We All Hate These

Humans are sadists.  We have created everyday situations that no one likes, but society dictates we must endure.  For some reason it was decided long ago that these are the rhetoric and routines and that we all must sashay our way across them. Below are some the worst offenders.

1) Getting your hair cut.

Seriously, how is there no machine to do this for you? It is the year 2013 and we are still waiting in line for this. The hairdresser or barber always wants some sort of technical description of your hair style with guard size. How in the shit are you expected to remember all this? It was like two months since that last haircut , We have no idea what was used, just cut the damn hair. Oh and why in the mother of shit do they insist on talking to you? There you are, trapped beneath an apron and forced to deal with the small talk of the barber. Not a one of us enjoy this.

2)  The waiter disappears.

We have all been here.  You just finished a fantastic meal and get the bill. You flip out your wallet, throw down your preferred form of payment and then by some form of magic, the server vanishes. So there you sit, stuck within the purgatory of ‘I want my change.’   Trapped there with nothing more than dreams of what the rest of your evening might entail. After an egregious amount of time, here comes the waiter. Full of pep wanting to know if you need anything else. No, we want nothing else. Just our change and to leave. Departure is the dream, help us realize that fantasy dear waiter, help us.

3) Overly slow pedestrians.

We all know this feeling. There you go, cruising through a parking lot then here they come. It is the dreaded slow ‘in the way walkers.’ This random person saunters by, they make eye contact with you and immediately slow to a crawl. No, we retract that. That is an insult to the notion of crawling, they slow to a sub-crawl.  They know you are waiting on them, but they don’t care. These are the type of people that would have been burned at the stake in days of old. What horrid sorcery and witchcraft do these crones practice. Why throughout all the wisdom of the ages have we as a species never discovered a proper way to alleviate this issue? Chariots and carriages had to deal with this, why are we still dealing with this? Truly the best minds of history have failed us.

Here at Bored Shenanigans, we are here to serve. Whether it be with laughs or with public service announcements,  So remember not to be a member of any of the aforementioned groups. Also, when dealing with a member of such group just do your best to not go primal, but by all means do your civic duty of scoffing and guffawing at them later.

One response to “We All Hate These

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