. This World War Two ride throws history to the curb. Over the top assassinations of Hitler, hilariously bad Italian accents, angry Holocaust survivor,  and legendary cut throat soldiers. Any number of these things would make a film phenomenal. This one combines them all along with one of the greatest villains ever put to film. Christopher Waltz transcended so deeply  into character, you forget you are watching an actor. In all sincerity, this is one of Hollywood’s finest displays of cinema.

1-Pulp Fiction

pulpfiction

This is the most quoted movie around the BS water cooler. We seriously wore a DVD out by playing it so many times. Yes it revived careers, yes it made us all want a “Bad Motherfucker” wallet. It made us all laugh when Marvin got shot in the face, and we all have our coffee with lots of cream lots of sugar. Preserved by the National Film Registry for artistic and cultural significance, this will forever go down as a classic. This movie will be torn apart and analyzed forever by film students and film critics. This is excellence reincarnated into pure awesome. Making ‘getting medieval’ a thing and it will inspire throngs of storytellers for eons.  


Cody Jemes is the Literary Engineer behind both the Rank This and the Articulations sections @ Bored Shenanigans. Stay tuned weekly for new articles, new pod-casts and all kinds of free funny. Fill your need for sports at Texas Fandom or fill that poetry void at Abuse Through Poetry.

Outside Looking In

Sometimes it takes a friend. Sometimes it takes a friend for you to recognize your own flaws. Those hard standing habits that have become so structurally significant to you. Those stubborn things you allow to persist without even noticing them. Sometimes, it just takes a friend to shine the candle in just the right way for you to see your own shadow. That demented reflection of yourself that cannot encapsulate your better qualities. Darkly it has crept within you, bestowing upon you traits you never wanted. Embedded within you so deeply, it takes a second set of eyes to find them. It is a shattering and unnerving feeling to see your flaws laid out before you. That moment when you have all the evidence before you, yet you still want to claim innocence. All you can do is absorb it. Take in the criticisms and grow from them. Even in small areas allow them to make you a better person. Remember that recognition is the first step to transformation.  So swallow your pride and proceed better. Go out and improve yourself. Take a trusted suggestion or two to heart. Do not allow yourself to be placid and stagnant in your own self betterment. We were never meant to sit still. We were meant to fail miserably and succeed gloriously. We were meant to observe and report. We were meant to improve ourselves and the others around us. Just take the criticisms, accept your blemishes and do whatever is in your power to polish them up a little. Beyond the goals of rising above, past the notions of furtherance of self, it is imperative that you thank that friend for their observations.

 

 Cody Jemes  is the mastermind and head complainer behind the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Has his writing style got you all hot and bothered and you crave more? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at  Texas Fandom, watch him abuse poetry on his blog or if  you are tired of reading? Listen to the podcast he co-hosts.  

Top 9 Favorite Swearwords

Cody’s Top 9 Favorite Swearwords

9)Piss. Does this really count? Isn’t this just a rude word? Like saying I voted for straight Republican ticket or I like Creed? This one barely makes the list.

8)Tits. Really? How is this a bad word? I guess because it isn’t the more technical teets, it is sinful. At least it brings to mind something wonderful, hence it’s position.

7) Damn. This is a pretty weak swear word, even when added as a description word. Even at it’s highest level of ‘I damn you to hell!’ it really requires a stronger word to make it strong enough.

6) Hell. This beats out damn simply on imagery. Devils, demons, hell fire and brimstone are all solicited. No one wants to go to hell, not even Hell, Michigan. A good word, but trumped by others on the list.

5)Shit. The versatility gives this one a guaranteed spot. Oh shit, holy shit, stepped in shit, dropped my shit, a shitty list. What a great word with good strong symbolism.

4)Ass. Another good one, it can be a great thing or a description of a horrible person. A giant ass can mean something glorious, something moronic or something vomit educing. Asses would be nothing without assholes, but the sphincter owes this one a debt of gratitude.

3) Dick. Insert Freudian phallic symbolism joke here. Look you can add ‘dick’ to anything, dick-day, dick-grass, Jupiter-dick. I don’t know what they mean either, but they sound dirty and it is all thanks to dick.

2) Cunt. I seriously had to debate my one and two for quite some time. This lost, but it did receive much consideration. This word immediately receives a shudder of disapproval from the fairer sex. Isn’t that one of the best parts about enjoying foul language? To irk the women?

1) Fuck. Come on, what else could top this list? This is the big enchilada of swear words and honestly, one of the most necessary words in the English language. It has the most ability to express every emotion conceived by mankind. This is an amazing word and most worthy of a number one spot.

***)Honorable mentions, motherfucker, cocksucker and goddamn are phenomenal swear words. Flowering your speech with them can add such atmosphere, but they generally require another word for them to work properly. So if you want an all powerful swear, we here at Bored Shenanigans, advocate the use of all of these.

 Cody Jemes  is the mastermind and head complainer behind the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Has his writing style got you all hot and bothered and you crave more? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at  Texas Fandom, watch him abuse poetry on his blog or if  you are tired of reading? Listen to the podcast he cohosts.  

Begrudgingly

Just fucking squash your petty feuds. Don’t sit and stammer at the screen making up bullshit excuses aimed at nothing beyond self-gratification, fucking eliminate your feuds. Look, it is understood that some wrongs cannot be righted. Some grievous and dire violations of self and family cannot be corrected by a mere ‘I’m sorry’.  Outside of select few instances, do that many of us have things requiring Punisher-esque  style of revenge? Look we all disagree, we all are assholes or victims of assholes at times, nevertheless if we want to have any type of chance at moving forward, one must eliminate the issues. If you really don’t give a fuck about the person you are disagreeing with, them ignore them. However, when it comes down to family, friends, co-workers, or hell even frequently used hookers, just fix the issue. No one wants to walk waist deep in the excrement of your stupid high school drama. Nobody wants to feel that uneasy and unsettling tension that hangs so heavy when aforementioned squabblers are in the room. If not for your sake do it for the sake of everyone else.

Beyond all that, if the issues marred whatever relationship was there, at least try to be civil. Just feign a bit of courtesy and think to yourself what a goddamned cocksucker that person is. So here at Bored Shenanigans we advocate treaties amongst warring parties and nations. No more should one feel the attrition of another just because of something ridiculous and misunderstood. No longer shall we bicker as teenage girls do over who is prettier and who gets to wear purple to the prom. Just let it go.

 

Cody Jemes  is the mastermind and head complainer behind the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Has his writing style got you all hot and bothered and you crave more? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at  Texas Fandom, watch him abuse poetry on his blog or if  you are tired of reading? Listen to the podcast he co-hosts.  

Bored Shenanigans-To Go 001

Download here

Welcome everyone to Bored Shenanigans… To Go. On this initial episode of the To Go series Cody is joined by Brent, In which he and Brent tell embarrassing tales about themselves, wax philosophical about their friendship, talk about pod casts better than this one and briefly gloss over school emergency policy. Also enjoy Cody’s first try at editing and see if you can handle a BS episode without Brewer. So beyond all that, this episode is also somewhat of a ‘oh shit!’ as the plague has infected the BS studios, delaying our normal release schedule. As we recover, we hope you enjoy this.

New Year’s Resolve

New Year is a time of new beginnings and half ass’d promises to yourself. Those vices you intend to release into the great abyss of time and space, those torrid little corruptions we hold onto despite our best intentions. This is the year when we customarily let those fallacies flutter away and try to better ourselves. That in and of itself is a grand old tradition, yet the often forgotten and for granted part of such is to actually change. A change is a difficult thing, it is a re-manipulation of habits and reliable old actions. Change can present either the height of terror or the oasis of hope to all whom pass upon that roadway.  The most prevalent part of any change is to actually change, not to just jostle up things to settle back into familiar old routines. Fucking alter whatever you intended to revise and move forward with it. Take it, embrace it, and conquer the goddamn thing, do not allow the lack of change to conquer you. It is imperative that you actually follow through, sift through the trifle of excuses and emerge victorious. Whatever your goal was, attain that. Change your job, change your waist line, change your religion, hell change your abilities, just do the work and win.  That is your humble writer’s goal this New Year, to follow through and stand triumphant atop my flaws.

Cody Jemes  is the head writer of the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Need more of him and don’t know where to look? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at  Texas Fandom, leave snarky comments on his  poetry blog or if tired of reading? Listen to the podcast he co -hosts.  

That Time of Year

Alas, we have all survived the holiday frenzy that is the Christmas rush. You may have braved the box stores on Black Friday, you may have fought your way through the hordes of last minute shoppers, or you may have wisely planned out your X-Mas shopping all year long. Whatever the case may be, you have endured and arrived at the day. Kick back and relish in your victory. While you are relishing, remember to take a moment to send your thoughts, good vibes, well wishes and prayers to those who cannot be with their families. I know this message is beaten to death this time of year, but it is the goddamn holidays so just do it.

So as we move forward from one season toward another, maybe we can take a token of the manufactured holiday charity we are force fed and apply it. I don’t expect any of you to go forth and save the world or anything, but perhaps just try a be a little better version of yourself. Whether it is the clichéd New Year’s resolution or just a personal goal to cover up that horrendous halitosis it is defiantly achievable.  Here at Bored Shenanigans, we would like to thank all of our listeners for their support, all of our rouges gallery for their participation and last but not least I would like to thank the almighty technical adviser and editor for his tireless effort making our jackassery sound mildly intelligent . We are striving to bring you a better and more classy Bored Shenanigans experience, you know with bigger tits, twice as many explosions and more fucks than you can shake a stick at.  Stay tuned for new developments and remember to keep your mistletoe hung this holiday season.

 

Cody Jemes  is the head writer of the Bored Shenanigans Articulations. Need more of him and don’t know where to look? Check out his articles on the Dallas Mavericks at  Texas Fandom, leave snarky comments on his  poetry blog or if tired of reading? Listen to the podcast he co -hosts.  

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 19

You seeing us undressed makes us want to Johnfinger. So we did it again. That is got naked. Well, we johnfingered too. Anyhoo, There has been a wedding in the B.S. Family. Also we get angry about nothing important. Chad makes an appearance. We take Vegas by storm then by elevator.  And we learn there is a lot of truth in (Pulp) Fiction and in Kevin Smith’s new move Tusk.

Download

Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.     

Welcome to Episode 19: Live Nudes 2: Live Nude-er

Also Brewer Officially announces running for President of Hollywood!  So support him at your local polling stations.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 18

Man, we here at B.S. Productions are tired lately. New Rest-full, New Week, Same guest Cody Jemes! This week Brewer shows a range of emotions. He is happy with Drag shows. He hates new microwaves. He is sad about no Enterprise hotel. Cody is in the same emotional state as always: angry, this time about the way DC is dealing with its movies, also Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.     

Welcome to Episode 18: A Few Rests More

Also, we talk about news like Nelson Mandela and the fake sign language interpreter at his funeral. Then we debate who is to blame on the case of the girl passing out in the cold after being dropped off by friends. Oh, I almost forgot Cody talks about a prostitutes blog. I’m sure there will be a link somewhere.

Find the show notes you will be glad you did.

Bored Shenanigans Podcast – Episode 17

A not so live and only kind of nude episode guest starring Cody Jemes! This was originally recorded for release last Monday but with the surprise episode it got pushed back one. Still not that heavily edited ( a lot like some of my episode descriptions; I have been told some typos get throw ) its like you are in the moment with us. You can just make-believe you are a time traveler on the most boring trip through the space-time continuum ever.

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Welcome to Bored Shenanigans.     

Welcome to Episode 17: A Fist Full of Rest

We talk turkey about thanksgiving, Cody talks about text messages from the rogues gallery and the troubles at his job, Brewer talks Final Fantasy then his ego explodes all over the podcast’s face.
*No gangsters or gangstas were harmed in the making of this podcast* but if they would like to send us their terms or treaties we will look them over.