Time is an abyss…
During the month of October our tradition is to watch a horror movie every night all thirty one days. I usually don’t have a plan or a theme, I just snatch films at random. I always try to sample some of the newest offerings or at least enjoy a few that I haven’t ever seen. As with most traditions, I have a few I favorites I’ll rewatch every year. No Halloween is complete without The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, The Omen, The Creature from the Black Lagoon and my personal favorite, Nosferatu.
Nosferatu is a silent film horror classic. An unauthorized adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula the iconic imagery of this film is deeply embedded into popular culture. Max Schreck’s portrayal of the monster was so convincing, rumors of him actually being a vampire still circulate. Nosferatu is so great on every level it physically hurts, I will always enthusiastically recommend it. During my searching for movies I came across the West German remake from 1979 called Nosferatu the Vampyre. I have seen the title before, but I assumed it was just another recut of the original. There are several edits that have added different styles of music and whatnot trying to increase the experience. As I looked into this movie, it is highly reviewed. Extremely highly reviewed. Everything from the set design to the acting were giving shining, 5 star marks from all critics. How can I not watch such a marvel? How could my Halloween not include such a masterpiece?
Maybe I am not the target audience or I am too dense to appreciate the subtle artisitc nuiances employed in this movie, but this movie sucked. This movie fucking sucked and I don’t mean a little, I mean a lot. It was so goddamn tedious to sit through and managed committed the most egregious sin of all, mediocrity. When a remake is so boring it makes you question the quality of the original and the source material simultaneously, you have truly achieved something. I really don’t understand how this thing was given the golden crown of cinematic achievement by so many people. I didn’t do anything for me other than make me wish to watch the original. I didn’t see the point of this remake at all, when a movie as stellar as the 1922 film exists. Save yourself some time and the only enjoy the Nosferatu worth knowing.
Death is not the worst. There are things more horrible than death.
Cody Jemes is the co-host of the Bored Shenanigans podcast available via iTunes and Stitcher. See more of his articles here. Also enjoy his poetry blog here or download his e-book here. Be sure to follow Bored Shenanigans on Twitter or Facebook.